Reclaiming Shabbat

On Rosh Hashana morning, my rabbi at "Temple Sings all the Time and Won't Shut Up" spoke so eloquently of the demands that we place on ourselves in our daily routines, and the tethers that we choose to bind us to our technology. He challenged us as individuals and as a congregation to find new and modern ways to reclaim Shabbat; to find a bit of peace on that most sacred of days that speak to us in a modern context. He wasn't asking for greater synagogue participation (although that certainly would be nice), nor was he asking us to refrain and abstain with Halachic imperatives. Instead he was asking us to find meaning in Shabbat that would be relevant to each of us in a modern world, and then to share those experiences with the community.

Over the years, The Husband and I have attempted to find a balance for Shabbat. Often that has meant attendance at services or Torah study. Sometimes it means just sleeping in on Saturday morning. We have attempted to refrain from shopping and making appointments on the day, and a "Shabbos nap" is often a moral imperative. These small changes have allowed us to decompress from the craziness of the week, but we are both realists. Sometimes the outside world intrudes, and one or both of us finds ourselves enmeshed with frustratingly picayune tasks that we would love to leave until after the day, but cannot for whatever reason deems. When our rabbi delivered his sermon, I inherently knew he was speaking to me. How could I, in some small way, reclaim Shabbat for myself?

The Shabbat between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur, Shabbat Shuva, is one of the most difficult of the year for me. The exhaustion associated with the services of Rosh Hashana still lingers, and the preparations for the next Holy Day are intense. The business of synagogues doesn't shut down at the Holy Days. It is just gearing up! Meetings, preparations, rehearsals, new members events, B'nai Mitzvah, Sukkot, Simchat Torah....all require attention during these ten days. I have come to cherish this particular Shabbat, but unfortunately it is more often than not, a working day for me. This year, The Husband and I decided to take part of this day and do something just for us. We are spending our Friday evening not in the synagogue, but rather at a downtown club with friends listening to local musicians interpret the music of John Prine. (I love John Prine's music!) When we first arranged the date I have to admit that the idea of going on a Friday evening discomfited me tremendously. This is not the way I am used to spending Kabbalat Shabbat. But the more that I thought about it and the more that I delved into my rabbi's sermon, the more comfortable I became with the idea. I cannot think of a more appropriate Shabbat activity. I will be nourished artistically, spiritually, musically, and I will be surrounded by friends whom I adore. I will unplug, disconnect, relax, and honour the day of Shabbat with oneg (joy) and menucha (rest). Really, what could be more in keeping with the day?

I love this idea of reclaiming Shabbat, but I also need to say that I am a firm believer that the synagogue offers many outlets for doing just that. Try a Torah study when you drop your kids off for religious school instead of directly running out of the building. (Breakfast is included!!) Take in a family service or two with your kids. Come to a community Shabbat dinner with your family. These programs can offer gateways to more meaningful Shabbat observance. And then....try a hike on Shabbat afternoon, or settling in with a good book, or a video game with your sons. Or maybe....a visit to the Prine Shrine music night downtown. It just might nurture body and soul.

Chai!

***For those who asked and for those who could not be there, here are the remarks that I gave this past Shabbat when I was so needlessly and unnecessarily honoured for my work at Temple "Sings All The Time and Won't Shut Up" The names have been removed to protect the guilty*** 

When the powers that be informed me (not asked, but informed) that they planned to mark the end of my "Chai" anniversary at synagogue "Sings all the Time and Won't Shut Up" with an honouring service, my first reaction was nausea. Truly. Pit of the stomach, gut-wrenching, visceral motion-sickness like waves of repulsion. You see, this kind of event is so outside of my comfort zone that it truly meant that my body was screaming at me from within "Run away!! Run Fast!!" And while I obviously could not avoid this evening, I still cannot for the life of me figure out why this kind of human worship was necessary. For those who do not know me well, they might find it shocking that I am actually incredibly shy and extraordinarily uncomfortable with these types of PDAs. (That's Public Displays of Affection for all of you who weren't raised in the 70s and 80s.) It is easier for me to stand up and sing in front of thousands than it is to sit still and listen to somebody publicly extoll my limited virtues. That said, I thank all of you who are present for this event-both those who were in the room and those who have contacted me personally and privately.

It is impossible to reduce 18 years into a few sentences. I was truly stuck on how to convey to all of you-you who have become my family-the depth of my emotion and appreciation for allowing me to be a small part of this great "Sings all the Time and Won't Shut Up" experiment. A friend suggested that I deliver it as if I were writing a blog post, so I have decided to shamelessly steal her idea and hence I present you with my Top Ten favourite things-in no particular order-about being the Cantorial Soloist here at Temple "Sings all the Time and Won't Shut Up".

1. I cannot get you people to shut up. Seriously. You sing all the time. You sing when I ask you to and when I ask you not to. You sing my parts, your parts, the rabbi's parts, the choir's parts, the cello parts, the oboe parts-you sing it all. If I explain to you that a certain prayer like the Ashrei is designed to be antiphonal, you throw your heads back, laugh maniacally at the mere suggestion, and sing it all anyway. I kind of love that about you. 
2. In 18 years I have NEVER EVER EVER attended a board meeting. I'm quite proud of that record. Thank you to all of the presidents over the years who have inherently understood that I would much rather just shut up and sing.
3. Every single music person in this congregation-from each individual member of the choir, to its directors, to the musicians, to the song leaders and music teachers-does what they do as a true labour of love to both the music and the prayer it influences. I cannot begin to count the number of hours that these people have dedicated, the time they have taken away from their families, the work that they have invested, all in the name of making this place the haven for Jewish music and prayer that it has become. And...they have done it all without complaint. Ok-that last part was a slight exaggeration, but I do hope that they all know how I feel about them and their dedication to the task at hand. 
4. I love that our kids walk around carrying and playing guitars, want to learn how to song lead, want to teach music in our school, and become musical role models for the generation coming up behind them. My all-time favourite service of the year is the Second Day Rosh Hashana morning where all of our songleaders join me in leading our congregation in a kind of mass High Holiday jam session. I love the effect of what this L'dor Vador experience-from generation to generation-has had on this community. And when I look at the leaders that many of them have grown to be within our midst, I do feel a small amount of pride. And....yes this is a pitch to get you all to come to that service next Tuesday morning; to participate in a truly unique Temple "Sings all the Time and Won't Shut Up" experience. 
5. I am so grateful that this place has allowed me to be me. Let's face it. I am nobody's classic idea of a cantor or even a cantorial soloist. I sing alto and sometimes struggle with those upper register notes. I am not well-schooled in traditional chazzanut-although I am always learning-and I carry some degree of suspicion towards cantorial concertizing. Instead, I am the one who slings a twelve-string over my shoulder, stomps my feet in an attempt to entice participation, yells from the bimah not to clap on the "One and Three", and encourages you to sing your mistakes loudly and boldly so that you will learn from them. Not your Zaidy's cantor to be sure. Yet, this wonderfully weird place has not only accepted my idiosyncrasies, it has encouraged them and allowed them to flourish. And for those of you who still don't understand the "one and three" thing....well.....you're learning too.
6. And along the same lines...I love that you all have allowed this not quite five foot tall woman to sometimes sit cross-leggged on a bimah chair when my feet don't reach the floor and you have accepted it with bemused discussion, rather than scolding condescension, and that you have allowed me on occasion, to sing in bare feet from up there. Talk about an accepting group. You might see more of that this High Holidays. I am rather hating wearing shoes these days.
7. I know that I mentioned the choir and its leader and musicians earlier on in this diatribe, but we are getting to the Oscars/Emmy/Grammy/Tony acceptance speech that I will most likely never deliver, (one can always hope!) so I need to thank these people directly. This group defines the ideal of Shiru L'Adonai-Singing to God. They are not now and never will be my back-up. They stand on their own feet-barefoot if they wish-and have constantly amazed me with their talents, their support, their love for Jewish music, their willingness to learn and tackle the most advanced pieces, and their dedication to this Kehillah Kedosha! J-words alone do not do justice to express how I feel about our musical journey together. You are my right arm, my best and most honest critic, my partner in this madness and most importantly, my friend. Love!!
8. Every rabbi with whom I have had the distinct privilege and true honour to share this bimah has been incredibly supportive, wildly open to my musical experimentation, actively involved in what happens on this side of the aisle, and has been a true teacher, mentor, and friend. I am reminded of the passage in Pirkei Avot that tells us Asei L'cha Rav u'keneh l'cha chaver-Go and Find for yourself a teacher and make of him or her your friend. I have had and continue to have, incredible teachers and even better friends. No amount of thanks is sufficient to repay the debt I owe these phenomenal people. Rabbis W-A, G, S, and M have shown me that the Divine presence truly does dwell in this place.
9. To my parents-all of them-who have never missed a music night, recital, holiday program, or service-unless they are in some place like Bangalore, Tibet, Shanghai, or cruising the South Pacific; and even then they want me to Skype them in-they are my biggest fans, my most ardent supporters, and my best friends. When people ask me how I got into this bizarre line of work, I answer boldly that it is their fault. Both of my passions of Jewish lifelong learning and music came from them and the love that they instilled in me. So I place the blame for these last 18 years squarely on their shoulders. You could say that Temple "Sings all the Time, and Won't Shut Up" has allowed my parents to see the fulfillment of their dreams. 
10. When The Husband and I decided to leave the place that we had both called home for most of our lives, it was done with careful thought, some pain, a few tears, and difficult discussions. The leaving was the issue, not where we would be landing. Temple "Sings all the Time and Won't Shut Up"embraced our family as if we had been one of you for years. This place is home and that will not change. I love that The Husband and sons have been allowed their own space here and allowed the room to grow into whatever type of Judaism that fits their needs, independent of my work here. The men in my life have had to put up with a great deal. I am not always the easiest person to live with-especially around the holidays. They are the most amazing people I know. I love and adore you all-even when I am in my pre-Rosh Hashana, PMS-like cycle and it seems like I am an escapee from an asylum. You are my heart, my soul, my breath, and my voice. I am silent without you. And as I watch them all squirm as they hear this I say to each of them....too bad. If I had to go through this so did you!

So now--we do what we do best. We sing. The song is based on the words of Rav Hillel who famously said Im ayn Ani Li Mi Li...If I am not for myself who will be for me.....U'ch-se-ani l'atzmi ma-ani...If I am only for myself, what am I....V'im lo achshav ei-ma-tai...And if not now when?

I sing with my voice and in the voice of my people....

Phoenix Rises

A quick final post before we head home tomorrow. This has been a remarkable trip. Not just because of what we have seen and experienced, but because of how it all made us feel. There was a restlessness that was palpable with both of us. Maybe it was the routine of everyday life or maybe it was just busy schedules that haven't allowed us to slow down and take a break. Maybe life's stresses were weighing heavily upon us both. Whatever the reasons, this ten day field trip has allowed us to reconnect with each other, (over a thousand miles in a car together will have that effect) and to live without pressures, schedules, or clocks. And....the sites were pretty awesome too. It is without irony that we are ending here in Phoenix, although the rising from the ashes stuff does make a nice bookend for our trip.

We drove from Sedona this morning and headed straight for the Musical Instruments Museum. I know! It sounds incredibly geekish, but the place came highly recommended by several very diverse sources. It was astounding. We figured that we would be in and out in about 2 hours, but we lingered for closer to four. What a great place. Interactive, constantly in motion, and great fun. I kept thinking about my friend The Beatles Fan and how much he would enjoy it. In his honour I will post a couple of great shots that The Husband took for me.

And so tomorrow we head back east, but not before we show gratitude for being afforded this tremendous opportunity. Thanks to all who held the world together back home for us. When the time comes, we will do the same for you.

One last thing......if there is one constant theme that kept arising in our conversations these past ten days it is that just like Jonathan Larsen wrote in Rent, "There's no day like today." Life is far too short and fragile to put off for tomorrow what you really want to make happen now. This trip has been talked about for over five years. We finally got off of our asses and pushed to make it happen. There will always be reasons not to do something. Instead find the reasons to do it. Everybody needs a reboot now and then. In the immortal words of Nike (the shoe company, not the god) "Just Do it!"

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A Pre-Shabbat Hike

Shabbat Shalom to all who observe. We spent a wonderful pre-Shabbat at Red Rock Crossing in the Coconino National Forest so that we might hike the trails and climb up to the notch to get the best view of Cathedral Rock.

We hiked for more than four hours and over seven miles. Who knew that us old folks still had that in us? We crossed creeks in our shoes, climbed steep inclines to the some of the best views we have seen, (and that is saying a great deal) chatted with fellow hikers, and just flat-out had a great day. There is tremendous serenity in the natural beauty given to us. There is no doubt in my mind that we are all charged with protecting this precious gift.

We were dirty,dusty, and tired, but ever so content.

We meandered down to the creek upon our return, and decided to just chill a bit with the hundreds of ducks that seem to call this place home. They were in full-throated quack mode. I joked with The Husband that they all seemed to be getting ready to sing L'cha Dodi with us to help welcome Shabbat.

A few more quicks hits from our time here in Sedona.

The cicadas are positively orchestral in their chants.

There is a great deal of New Age stuff around here, but it is surprisingly non-judgemental. The locals seem perfectly comfortable with the skeptics like me.

The peace that I am feeling today is making this a pure Shabbat Shalom. We will be sorry to leave Sedona tomorrow, but look forward to the final leg of our trip in Phoenix.

 

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Pink Jeep!

A few thoughts from today in Sedona.

As I sit here gazing out at the Red Rocks from our hotel balcony, I am struck by the tremendous order that has seemingly grown out of chaos. It reminds me of days from long ago. Did any of your kids ever experiment with Play Doh? All of those bright colours packaged in individual containers, coursing with vibrancy. Until your three year old got his hands on them and squished it all together into one awesome creation. That Is what these rock formations remind me of. Colours and shapes that seem random, yet come together in such a way as to provide the viewer with a tremendous sense of the mysteries of the universe.

I went off-roading in the rocks today. Anybody who knows me well will certainly ask the question, "And so Dawn.....Did you puke?" The answer is a happy and unqualified no, although my ass does feel a bit like it was given three years of birthday whacks simultaneously. We did a two hour jeep tour of the scenic rim and ascended an additional two thousand feet to the top of the Mongollon Rim. Our guide Mike from Pink Jeep Tours was wildly entertaining and so patient with all of us newbies to the area. The panoramic views were astounding, although a wrong foot placed here or there.....well I will leave that image up to the sick imaginations of you, my readers.

It poured late this afternoon and it didn't at all dampen anything that I am feeling about this incredible place. In fact, the rain gave the rocks a whole new pallette of colour.

I have just about run out of adjectives. How else to say...beautiful, glorious, awe-inspiring, stunning, gorgeous. Help me out. Get out your thesaurus and find me some new words. Post them here or on my Facebook page. I have a few more days of blogging to take care of for this trip.

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Red Rocks are Life Affirming

I have to say that I am rebooting my relationship with The Divine One on this trip. It is easy to get complacent about faith in my line of work. Too often I find myself stuck in the rut of page turning; willing the prayer to be over so that we might move on to the next. It comes with the job. How does the facilitator of prayer find meaning in the prayer for herself? The answer is neither simplistic nor is it single-layered. But, I do know that part of the solution for me is to see natural beauty in ways that it has heretofore been hidden. Today was one of those days.

Following a quiet and serene six hour drive from Santa Fe, we coasted into Sedona Arizona. (Not before we realized, of course, that we are now on Pacific time and lost another hour. It certainly helped to explain the discrepancies with Hannah our surly GPS! Never argue with a machine. It is a losing battle.) The Husband has been so excited about this leg of the trip because he booked us into the most magnificent resort imaginable. This is the view from our private cottage balcony.

 

And here is a quick look at part of the grounds.

 

It makes digging myself out of my spiritual quagmire a bit easier when I can see those views every hour of every day for a while. Tomorrow we will delve deeper into the Red Rocks of Sedona.

Baruch atah Adonai Eloheinu Melech ha-olam. She-kacha lo b'olamo.

Blessed are you Adonai our God Ruler of the universe, who has given us this in the world.

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Georgia....Finally!

The Husband has taken to spending copious amounts of his time poking fun at me because of my great desire to see Georgia O' Keeffe country. And while it is true that this lifelong dream was part of the impetus for this trip, it wasn't the only reason that I wished to travel to this part of the United States. That said, today was the day that I finally got to spend with Georgia and her genius.

I suppose that one of the reasons that I so admire the lady and her work is because she was a true original who refused to ever be pigeonholed or typecast. She reviled critics and others who saw hidden meanings in her paintings, and just when they thought that they had her pegged she reversed course. Flowers became rivers, rivers became mesas, mesas became mountains. And through it all, it was her intense love for nature and its beauty that brought her to finally settle permanently here in Northern New Mexico where she is a revered icon.

Georgia was a feminist before feminism was in vogue. She lived life her way and never questioned whether or not it was true or proper. And on top of all of that, she was one of the true art treasures of the 20th century. Being here in Santa Fe, it has become so clear to me; the beauty she saw in the place and why painting these landscapes was so vital to her work. So, if traveling here allowed me to spend time with this magnificent artist, then I will happily accept the good-natured ribbing from The Husband.




A few more highlights of the day. Santa Fe is a remarkable city. Adobe architecture is the norm and makes for a visual feast. Even the local Best Buy is housed in an adobe building.

The plaza in the heart of the city is a historical landmark that dates back to the Spanish and Mexican occupations. It is the bustling heart of this town, where native vendors come to sell their artwork and jewelry.

A few hours were well spent at the International Folk Art Museum. Peasant art from around the world is displayed in a stunningly beautiful architectural marvel that is nestled at the foot of the surrounding mountains.

Hannah, our surly Aussie GPS, is getting quite obnoxious. Today she took us off-road just for the hell of it. If you have never navigated dirt trails in a Ford Focus, you just haven't lived.

More from the "Are you f*#%ing with me or did you really name your kid that?" file....Canyon! Not Kenyon, Canyon!! Kind of fits with Blackjack, yes? And then there was baby Silas. Yes, I realize the biblical roots, but it still strikes me as odd.

Tomorrow from Sedona......

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