It was at this time, almost exactly a year ago, that I began my personal CoVid panic.
We were still at The Southern Home with the expectation that we would have another month or so in the sun. We were aware of the awfulness emanating from China and Italy and we were justifiably horrified, but we pushed all thoughts of a pandemic to the farthest recesses of our minds. It simply couldn't happen here, could it? Certainly not in the most sophisticated and medically competent regions on the planet.
That Friday evening, a full year ago today, we had an outdoor Shabbat barbeque with some friends. It was then that I suggested that this new disease seemed different from other viruses that we had lived through in recent years. Unlike AIDS or Ebola, this sickness seemed closer and more casually infectious. Even to us Torontonians who had lived through the SARS epidemic, this new ailment seemed so very foreign and external. I was chided for my overreaction and gently ribbed about my default panic response. It is true, I do tend to skew towards anxiety and trepidation but this time it felt different.
A few days later, as the images from overseas rose to the top of every newscast and website, we had a patio lunch at a South Florida restaurant in order to wish a bon voyage to a dear couple leaving for a 90-day cruise. It was the last time I ate in a restaurant and the last time I had a meal with anybody other than my immediate family. That same afternoon, I had a long conversation with my brother back home in Toronto and we agreed it was time to get my parents home. There was talk of border closings and flight cancellations and we needed to be proactive. I immediately went to their place, booked them flights to come home three days later, and went to pack. The Husband and I left South Florida the next day and the world was forever changed.
There has been a lot written about the people we have lost and the things that have forever been altered. Every single person on the planet has had to find their own way to slog through a shitload of misery. But as we enter into year two of this craziness, I have been giving some serious thought to things that really matter but I previously took for granted.
1. Hugs. I know that everyone isn't a hugger and some people are averse to serious hugging but human contact is fundamental to our well-being. When you can't have a hug, you really want one. I really want one...or many.
2. Smiles. Masks cover-up smiles. Smiles from strangers at the grocery store or from a small child at a playground. We have learned to recognize smiling eyes. It will be great to see great big toothy smiles again.
3. Walking. Who would have thought that it would take quarantine and stay-at-home orders for people to start walking again? Even in the most suburban and car-friendly locations, pedestrianism is the new driving. Let's hope it continues.
4. Dinners with friends and family. I am not much of a restaurant-goer but I do miss the socialization of dinners with people I love. There were a few of those in the summer with our immediate family bubble but they once again disappeared into the ether when we reentered lockdown in November. When this is all over, I will try and say yes to every single invitation and host more than my share of events. I don't want to miss any more good times with loved ones.
5. A really good pair of socks. With all the walking and exercise we've been getting, a good pair of sturdy and water-resistant socks is essential. I have often stated how much I hate socks. I was wrong. Socks matter. I bought some great ones recently and I can't tell you how much they've changed my life.
6. Hobbies. The breadth and depth of new hobbies have been inspiring. I've seen people take up cooking, baking, sewing, knitting, jigsaw puzzles, jogging, photography, gardening, bread-making, cycling, birding, and the list just keeps on growing. In the absence of group activities, hobbies that take you away from your everyday work, are so very important. They challenge the mind and keep the body engaged. Acquiring new hobbies is an underrated benefit of this pandemic.
7. Group Singing. Yes, I have been a part of those pre-recorded Zoom choirs and yes, it does fill a certain void, but there is absolutely nothing that compares with a group of people singing together. There is simply no way to do this in real-time across the internet and it sucks. Singing with people induces endorphins and brings disparate groups of people together. I desperately want to sing with people in the same space again.
8. Birthdays. I have never been a huge birthday person. It happens every year and I tend to move on but this year has made me realize that every birthday and anniversary is worth celebrating. Some of us are moving closer to a second Covid birthday. How crappy is that? I had a conversation recently with my Other Dad and he told me that he wants to host a huge birthday party when this is all over. Everybody gets a cake. Everybody gets balloons. We've all earned it.
9. Phone Calls. I am a terrible phone friend. I prefer texting and emailing. I simply don't chat well and the phone demands it, but the pandemic has made the contact of the human voice necessary. It doesn't have to be every day or even every week but phone calls or Zoom visits have been an important part of my continued good mental health.
10. Jewish Ritual. Pre-pandemic, I never thought twice about the rituals on which I was raised. Funeral attendance, shiva visits, rejoicing with bride and groom, caring for the sick, communal prayer, Passover seders, Shabbat candle-lightings, have all been altered or abandoned this year. It has been soul-crushing. The idea of a second Pesach with an online seder is sad beyond belief but I am more determined than ever to make it work. I hope others feel the same because without that connection to our rituals we have become Jewish shells with no substance.
There is a glimmer of light on the horizon and there is a real chance that some of the things we've lost will come back in the next few months but I will never again take them for granted. I am interested in what things really matter to you that you previously took for granted. Please add them to the comment section or hit me up on Facebook.
Shabbat Shalom to all who observe.
So well said and writtein
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