To Molly: As She Turns 3

Good Golly, Miss Molly,

Look at you, my Big Girl! 

Here you are today, three and so full of piss and vinegar, it is almost impossible to contain. Your mother calls you her "threen-ager." I kind of love that. It perfectly encapsulates the animating life force that is so strong within you. Some might call you stubborn but I prefer to see you as persistent and independent. Hold onto these traits, dear one. The world is not always kind to women who pursue their own paths but the strength of conviction you possess will change a lot of minds. Keep dancing like you don't care who is watching, keep singing with a full heart and full voice, and keep pushing limits, even when it might get you into a bit of trouble. 

This past year hasn't been easy and with any luck at all, the biggest blessing to come out of this worldwide misery is that you won't remember most of it. I credit much of that to the normalcy that your parents tried desperately to maintain in your everyday life. There has been a lot of sadness and stress in the world this year but your small corner of it has been mercifully less messed up than most. Even though this is your second birthday of the pandemic and family gatherings are still restricted, I have no doubt that the celebration will be exciting and fun because Mom and Dad will make it so. There are so many people that wish they could be with you today but circumstances being as they are means that Zoom and FaceTime now act as poor but necessary substitutes for in-person visits. It pains me that you have become such an expert FaceTimer but while I hate that the computer is often in our way, I thank God for its presence during these horrific lockdowns and separations. I can't even imagine what our lives would have been like this year without it. You have also been blessed with a wonderful preschool that has followed all Covid protocols and has, thus far, remained open throughout the entire year. You love going there and have made so many friends. It is unfortunate that you can't yet have playdates outside of school but watching you socialize with kids your own age and learning so much from such wonderfully caring teachers has been a special part of this year. I love seeing the excitement on your face when you run to the school door.

There are things that I desperately wish you never had to know about. Learning how to wear a mask is not a lesson I would have ever thought someone would have had to teach you. Having two Covid birthdays really sucks. Online learning for the last half of your first year in preschool was less than optimum, as was being forced inside for months at a time. I know that Mom and Dad were concerned about how all of this new normal might affect you but, to their immense credit, it seems to have had minimal effect. Watching you blow past us on your scooter last week made me realize that no matter how fragile we think kids are, you guys always surprise us with your learning abilities and resilience. 

It is easy to think about all of the things that we have missed this year, listing them would take two of these letters, but I am trying to be more focused on what we've been able to do together. We have lit Shabbat candles as an extended family every single week since this madness began and when travel became impossible, we invited Grandma and Grandpa to join us from Ohio. Watching you search the Zoom screen for your Uncle Daniel while totally ignoring the rest of us, has been a weekly joke. (I think he is secretly slipping you chocolate on the weekends.) Knowing that you are learning the blessings at school and trying to replicate them at home is lovely for this Jewish Bubby to witness. I hold onto the together times with a jealous ferocity, even though most have been online, because I refuse to sacrifice any of it to this misery. I can't wait for hugs, parties, reading, sleepovers, holidays, cooking lessons, jumping in puddles, sing-a-thons, snuggles,  treasure hunts, and movies to resume. I will never again take any of it for granted and I will cherish every single moment we spend together.

There are changes coming to your family this year. I know that some of them might seem jarring at first but all of it is great. You will be moving to a new home with wonderful new space and outdoor play areas. No worries. Mom, Dad, and Gus get to come too and so many people who love you will come to visit very soon. Change is the mechanism for growth and even though it might seem a bit scary, in August you will welcome a sibling. There is no relationship in a person's life that is as long lasting nor as intuitive as that of siblings. A sibling knows you from cradle to grave. If you play your cards right, she will be your best friend forever. She won't be the same as you and she might not like everything you like to do but she will love you unconditionally from her first breath and will depend on you to help guide her early on. She might play with your toys when you don't want her to or she might wear clothes that you have long since grown out of. There will be times when she will make you really angry. When the anger subsides, always forgive. Never stop talking to each other and understand your differences. A bit of jealousy is normal but the love you will feel for her will overtake it. Go with that emotion. It is stronger and should win out. It is a big responsibility but also a great gift. Be gentle, understanding, supportive, and non-judgemental. It will take some time to develop the relationship but it is my dearest hope that it will be deep-rooted and enduring. Honestly, the idea of you as a big sister tickles and thrills me all at the same time.

There is a lot going on right now. It is a lot to digest for most grown-ups, let alone a girl of three. You keep being you and the outside stuff will hopefully take care of itself. If the world becomes a bit too much for you to handle every now and then, Zoom chat with Bubby and we'll sing, dance, or read together. And very soon, we will do it ALL in person. 

Happy Birthday, my heart. 

May it be fun, exciting, filled with balloons, cake and lots of treats.

Love you to the moon and back again.

Love,

Bubby