High Holy Day Philosophy Courtesy of Shtisel

I attended a very cool panel discussion last evening featuring some of the cast and creators of the Israeli broadcast sensation, Shtisel. If you haven't already been swept up by this worldwide phenomenon, I suggest that you hit up your Netflix account post-haste and do not dare surface until you have binged the entirety of both seasons. (A third season is in the works and cannot come soon enough.)

The panel was sponsored jointly by Beth Tzedek and Beth Torah congregations here in Toronto and was the precursor to the midnight service of Selichot which marks the official beginning of the Yamim Noraim or High Holy Days. The Selichot prayers are those of repentance during which we Jews communally ask The Divine Spirit for forgiveness. The service is often a poignant and soul-stirring precursor to the Days of Awe. Having the Shtisel cast precede the service was a brilliant ploy on the part of the two congregations to draw in worshippers to a unique but difficult service, given the lateness of the hour. An enthusiastic group of Toronto Shtisel groupies packed the synagogue last night hoping to feed their fandom. For most, I am certain that Selichot services were deep in the dark recesses of their minds.

I will admit that Shtisel was the drawing card for me as well. Having led my share of Selichot services, the novelty of seeing the Israeli cast in person was way ahead on the depth chart of attending a midnight service for which I have tremendous difficulty in staying awake. I'm not certain what I expected of these actors but I certainly wasn't prepared to be dazzled by a true Yamim Noraim moment.

During a question about how she reconciles her abandoned Haredi wife character of Giti with a far more liberal interpretation of how we believe that women should react to the return of a wayward spouse, actress Neta Riskin was incredibly circumspect and, frankly quite brilliant in her answer when she stated,

"We tend to judge other people by their actions but we tend to judge ourselves by our intentions."

I was stunned by this bit of truly cogent modern philosophy.

We do judge others by their actions or, worse yet, their inactions but we tend to excuse our own inaction by what we consider to be honourable intentions.

What if we were to flip the equation? What if we tried to look beyond the actions of those we easily condemn with a keystroke or a flippant remark and instead we attempted to see the work behind what they have done or plan to do? Conversely, what if instead of holding onto our good intentions like life preservers, we finally put some of what we say we are going to do into concrete action? Obviously, it isn't a perfect idea. There are still those out there whose actions are inherently nasty or those who spout platitudes without backing up their rhetoric, but what if we judged others a bit more by their intentions and ourselves a bit more by our actions? Isn't it possible we might find a more balanced approach to the way we live our lives and perhaps a steadier manner to how we exist in a world fraught with emotional landmines?

We enter into the New Year with a great deal of anxiety. We are concerned by the lack of moral fortitude by our leaders and we see suffering coming from all corners of the earth. We are living in a time of schism and the chasms between us seem unbreachable. But what if, for a brief moment in time, we looked at those closest to us and tried to reach past what we perceive they have done and look more into their intents. And then, we look inward and move beyond our stated intentions and into concrete plans of action to back up our words. Couldn't we find a small measure of common ground with those whom we disagree?

In order for it to happen, we need to accept our own failings and apologize without hesitation or reservation to those whom we have caused pain, and we must accept the apologies of those who have failed us.

"For sins against The Almighty, the Day of Atonement atones, but for sins of one person against another, the Day of Atonement does not atone until they have made peace with one another."

Neta Riskin's Giti needed to move on from her philandering husband's actions otherwise she couldn't find true teshuva (repentance) for herself. She chose to see the intention of his renewed commitment to her and the family and to forgive his sin of leaving. It was the most difficult of paths but it enabled her to move forward.

Action and intention are truly two sides of the same coin. Let's enter into the year 5780 with both for ourselves and hope that others are trying to do the same.

May the coming year be one of health, commonality, love, life, and peace.

Shana Tovah U'metukah.

Shana Tova

I have been giving quite a bit of thought over the last week to the upcoming Yamim Noraim (The Jewish High Holy Days) and what it means for people of faith and for people who are questioning. This season is a time of reflection for Jews around the world, and while many of us look inward in order to find a sense of purpose and meaning for our lives, others choose to take a more arms-length approach to self-examination.

But here's the thing.

In whatever manner we choose to observe these sacred days, we need to be less critical of those who do not do as we ourselves might do and those who do not believe as we ourselves might believe. We are a fragmented people, us Jews. Some will attend synagogue this week and next and some may not. Some may have family dinners or break fasts and some may choose to eat alone. Some may pray and some may abstain. Some may be altogether uncomfortable with the notion of God and some may actively attempt to summon a Divine Spirit. Some may hopefully seek to right their wrongs and some may not believe that there are wrongs that need to be righted.

After spending a career trying to understand community needs and responses for these days, I have finally come to the conclusion that there is no cookie-cutter approach that will work. We as a people must seek to discover and actively maintain a sensitivity for those who have become disenfranchised by the product our organized religion has been selling. There is a reason that putting "Jews in the pews" has become so challenging and most of it stems from our lack of listening to those concerns. So, in order to start the new year off with some much-required balance, I offer a few tips for all of us observing over the next ten days. Hopefully, we can put these days into their proper perspective.

For those attending synagogue.

1) Stop worrying about what the people next to you are wearing. This is supposed to be the time when judgement should come from a higher place and not you. Are my prayers any less worthy if I choose to wear jeans? What matters is what is in the vessel, not the vessel itself.

Once Rabbi Elazar son of R. Shimon was coming from Migdal Gedor, from the house of his teacher. He rode along the riverside on his donkey, and was feeling happy and elated because he had studied much Torah.

 There chanced to meet him an exceedingly ugly man, who greeted him, "Peace be upon you, my master!" R. Elazar did not return his salutation but instead said to him, "How ugly this person is! Are all the people of your city as ugly as you?"

"I do not know," said the man. "But go to the craftsman who made me, and say to him: How ugly is the vessel which you have made!"

Realizing that he had done wrong, R. Elazar dismounted from his donkey, prostrated himself before the man, and said to him, "You are right. Forgive me!" But the man replied, "I will not forgive you until you go to the craftsman who made me and say to him, 'How ugly is the vessel which you have made.'" (Talmud Taanit 20a-b)

2) Don't search for fault in the rabbi's sermon and stop with the critiques. You may not always agree with what she/he has to say, but understand that great thought and care went into those remarks. Try and find the meaning beneath the surface.

3) Don't be so caught up in your own experience that you neglect the stranger or the newcomer. Find that person and invite them to sit with you. Synagogues can be giant cliques. Seek out the new person. We make new members when old members remember what it was like to be new.

4) Take five minutes during the service, any five minutes, and close your eyes. Breathe deeply. Listen to your own voice, your own thoughts. Try and remember why you decided to come. Make this place your holy place. You have to do the work if you want the results.

5) Stop looking around for who isn't there and focus on who is. Other people's decisions should have no bearing on your own. Remember that repentance, prayer, and charity temper judgement's severe decree.

For those who gather outside the synagogue.

1) Try and remember that there are reasons for these days that don't only involve food. Have some serious discussions at your tables about the themes and realities of the Yamim Noraim. Jews around the world are facing some difficult realities today. Let's not whitewash them with honey cakes and gefilte fish.

2) Add one extra ritual to your tables. Maybe it is some environmental experience for the "Birthday of the World" or maybe it is simply lighting festival candles that you haven't in years. Let the youngest amongst you hear and try to blow the Shofar. Do something to make the experience more than just dinner.

3) Make an effort to understand why some members choose to go to synagogue instead of gathering for dinner. Their feelings and beliefs matter too.

4) Don't dismiss religious observance as fantasy or fairy-tale. We who find meaning in it have our reasons for prayer, just like those who have no use for it have theirs. We need to respect each other's choices.

And to those who won't be doing anything during these days.

We will miss you. This is a time when all Jews can hopefully find some common ground for our concerns and our experiences. If this is not the year for you to rejoin us, then maybe next year will be. We just want you to know that you are always welcome. We are your people.

Shana Tova U'Metukah. I wish everybody a happy, a healthy, and a peaceful New Year. May we write our own stories and our own pathways, whatever they may be, in the Book of Life. 

Can I Be a Fully Religious Jew Without Communal Prayer?

I am temporarily interrupting this month of Elul blogs to engage in what I hope will be an honest and frank discussion.

My mother and I had a conversation last week that was, at its core, about the annual observance of the Yamim  Noraim (High Holy Days)-family dinners, service times, clothing options. But it truly evolved into a discourse about the changing nature of our congregations, the content found within those walls, and whether or not a questioning but highly rational, scientifically-based individual can find value in prayer, or more specifically communal prayer. And are we, (I count myself amongst those who are questioning) best served by sitting for hours in a synagogue, simply flipping pages, during this holiest of times?

A few caveats before I delve further.

1. I am a retired cantorial soloist whose job it was for over thirty years to facilitate these services and communal prayer experiences. High Holy Days were the most stressful time of the year simply because we knew that our "audience" was at peak attendance and it was our opportunity to engage those wayward souls who honestly and accurately describe themselves as "twice a year Jews." I am not at all naive about what brings people into synagogues and what keeps them away. 

2. God does play a part in my life, but as I get older I have found myself engaged in a much more rational, intimate, and personal conversation with the Divine Presence and a far less spiritual one. 

3. I am not a liturgically-uneducated person. I have spent years studying and understanding our services, the Hebrew and English texts, the order of our worship, and why we do what we do when we do it. 

4. Judaism is a religion that is dependant upon communal involvement for the completion of many mitzvot. A minyan, or quorum of 10, is required for public prayer and finds its roots in both Torah and Talmud.

"And I shall be sanctified in the midst of the children of Israel" (Lev 22:32)

"Separate yourselves from the midst of the congregation" (Numbers 16:21)

Additionally we find in the story of the ten spies who returned with negative reports about the land, Moses complains to Aaron:

"How long shall I bear with this evil congregation which murmur against me?" (Numbers 14:27)

Using a biblical exegesis known as gezerah shavah, whereby two or more verses with similar terminology are compared, the Talmud (Megillah 23b) has deduced that the minyan is required for communal prayer. So, if a minyan is a religious commitment, and I wish to be a religious Jew, how can I fully justify a decision to disengage from public prayer, (attending services) that no longer carries any emotional weight or spiritual meaning?

And so begins our discussion....

Herein lies my fundamental problem: I am having trouble finding purpose or spiritual fulfillment in the majority of service experiences of late, and that includes many of the ones that I have led. I have been fortunate to hear wonderful compliments from congregants over the years as to how my music has moved them to a higher plane and aided in their spiritual journeys, but my own personal divine pilgrimage has been frustratingly stunted when it is within the confines of the synagogue walls and prayer books. I have worked with and been involved with some tremendously creative rabbis and cantors over the years who have been on the cutting edge of synagogue worship experiences, so I am not stuck in any kind of worship rut. I have tried the experimental, the experiential, the natural, the playing it straight, and the study. At best I find myself fidgeting, at worst I am bored and disinterested. It used to be that I would let the music carry me away, but lately I simply cannot get engaged in a service. I love the music of our people and am most moved when it is eclectic, but I am finding my voice is often silent these days during traditional worship experiences.

Last year, on the second day of Rosh Hashana, The Husband and I took a hike and communed with nature rather than attend services. We did tashlich, blew the shofar, ate some apples and honey, and enjoyed the warm autumn morning. It was the closest to God I had felt in many years and hopefully we will get a chance to repeat the experience.

So, what is the answer?

Frankly I am stumped. Is removing myself from communal prayer the answer? I'm not convinced because as Jews we not only require brethren, we welcome them, we envelop ourselves in group worship so that we might attain a level of kadosh, holiness. So...I am opening the floor to suggestions and discussion.

Why I Am Choosing to Blog Elul.....Again.

I am generally not a fan of those positive affirmation messages that litter my social media. I'm certainly not criticizing those who post them, nor am I suggesting that the people who do post them aren't genuine believers in that which they are posting. It's just that the spiritual cynic in me can't abide self-help via Facebook.

For me, (and this is a strictly personal belief so please don't send me emails, posts, and comments calling me a defeatist bitch!) soul-searching and personal growth require a far more intensive thought process than can be gleaned from a photoshopped nature scene complete with an inspirational quote from the Dali Lama. I need to delve deeper into my psyche and creativity in order to discover that certain level of introspection, rejuvenation, and inspiration necessary for intimate growth. In short, I need to put in the work.

Belief in God is a tremendously personal experience. It is impossible to explain in any single blog post or conversation as to how or why The Divine Presence impacts an individual. I would never claim that I myself have a personal conversation with God. I honestly believe that espousing such a thing tends to come off as somewhat egocentric. (Hello Mike Huckabee!) My personal search for The Divine Spirit has led me on a path that is unearthed less through prayer and ritual, and more through discovering everyday brilliance, genius, and natural wonder. I am in awe of the painter who can perfectly capture a moment in time through her brushstrokes. I revel in the musician who can manipulate emotions through just the right chord patterns. I gaze with wonder upon the the dancer whose whole being is engulfed with fervour as he leaps for the stars. I marvel at the writer who can tell a story that is infused with both pain and passion. I see God in these moments and through their creativity I find meaning.

The month of Elul affords me the time I require for that personal introspection and reflection. It is my warm-up for the New Year that is rapidly approaching. It allows me to revel in those brilliances that I believe to be divinely-inspired, and it brings the philosophy of t'shuva, t'fillah, U'tzedakah, repentance, prayer, and charity into a clearer perspective. This is why I am once again choosing to participate in the daily exercise of blogging for the month.

Blog Elul is the brainchild of Rabbi Phyllis Sommer. (aka Ima on the Bimah) It is her way of engaging the social media world in introspective conversation for the month. Each day is assigned a specific prompting word that is a theme for the upcoming Yamim Noraim, High Holy Days. In past years, I have used the genius of Broadway musicals as my vehicle of expression. This year, I have decided to use what I consider brilliant film works to articulate each day's theme. It is surely a challenge, but it makes for a more intentional personal involvement and it allows me to revisit some of my all-time favourite films. The combination of pop culture with increased spiritual awakening feels very much me.

I hope that you will join me for the journey. The month of Elul begins this Sunday August 16th (we are not quibbling with the two day Rosh Chodesh-new month) and thus my first posting will appear then.

A quick caveat about spoiler alerts.

It is possible that you may not have seen the films from which I will be excising my clips and therefore you may wish not to be spoiled. (Some of the clips I have chosen come from climactic or final scenes.) That is your choice, but this is my one and only Spoiler Alert. Now it's up to you the reader. Let's call it personal responsibility, shall we? It is very in keeping with the time of year.

You can also follow my posts through my newly minted Facebook page. Just follow the link and like the page at the top. The updates will appear in your Facebook feeds. As well you can follow me and other Elul-involved bloggers on Twitter or Instagram using the hashtag #blogelul or #elulgram

See you Sunday.

On This Day...

A Personal Thought for the Day

To Whomever:

This year I have no answers. I have no great morsels of self-awareness to offer.

I only have questions. 

Questions that hang in the air like limp helium-deprived balloons. Questions that have banal and vapid responses. 

I don't expect replies. I no longer rely on certainty. I can no longer utter the words as rote. The only truth I know is that nothing is as it once was.

I can only hope to help repair the brokenness. Mine. Others. I can only hope that we all can find comfort and peace in our togetherness, in the intertwining of each other's lives.

I am working on my cynicism, on my overly judgemental nature. I am trying to reforge a path that leads me in a comforting direction. I am searching for new meanings, new rituals. I remain consoled by music and nature. I remain comforted by love.

I am a work in progress. 

Blog Elul Day 29-Return

This is the final Blog Elul post for the year. Thank you to everyone who followed and commented. I appreciated all of the feedback. May we all learn the lessons of Elul well, and may the new year bring health, happiness, and peace to all. Shana Tova U'metukah.


"The Holy One, blessed be God, said to Israel: 'My children, present to me a single opening of repentance, small like the eye of a needle, and I will open for you entrances through which wagons and carriages can pass.'" –Shir Hashirim Rabbah 5:3

"There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered."~Nelson Mandela

True repentance returns and renews our balance.

I Wish I Could Go Back to College (from Avenue Q) Music and Lyrics by Jeff Marx and Robert Lopez



**Blog Elul is the brainchild of Rabbi Phyllis Sommer. Her blog and various links can be found at http://imabima.blogspot.com

Blog Elul Day 28-Give

“Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth.”~Muhammad Ali

"Anticipate charity by preventing poverty; assist the reduced fellow man, either by a considerable gift or a sum of money or by teaching him a trade or by putting him in the way of business so that he may earn an honest livelihood and not be forced to the dreadful alternative of holding out his hand for charity. This is the highest step and summit of charity's golden ladder."~Maimonides

Music and the Mirror (from A Chorus Line) Music by Marvin Hamlisch; Lyrics by Edward Kleban



**Blog Elul is the brainchild of Rabbi Phyllis Sommer. Her blog and various links can be found at http://imabima.blogspot.com

Blog Elul Day 27-Intend

"Our Jewish path to inner awareness begins with kavanah. Our meditative lives as Jews could not be complete without it, for it is the steering wheel of all inner consciousness work."~Rabbi Zalman Schacter Shalomi

Prayer without intention is hollow and devoid of meaning.

My New Philosophy (from You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown) Music and Lyrics by Andrew Lippa

**Blog Elul is the brainchild of Rabbi Phyllis Sommer. Her blog and various links can be found at http://imabima.blogspot.com

Blog Elul Day 26-Hope

"Hope is that thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops... at all."~Emily Dickinson

Love begins with hope.

Gold (from Once) Music and Lyrics by Fergus O'Farrell



**Blog Elul is the brainchild of Rabbi Phyllis Sommer. Her blog and various links can be found at http://imabima.blogspot.com

Blog Elul Day 25-Begin

"All beginnings require that you unlock a new door."~Reb Nachman of Bratslav

“What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from.”~T.S. Eliot

Circle of Life (from The Lion King) Music by Elton John; Lyrics by Tim Rice



**Blog Elul is the brainchild of Rabbi Phyllis Sommer. Her blog and various links can be found at http://imabima.blogspot.com

Blog Elul Day 24-End

"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'."~Erma Bombeck

A life well-lived is not necessarily an ending, but rather a blueprint for beginnings.

I'm Still Here (from Follies) Music and Lyrics by Stephen Sondheim


**Blog Elul is the brainchild of Rabbi Phyllis Sommer. Her blog and various links can be found at http://imabima.blogspot.com

Blog Elul Day 23-Love

“Love is not blind - it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less.”~Rabbi Julius Gordon

Seasons of Love (from Rent) Music and Lyrics by Jonathan Larson



**Blog Elul is the brainchild of Rabbi Phyllis Sommer. Her blog and various links can be found at http://imabima.blogspot.com

Blog Elul Day 22-Dare

 “A person will be called to account on Judgement Day for every permissible thing he might have enjoyed but did not.”~ Talmud

A person's life cannot be considered complete until she steps up and takes chances to do those things which takes her out of her comfort zones.

"Because of our routines we forget that life is an ongoing adventure."~Maya Angelou

Don't Rain on My Parade (from Funny Girl) Music by Jule Styne; Lyrics by Bob Merrill



**Blog Elul is the brainchild of Rabbi Phyllis Sommer. Her blog and various links can be found at http://imabima.blogspot.com

Blog Elul Day 21-Change

"You change the world when you change your mind."~Cyndi Lauper (from Kinky Boots)

The Sex is in the Heel (from Kinky Boots) Music and Lyrics by Cyndi Lauper



**Blog Elul is the brainchild of Rabbi Phyllis Sommer. Her blog and various links can be found at http://imabima.blogspot.com

Blog Elul Day 20-Judge

"But repentance, prayer, and charity temper judgement's severe decree." (from U'netaneh tokef liturgy; High Holidays)

Sit Down You're Rockin' the Boat (from Guys and Dolls) Music and Lyrics by Frank Loesser



**Blog Elul is the brainchild of Rabbi Phyllis Sommer. Her blog and various links can be found at http://imabima.blogspot.com

Blog Elul Day 19-Ask

"Hillel taught...A person who is too shy to ask questions will never learn, and a teacher who is too strict cannot teach."~Pirkei Avot (2:5)

It is a moral imperative to never cease from asking questions and from discovering the wonders of the universe. If we become staid, unwilling to be critical, and too conservative in our thinking we fail ourselves and future generations.

All I Ask of You (from Phantom of the Opera) Music by Andrew Lloyd Webber; Lyrics by Charles Hart with additions by Richard Stilgoe



**Blog Elul is the brainchild of Rabbi Phyllis Sommer. Her blog and various links can be found at http://imabima.blogspot.com

Blog Elul Day 18-Pray

"The primary purpose of prayer is not to make requests. The primary purpose is to praise, to sing, to chant. Because the essence of prayer is a song, and man cannot live without a song. 

Prayer may not save us. But prayer may make us worthy of being saved.” ~Abraham Joshua Heschel

Our prayers are meaningful if they are said with intention and purpose. If they are merely requests for the material, they disappear into the ether.

I Say a Little Prayer (from Promises, Promises) Music by Burt Bacharach; Lyrics by Hal David




**Blog Elul is the brainchild of Rabbi Phyllis Sommer. Her blog and various links can be found at http://imabima.blogspot.com

Blog Elul Day 17-Awaken

“When two people relate to each other authentically and humanly, God is the electricity that surges between them.” ~ Martin Buber

The connection between two people can instantly awaken a presence that is both physical and spiritual. It is an experience that is profoundly human and mystically Divine all at once.

Touch Me (from Spring Awakening) Music and Lyrics by Duncan Sheik



**Blog Elul is the brainchild of Rabbi Phyllis Sommer. Her blog and various links can be found at http://imabima.blogspot.ca

Blog Elul Day 16-Change

"We must become the change we want to see in the world."~ Mahatma Gandhi

Change Don't Come Easy (from Memphis) Music by David Bryan; Lyrics by David Bryan and Joe DiPietro



**Blog Elul is the brainchild of Rabbi Phyllis Sommer. Her blog and various links can be found at http://imabima.blogspot.ca

Blog Elul Day 15-Learn

"Who is wise? One who learns from every man. As is stated (Psalms 119:99): From all my teachers I have grown wise, for Your testimonials are my meditation." Ben Zoma Pirkei Avot 4:1

The Talmud says that when you teach your son, you teach your son's son. The manner in which we instruct determines how and what they learn. If we are arrogant and impatient, our children become arrogant and impatient. But if we are compassionate, kind, and understanding, then they will develop wisdom to bequeath to the next generation.

Revolting Children (from Matilda:The Musical) Music and Lyrics by Tim Minchin



**Blog Elul is the brainchild of Rabbi Phyllis Sommer. Her blog and various links can be found at http://imabima.blogspot.ca