Tis the season to rest ye merry gentlemen so that the fat, jolly old elf won't put you on the naughty list and leave lumps of coal in your stocking on a silent night before the most wonderful time of the year.
I'm pretty sure I could do better but that's really not all that bad for thirty seconds of typing. The point that I am trying to make is that Christmas is everywhere and so ubiquitous that even those of us who don't partake can't help but be assimilated into much of the hype. And we are all reluctantly pulled into the tinsel-laden year-end orbit of retrospection and resolution.
We Jews do our stock-taking at Yom Kippur. We look at the mistakes we have made and promise to not repeat them, knowing that we are flawed beings and will be back next year to once again beg for forgiveness. The secular year-end is more of a time of list-making. This time of year is filled with lists. Grocery lists. Gift lists. There are those who search for the best of or the worst of. There are lists of those whom we have lost and some of the gains we have made. There are lists for good news stories and important stories.
For me, the year-end represents an acknowledgement of another trip around the sun. Having a birthday during the Christmas/New Year week can often feel like an afterthought. (I mean, who the hell wants to shop for a birthday gift at Christmas?) It has never bothered me given that Christmas isn't a part of my celebratory cycle and it always meant that I was off school but as I have aged there is no doubt that a certain amount of self-analysis has crept into this week. This year is no exception. Since this space is all about self-examination and frankly, vanity, I thought that I might take a few minutes a day for the next several leading up to my birthday to elucidate some of the things that I have learned this year. This is not a resolution list. It is simply a few things that I have discovered carry great weight for me and maybe somebody reading this might say, "Yup. That works for me too."
- Have a grandchild. I realize that this is not in anybody's control but it is, without a doubt, the only thing that really mattered this year. Aside from the obvious instantaneous joy and unconditional love that is Molly, becoming a grandparent reminded me of my place in the line and pushed me forward by a step. It would have been easy to simply wallow in the agedness of it all. I chose instead to look at the face of that miraculous little girl and think of the possibilities still to come. I will work as hard as I can to make the world a better place for her to live in. L'dor vador. From generation to generation we will protect this chain.
- Embrace your righteous anger. I am so very tired of people telling me to calm down or to modulate my tone. I am righteously and viscerally angry at so many things right now and I believe I have a right to feel that way. This anger has pushed me outside of my comfort zone and has led me to channel it toward actively working to fix those perceived inequalities. I marched for the very first time this year with survivors of gun violence. I voted for a party that would never before have been a possibility for me because it was the only way to help curb the avarice of a dangerous actor. I donated to individual candidates municipally to help rid council of an avowed racist. I joined a progressive group to keep pushing forward an important agenda. These were admittedly baby-steps in the huge world of activism but I will no longer be silenced by a governing minority trying to quash the collective will of the people. In the words of Paddy Chayefsky "I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore."
- Do something new to help the environment. I am not blind to the macro issues of climate change but we can all change our habits to help. It doesn't have to be big. Eat one less meat meal a week. Shun plastic bags. Lower your thermostat a bit in the winter and raise it a bit in the summer. For me, it was less driving. Moving downtown was an easy impetus for taking public transit but now I search for ways to do it. I have become a TTC maven and I am actively working to figure out the York Region Transit as well. I have never really enjoyed driving all that much and I will admit that public transit in Toronto has its challenges that will be made all the more miserable when Premier DoFo follows through on his upload of the subways, but the erosion of our environment is the one great, crushing issue of our time and it will not be solved by hiding our heads in the sand or pretending that it doesn't exist. It is the prime social, economic, political, religious, and scientific issue and affects every single person on the planet. Do something in your space to help.
- Walk more. It is the single most important thing I have done to improve my health. I walk to buy groceries. I walk to the drugstore. I walk to entertainment venues. I try and walk at least 5km each and every day. It doesn't have to be sweat-inducing, although that exercise is important too, you need to move. Our bodies weren't made to be immobile. Move the joints. Get your heart pumping. Not only that, you meet some really interesting people when you get out into your neighbourhoods and out of your cars.
- Notice people. As a pedestrian, I have almost been hit by cars several times this year. It has made me a better driver (when I do drive) and a more active observer of my surroundings. I have learned to better appreciate the server in the restaurant or the check out person at the grocery. I have given space to the cyclist who is just trying to get to work or the parent attempting to maneuver the stroller while holding the hand of a toddler. More critically, I have made sure that the homeless people that populate my area are hydrated in the summer and fed in the cold. I have looked at their faces and I have seen my own privilege. I will not pretend that their suffering doesn't exist.
- Call out racism and bigotry. I do this now even when it is uncomfortable and even when it comes from those I like or love. Hatred is pervasive and when we ignore it, it becomes normative. If you are spouting this crap, you will not get a pass from me.
- Stop wearing clothes that hurt. This year, I have abandoned high-heels forever and have forsaken shapewear and pantyhose. I have seen my future and it involves flats, jeans, and body rolls. I have a recurring nightmare that involves me getting stuck in my Spanx with nobody around to cut me out. Her obituary read, she died of Spanx-induced suffocation. Nope. Comfort can be stylish.
- Subscribe to a newspaper. Or two. Or three. My children think that the fact that I still receive a newspaper is a sign of my old age. I get where they are coming from and there is an argument to be made from an environmental perspective but I am not advocating actually receiving a paper. I am suggesting that you pay for your news, especially locally. Journalism is under assault and in real threat of disappearing. If you refuse to go behind a paywall and help fund the crucial work these dedicated and disappearing professionals are doing every day, you are contributing to the "fake news" era. Journalists are our check on the institutions of power. I urge you all to stop getting your news from social media sites and spend a few bucks a year on a newspaper.
I'll have more tomorrow. Happy Festivus and for those entering into holiday celebrations, may they be lovely and healthy. Merry Christmas.
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