And so, my list continues. This is what birthdays tend to do to me. They make me pensive. Again, here are the ground rules. This is decidedly not a New Year's resolution list. It is a list of things I've learned throughout this year and will continue to take to heart and action. Maybe there is somebody out there who agrees with some or all of it. In that case, I've done a public service. If not, consider it an open journal entry, a window into my messed up psyche. If you are interested in Parts 1 and 2 of this inventory, click on the links.
- Find new artforms that challenge your biases. I've had several conversations lately about the genius that is Hamilton. The brilliant musical will finally be making its way to Toronto in 2020 and far too many people I know have said that they will take a pass, not because it is a costly ticket or because they would like to avoid the rush for seats but because, and this is direct quote, "We don't like hip-hop." The ignorance and close-mindedness of this philosophy stun me. Without getting too far into the weeds as to why I think this particular show not only raises the bar for musical theatre but moves it forward permanently, I am struck by the obtuseness of refusing to venture outside of one's comfort zone. Art, in all its constructions, is designed to make you think and to feel. Sometimes those emotions are familiar and easy and sometimes they are uncomfortable and difficult. If you avoid that which makes you uneasy, you are missing the best that art has to offer. I've attended several plays, movies, and concerts this year that challenged my biases. Some I loved (Riot at Luminato) and some I'm still searching for the answers (Vox Lux) but I have never once regretted the experience. Push yourself to be uncomfortable. It's how we grow.
- Read past the headlines. One of the things that we all need to learn how to be better at is evaluating the massive amounts of information thrown at us every day. Newspaper and media headline writers have become derelict in their jobs because those small captions rarely provide the nuance that exists within the stories themselves. When a headline screams "Sex-ed consult website flooded by 'certain groups' who may have skewed results: Ford" (an actual headline on a story from cbc.ca) it is wholly deceptive. Sure, the premier said this and yes, CBC is directly quoting him in the headline but it is also true that he is spouting nonsense with absolutely no data or facts to back up his outrageous claim. The body of the story makes that clear but if you only read the headline, you would think that there was a conspiracy out there to damage the sex-ed website with false comments. Actually, the opposite is true but now the narrative is controlled by a lie and it is very difficult to put the lie back into the jar. If however, CBC had written a headline like Without offering any evidence, Premier Ford says sex-ed consult website flooded by 'certain groups' who may have skewed results, the truth is now properly framed. Because I don't see the news media learning these lessons quickly, (Daniel Dale in the Toronto Star is a huge exception to this rule. After 4 years of covering Rob Ford and now two with Trump, he can and does give masterclasses about how the media is framing these lying pricks.) I feel it has become incumbent on all of us to spend a bit more time and read the whole story. And please don't share it on social media if you haven't. We must all take responsibility for the ignorance that is festering out there.
- Write down family recipes and share them. Our memories are all tied up in food. I have wonderful memories of baking with my aunt while she taught me how to make her rugalach. I have the recipe and I have made them many times since she died but it just isn't the same. That doesn't mean I will ever stop making them or sharing the recipe. Those recipes are a part of who we are. A friend was gracious enough this year to share her mom's (z"l) coffee cake recipe. I had never eaten it before and I knew that it took a lot for her to share it. I'm certain that no matter how delicious it was when I made it, and it was delicious, it couldn't possibly have tasted as good as when her mom baked it for her all those years ago. The graciousness and generosity it took for her to share it with me did not go unnoticed. I have heard tales of cooks and bakers who will share their family recipes, only to leave out a special or secret ingredient so as to sabotage the newbie. I'm not sure I understand the hostility or selfishness that goes into this kind of behaviour. We should relish our histories and share those stories and memories with the next generation. Thanks go out to my friend for introducing me to her mom through her cake.
- Become a fan of something or somebody new. Fandom, when it isn't creepy or stalkerish, is a great way of broadening our horizons. It is also a way of sharing and sending new talent out into the world. This year I became a fan of John Legend (late to the game, I know), his wife Chrissy Teigen (one of the best follows there is on Twitter), Quinn Cummings (the former child star and now a very funny author), TV critic and Pulitzer Prize-winning essayist Emily Nussbaum, and a young up and coming third baseman for the Blue Jays (maybe by May 1) named Vlad. Have some fun. Be a fan.
- Move from doing to being. We often get so wrapped in the details that we forget the big picture. I know that I do. I have been intently trying to be in the moment as it happens rather than running from task to task. This year it really hit home during our trip to Dublin. We had a list of "must-see" places on our list. We were doing the tourist thing but our time was limited. On our first evening, we climbed into an Uber and our driver, discovering that we were from Toronto, asked if we had seen the Famine Memorial directly across from the Immigrant Museum. We said we hadn't but wondered why he thought that we should. He explained that the corresponding statues were on display in a Toronto park down by the lake. We were stunned. We never knew this art installation even existed at home. He gave us an entire history of the piece, how Canada became involved, and why it was so important to the Irish people. That half hour drive through Dublin was the most present I felt during our entire stay there. Of course, we made time the next day to seek out the statues and then The Husband and I went searching for them again at home. We sometimes lose sight of the depth when we only hit the highlights. Be. And then....Do.
There will be a few more of these before my calendar turns over for another year. Again...Merry Christmas to those who observe and a happy day off for the rest of us.
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