Friday 8 March 2019

International Women's Day is Not a Meme

If one more person wishes me a Happy International Women's Day I might just have to banshee the hell out them.

This isn't Mother's Day you dumbasses. 

Today is a day that should be used to highlight, recognize, and advance the voices of female empowerment that came before and those who are currently making their marks. It should also be used as a platform to understand that while women have made tremendous advances in the one-hundred and nine years since the first International Women's Day, the work ahead is still daunting and necessary.

But can we please stop with the commercialization and the trivial bullshit? 

Instead, I would like to tell you about a few of the women who have made a deep impact on my life, who through their strength, tenacity, and fortitude, taught me, encouraged me, and eased my path.

There were my two grandmothers, coincidentally both named Esther, who like their biblical namesake, forged paths of independence at a time when it wasn't always easy to do so. My dad's Esther came as a married immigrant to a Canada that wasn't always hospitable to Jews. She learned English by listening and singing along with the radio and she fiercely fought for her children and grandchildren to become proud Canadians without ever losing their Jewish identities. My mom's Esther raised four children, often on a wing and a prayer, and was part of the workforce at a time when women working outside of the home was frowned upon. Her working was a necessity and not a luxury. Widowed in her fifties, she continued to support herself through full-time work because that's just what needed to be done.

There is my mom, who despite undiagnosed dyslexia, worked her ass off to realize her dream of becoming a nurse. Professional programs were subjected to "Jewish quotas" at the time of her entry into nursing and my mom was one of just three Jews admitted to her class at Women's College Hospital. Her perseverance to achieve her dream is a gold standard that I point to every single day.

There is Rabbi Sally Priesand who was the first woman ordained a rabbi in North America. Rabbi Priesand opened up the bimah to younger women like me who longed for roles in clerical leadership. She made the impossible possible.

There is Cantor Barbara Ostfeld who, as the first woman ordained a cantor in North America, allowed for women's voices to be heard in the synagogue. She changed the tune and tenor of Jewish music.

Meeting both of these trailblazers and having the opportunity to both study with and perform with them was truly a highpoint in my career in Jewish leadership.

Debbie Friedman (z''l) forever altered the way Jews sing and pray and she did it in a way that was accessible and inviting without ever sacrificing core Jewish beliefs. And...she did it with a guitar. Debbie's work gave me permission to be myself.

These are all women who are worthy of accolades on this International Women's Day. Women who were following their passions, their hearts, their souls, and their truths. These are women to whom I point with pride, am proud to call teachers, and will one day share their stories with my granddaughter, hopefully on an International Women's Day.

Let's remember the real reasons we observe today. It is so much more than a meme or a bumper sticker.