On with my list of things that I have learned this year. A reminder. This is not a list of resolutions but rather a few things that I have discovered have mattered a great deal to me. Part 1 of this inventory can be found by clicking on the link.
- Don't buy or fall for technology that annoys you. There is so much garbage out there, believe me when I say that we don't need half of it. I mean, why does my toothbrush require Bluetooth? I still don't know but it has it. The worst has been my new microwave and oven here at The Southern Home. The timers on both beep three times with a ten-second pause and then a subsequent three times. And it keeps repeating until you do what it is commanding you to do like the fucking Queen. My oven is a nagging bitch. Seriously. It's like it's talking to me. "Get your lazy ass up right now and get the asparagus out of the oven before I call someone to haul you out of that chair with a crane and report you to the ghost of Julia Child." I don't need technology to remind me of Jewish mothers. I've got enough of those in my life. Technology is supposed to make our lives easier, not more aggravating. If it does the latter, ditch it.
- Find smart people who disagree with you. One of the best things I did this year was to start to seek out and read conservative opinion writers who are brilliant. I started to do this in an attempt to better understand the other side of the political spectrum but what I found was some cogent intellectual debate. Most times I will still disagree with their ideas but I can better articulate my point of view if I know theirs. That is not to say that there is any excuse for nor is there any room on my reading list for sycophants or asslickers but people like Michael Gerson, Jennifer Rubin, Max Boot, Andrew Coyne, Paul Wells, offer a window into centrism and conservatism that is smart and thoughtful. I am still firmly planted on the other side for a whole host of reasons but there is a considerate discussion to be had that can exist without labels or epithets. **A codicil to this list-point is that this will NEVER include the propaganda that emanates from Fox News, Ontario News Now, The Toronto Sun, or anything or anybody who has ever been associated with Ezra Levant. These sources are dangerous to democracy and have learned their lessons at the feet of Joseph Goebbels.
- You can't teach stupid and I no longer tolerate stupid. I have zero fucks left to give for unmitigated ignorance. The world is NOT flat. I can't believe that we have to say this in 2018-19. The moon landings? Not a hoax. Vaccines? Vital and the best of scientific discovery. Childhood diseases? Bad. The flu? It kills hundreds of thousands of people every year. Really?? What is wrong with people. You don't get to pretend that hundreds of years of scientific work and discoveries are wrong because you decide that you don't like needles. Unless you have an MD, a Ph.D. in some scientific field, or are a researcher, get the fuck out of my life. If you think that going back to a world where the bible taught the best lessons to your children about sex, birth control, homosexuality, mental illness, or drug use, stay the fuck out of my mentions. If you come back at me with studies from Joe's school of homeopathy to further your argument, I am done with you. Not everything is debateable. Scientific discovery is not always perfect nor is it always altruistic but it is usually proven. Smarten up.
- Take pictures and make sure that you are in them. I have attended far too many shivas and funerals this year where the most recent photo of the deceased is thirty-years-old. Like many women my age, I hate the way I look in pictures but I have actively put myself into more this year. It is important. I want Molly to have photos with her Bubby. I want to revel in the length and success of my marriage and our visual yearly progression. We have earned those laugh lines. I want a visual record of the lovely times spent together with family and friends. So yes, I will continue to be that person with the camera that annoys the shit out of my kids at Seders or outings to the park. I will even take a few more of myself. But never with a selfie stick. That is technology run amok.
- Friend my family and family my friends. One of the great joys of my life is being able to claim friendship with both my immediate family and my extended one. I actually like spending time with these maddening, goofy, opinionated people. Our times together aren't nearly as often as I would like them to be, but they are important and cherished. I am also blessed to have friends who have become family. Knowing that there are people in my life who have my back and will support me no matter what is anything but a trivial matter. I know that there are people in all of our lives who bring toxicity. I have come to the realization that life is far too short for me to engage with these lost souls. I'm sticking with those who love me without the drama.
- Stop engaging with trolls. Life is far too short to dive into online rabbit holes that serve no purpose other than ego-stroking. I am done with the comments section of any newspaper or media post. I also will not copy and paste your posts, engage with your uneducated online race-baiting memes, share the inspirational quotes that you didn't create yourself, or join your brother-in-law's Facebook group that advocates for the return to basic Canadian values. I have better things to do with my time.
- Look for God in unusual places. Just because I believe in science does not mean I am an atheist. Being a religious person is becoming increasingly difficult is an atheistic world. This year I have looked for and I have found The Divine Spirit in sunsets, a baby's giggles, a new Canadian's excited face while being honoured at the ballgame, rainbows, and a friend's healing. Where I will find it next is an ever unfolding mystery.
That's all for today. Wishing all who observe a Very Merry Christmas. For those who don't, enjoy your secular day off.
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