Odetta: A Memorial

This has been a difficult year for us counter-culture types. We have seen many of our legends depart. Odetta was a pioneer of the folk movement, whose bluesy-folkie style influenced the likes of Belafonte and Dylan. A tremendous talent and a voice blessed from above. Enjoy Odetta!

Twas Three Weeks Before

With true apologies to Clement Moore, I offer my own little version of his holiday poem. My only request is that if you pass this on, please give me credit.  I really did write it!

Twas three weeks before solstice, and all over the earth,

People were hoping for a modicum of mirth.

With happiness tarnished, and nerves being frayed

By the loss of life-savings and 401Ks.

Investors were hopeful that something was ready

Perhaps a big bailout like Fannie and Freddie's?

But ma in her kerchief knew what was quite real

That only a car maker gets such a deal!

When out in the real world there rose such a clatter,

The dumbasses in office couldn't handle the matter.

On Sussex they blustered with more of the same

And dicked around playing political games.

They smirked and they name-called, each in their turn

And proverbially fiddled while watching Rome burn.

And south of the border, the lame-duck in chief

Just threw up his hands in stunned disbelief.

He'd nothing of substance to say to the mob,

He believes that they're doing "A Heckuva Job".

And, anyway he has a task that's more fun

It's pardoning season in old Washington!

And quick as a flash he wondered aloud

"Who should I pardon in this motley crowd?"

"There's Rummy and Dick and Alberto pre-emptive,

And Marion Jones seems very redemptive!"

"And what should I do about Scooter so steady,

He really has suffered a great deal already!"

"And though we all know that your stars' clearly fell

A sign of my name will erase all that smell."

"For 50 more days I will do as I wish,

And truly believe it's been "Mission Accomplished!"

But, out in the distance a small ray of hope,

That made us believe that we might really cope.

A man who is smart and steady and wise

Survived an election in spite of the lies.

He's already shown that he will not tarry

We really do like this Barack once named Barry!

His stride is with confidence, his thoughts they are deep

 Tries not to make promises he surely can't keep.

His words they are measured and honestly even,

He needs to come north and give lessons to Stephen.

He knows it is tough, this task he has taken,

But the people won't feel as though they're forsaken.

As he and his family prepare to move in,

Perhaps world healing can finally begin.

Perhaps we can stop all the madness around

And seek some solutions that might be profound.

Start taking some care with the world so entrusted,

And start fixing up some of the stuff that's been busted!

It can't all be done in 4 or 8 years,

But a start is a start to allay a few fears.

And so I proclaim in this season of fest,

Let's look to the future and hope for the best!

A Five Senses Guide to December.

I know it is here. I can see it. The dusting of white stuff that invaded last evening is proof positive that it is here. (Although in fairness to Old Lady Nature, it could have been a whole lot worse!) The malls scream December. The tinsel, green and red ornaments and ubiquitous trees are everywhere. (If you search really hard you might spot the hidden dreydl!) Rotund men in red velvet suits are now suffering their end of the year indignities; leaky diapers, screaming toddlers, frazzled parents and elves clad in green spandex. Outdoor lighting displays, while dazzling, are defying the principles of conservation. (We here in Toronto are preparing to pay for plastic grocery bags, but God forbid we should address the energy hogs of the holiday season!) Parking lots have become a bizarre game of "Who can Spot the Spot?" Crowds jostle and push and cuss, in strange contrast to the ideals of the season. Television has become of dumping ground of holiday specials, concerts, movies and animation. (Rudolph and Frosty haven't aged a day and Linus is still teaching Charlie Brown the true meaning of Christmas!) Yes, I can certainly see December.

I know it is here. I can feel it. My bones ache from the dampness, sudden chills and below zero temperatures. There aren't enough layers of clothing to keep me warm. My body is screaming for its daily dose of Vitamin D in order to combat my SADs. I require light and warmth. There is now a channel on the satellite that simulates a crackling fire, (Really! All it is, is a virtual burning fire that is never consumed. A sort of holiday version of the burning bush!) and I find this strangely nourishing. I crave comfort foods like soups and stews and casseroles and I don't even eat or like stews or casseroles! I force myself to exercise to stave off packing on the pounds in preparation for hibernation. I push myself out of the house in a desperate attempt to stay sane. I have begun to count down the hours rather than the days until my migration south. Yes, I can certainly feel December.

I know it is here. I can smell it. There is never as much pine in the air as there is in December. Even artificial trees are sprayed with some ungodly odour that better simulates Pine-Sol than pine tree. Ginger, cloves, allspice and peppermint are prevalent in the bakeries. (Doesn't anybody like gingerbread at any other time of the year?) Starbucks has strange coffee menu items like Gingersnap Lattes and Peppermint Mocha Twist. Cooking and baking is happening everywhere. The local supermarkets reek with a variety of  food odours that they are trying to entice the public to purchase. Perfume is prevalent as people head out into the party scene. I am overcome by the pungency of the diesel, as snow plows and salt trucks make their way through the neighbourhoods. I can also smell the panic, the fear, and the desperation as shoppers attempt to find that one missing item on their lists. Yes, I can certainly smell December.

I know it is here. I can taste it. The deep-fried rancidness of the latkes is already in my mouth and I haven't had one yet. People who would never touch a doughnut during the rest of the year, are suddenly charmed by their delectability when we rename them sufganiyot for the holiday.  Peppermint is added to everything. Hershey's kisses were never meant to include candy canes! (Strangely enough-I kind of like these!) What exactly is allspice and why must it be added to my tea? I realize that I am a Jew, but can somebody explain the attraction and taste of fruitcake or eggnog? I mean check out the ingredients for this brew and tell me that anybody actually likes it.

4 egg yolks

1/3 cup sugar, plus 1 tablespoon

1 pint whole milk

1 cup heavy cream

3 ounces bourbon

1 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg

4 egg whites

I can actually feel my arteries hardening! I am convinced that the bourbon is there for the sole purpose of anesthetizing the tastebuds! December eating is the atomic bomb of healthy consumption. Yes, I can certainly taste December

I know it is here. I can hear it. Christmas carols (and let us be honest, that is what they are- not holiday songs!) are everywhere. Radio stations give up their entire December format to Christmas. Stores play Jingle Bells so often that you can actually see a glazed-over look of submission from the employees. Big-name entertainers suddenly appear on every TV show hawking their latest holiday albums. I truly believe that the world would have gotten along just fine without "A Twisted Christmas", Twisted Sister's musical take on the season. The smart thing to do is to play last year's offerings and wait for January to purchase the soon-to-be bargain bin items from this year. Channukah is not ignored. I Have a Little Dreydl has become a December staple. (Channukah actually has some terrific music and if you are interested in some ideas, please contact me and I will put you onto some exciting new sounds that aren't all about latkes and dreydls!!) December is filled with the sounds of sleigh bells ringing and horns honking. Voices singing and voices swearing. Wrapping paper tearing and waistbands expanding. Yes, I can certainly hear December.

I realize that much of this sounds cynical. December should be a time of family gatherings and religious observance. (I have mine and you all can have yours!) It should be a time of looking back on the old and embracing the new. It should be, but clearly it isn't. It has become about consumption and greed, about frenzied spending and bottom-lines. It has become about gluttony and overindulgence. December fills my senses, but I think that it is time to get sensible about December.

Marley and BJ and Me!

It has been almost 4 years since our beloved and semi-maniacal yellow lab BJ died. It took me a long time to feel like his presence was no longer in the house. (not to mention his hair!) Several months after his death, the husband presented me with a book that had just come out and rocketed to the top of the bestseller's list entitled Marley and Me. Author John Grogan had detailed life with a big, goofy yellow lab that sounded much like my previous 12 years with BJ. I spent the next 24 hours voraciously devouring this charming, hysterical and poignant little gem of a book. I literally laughed out loud, blubbered like a baby, and I felt like BJ had brought me to Marley to help with the healing. (I realize that this doesn't sound much like the cynical personality that I have worked so very hard to cultivate, but I swear to you, that is what it felt like!) Since that time, I have lent and recommended Marley to all my friends and family, especially those who have had to deal with the loss of a beloved pet.

Last winter, came word that Marley and Me was being made into a movie and that the filming was happening all over the South Florida area where we visit. Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson stepped into the parts of John and his wife and many an ADHD yellow lab assumed the role of Marley. The husband and I were actually fortunate enough to accidently bump into some of the location scouting in North Miami. The movie opens Christmas Day and I cannot wait to see BJ (oops Marley!) again. Check out the hilarious trailer.

If you haven't yet had the opportunity to read the book-I encourage you to do so. If not-support the movie. I hope that you enjoy! Check out my own Marley! BJ-this one is for you!!

P.S. Sound of Music trivia still open. Get those answers in, folks!

The Hills Are Definitely Alive!

I had planned on regaling you all this morning with a solid review of the wondrous Toronto production of  The Sound of Music. I had planned on acknowledging my reality-show bias and skepticism, and sheepishly admitting my error. The young woman who was chosen by the votes of the country to play Maria is radiant, with a voice that can only be described as phenomenal. (She is SO young, but the age difference between her and her "Captain", and her and the children is realistic to the real-life Maria.) The staging is brilliant and the children were terrific. My only complaint was with the young actress portraying Liesl, the eldest daughter. She is obviously at least 10 years older than her "16 going on 17" character and she looked older than Maria. It also played havoc with the age difference between her and the young boy (maybe age 14) playing the oldest brother. She could have been his mother! Yes, I had planned on giving you a full review, complete with some Sound of Music trivia, but I have been sidelined by a necessary rant on theatre-going etiquette. (Ok. If you continue to the end of this post you will find some SofM trivia. Cheap prize to the first in with all of the correct answers. By the way-GOOGLING IS CHEATING!!!!)

As I have previously stated, I absolutely love going to the theatre. There is something thrilling and magical about the entire experience. The sets, the costumes, the orchestra, the live performance-I love it all. But, there are times when I truly wish that I could have this experience without the rest of the audience. When did theatre goers forget their manners? When did it occur, that payment for a ticket gave one a license for rudeness? I thought that I had seen it all, but apparently I was mistaken. PEOPLE!! We have obligations as an audience. We have etiquette that needs to be observed. Hence, I offer a short list of dos and don'ts for the average theatre goer. 

• Do come on time. There is nothing worse than interrupting the performers on stage and the audience members around you with your inability to read a clock. Traffic is terrible and food at a restaurant can sometimes be delayed, so give yourself extra time. If I have to stand in the middle of a song one more time to allow a boorish latecomer to pass to a seat, I may commit an illegal act.
• Do turn off your cell phone! What? You think that all of those announcements at the beginning of the play are for everybody except you? If you simply cannot afford to miss that important call or simply cannot be out of contact with your babysitter, then my suggestion is that you simply don't come! I paid a pretty penny to watch the play, not listen to your telephone conversation. Several years ago I was in New York on a Broadway weekend and I had the good fortune to nab tickets to Golda's Balcony, an incredible one-woman show starring Tovah Feldshuh. In the middle of Golda debating the pros and cons of the Yom Kippur war, some asshole's phone rang. Ms Feldshuh, being the true professional that she is, stopped in the middle of her monologue, put her head on the table and waited a good five minutes until the dick in the audience switched off his ringer. It was incredible to watch, and once she had collected her thoughts, she once again returned to the character. Cell phones and live theatre do not mix!
• Do show your appreciation with laughter and applause, but please don't sing along with the actors on stage. I get it. I know all of the lyrics too, but I paid to hear the professionals, not you. When Maria breaks into her chorus of Do-Re-Mi, please refrain from exercising your vocal abilities.
• Do bring your children. I love watching the faces of young people totally enthralled by their first big theatre experience. The theatre needs new blood and cannot survive if we don't teach our kids. That said, children need to understand that they are not in a movie theatre. There isn't any popcorn, it is inappropriate to put their feet on the seats in front of them, and that talking is a huge no-no.
• Do dress appropriately. I realize that we live in a casual world and that people simply do not dress-up anymore, but the theatre is an outing. Would it really kill you to not wear the jeans with the holes in the crotch or the hooker outfit bought in the Frederick's of Hollywood catalogue?
  

• Don't wear cologne or perfume, no matter how much you like it or how expensive it might be. Last evening the woman next to me bathed in her bottle of Calvin's latest. I fanned myself with my program so often to attempt to dissipate the stench, that she must of thought that I was having a hot flash. I had an asthma attack in the middle of one of the Mother Abbesses speeches. OY! 
• Don't eat garlic, onions or fish directly before coming in. We are all in very close quarters and I really don't need to guess what you ate for dinner by smell.
• Don't bring your leftover cocktail into the theatre with you. My smelly seat mate also found it necessary to slurp her glass of red wine during the performance-both acts!! 
• Don't unwrap your candies and lozenges during the performance. That little exercise can safely be handled before the lights dim.
• Don't carry on your personal conversations during the show. The mother and daughter sitting directly behind us were in the middle of a typical teenage angst argument concerning piercings and tattoos. I had no choice but to listen to this obnoxious 15 year old lecture her mother about what an old-fart she is. This "bitch in training" was loud, profane and wholly undeserving of the more than $100 that her mom had spent on her for the evening. Shut up and leave the personal dramas at home.
  

I feel better now. Thank you for indulging me my little rant. If you have occasion to visit the Toronto area, or you have the good fortune to live here, go see this show. It is well worth the bucks!

Some SofM trivia to liven up your Wednesday. Take special care to note whether I am talking about the stage play or the movie. Good Luck all.

1. Mary Martin played the original Maria on Broadway. She was 46 at the time. How old was the actual Maria when she married Captain Von Trapp?
2. What does Marta want for her 7th birthday?
3. Oscar Hammerstein II died before the film went into production. As a result, 2 songs that were added for the film were composed entirely by Richard Rodgers. What were they? (By the way-both of these songs have now been added to play!)
4. What do Lesley-Anne Warren, Patty Duke, Mia Farrow, Sharon Tate and Kim Darby all have in common?
5. The movie features a rare on-camera performance by Marni Nixon as Sister Sophia. Ms. Nixon was better known as the behind the scenes singing voice of many a famous actress. Name 3 movie musical roles that Marni Nixon dubbed!
6. Who played the Captain in the original Broadway production?
7. The entire children's cast was nominated for a Tony award. Which award were they nominated for?
8. Angela Cartwright, who played Brigitta in the movie, had to miss the final episode of her TV show that year in order to make the filming. What was that classic show?
9. How old are the Von Trapp children? (Remember there are 7 of them!)
10. Julie Andrews nearly turned down the role of Maria. Why?
    

I realize that these are tough, but did you honestly think I was going to ask you about My Favourite Things? Enjoy, and remember first with all correct answers wins a CHEAP prize.

My Not So Secret Obsession

I realize that I have been out of touch for the past few days. Coming down from an incredible high will often render one incapable of thinking of anything else for a time, but I think that I am ready to re-enter the land of humanity once again, and so back to reality.

We all have some hidden pleasure in our lives that we are reluctant to share with friends and family for fear of ridicule. Maybe you are a regular viewer of American Idol or Dancing With the Stars, but you watch in solitude on a Sunday night when nobody knows. Maybe you like a good romance novel, but will only publicly discuss the bestsellers lists. Maybe you like Elmo? (Ok-I adore Elmo. That furry red monster just makes me laugh. I cannot help myself!) I myself have an obsession that is really not so secretive. I have absolutely no problem telling the world that I am an enthusiastic devotee of musical theatre, and by extension the Hollywood musical film. (I realize that there are several of you wincing in pain as I divulge this bit of information, but I really could not care less!) My name is Dawn and I am a "musical junkie"! There is no rhyme or reason for my freaky fanaticism, I just truly love the art form. (Yes, it is an art form. I'd like to see you all break into a rip-roaring free-for-all, truly athletic song and dance in order to celebrate something as benign as a picnic!) 

I was raised on the stuff. How many people of my generation do you know, who can recite the resumes of such illustrious performers as Kathryn Grayson, Howard Keel, Jane Powell, Russ Tamblyn and Gwen Verdon? (Who?--Look 'em up!) How many people of my age do you know who can regale you with trivia like "Who played the original Curly in the brilliant Rodgers and Hammerstein Broadway production of Oklahoma?" (hint: it wasn't Gordon MacRae! First person with the correct answer, wins a prize!!) I just love the stuff. I love how the music weaves into the story. I love the simplicity of it, even when the action is far from simple. (See Spring Awakening!) I marvel at the choreography and I am in total awe of the talent, the voices, the musical composition and the creativity. When I saw Idina Menzel in the original cast of Wicked, I bawled my eyes out when she sang "Defying Gravity". It isn't even a sad song! I was just so totally moved by the sheer power of her performance. I even love the crap. Judy and Mickey putting on a show in a barn! Mamma Mia? Crap! But I can't wait to see the movie. We Will Rock You? Utter crap!! (On second thought-don't even waste your money on that one!) Hairspray? Great play- average movie. John Travolta was seriously miscast, but I have seen the stupid thing 10 times! I am a sucker for all of it. But, the ultimate, the all-time favourite, the piece de resistance is The Sound of Music.

I have no rational explanation for my clear obsession for this piece. (Julie Andrews' vocal range may be part of it!) I have seen the movie more times than the Husband or I dare count. The Progeny are so mystified by my devotion, they have stopped asking for reasons. I personally and currently own copies of the film on VHS, Laser Disc and DVD. I have the special editions and the director's cuts. I can recite every line and every lyric. I know which nun Marni Nixon played and which nun was played by Anna Lee. (Sick, no?) But, despite my true reverence for this work, I have never seen it on stage. (Camp does not count!) So, it was with absolute giddy excitement that I bought myself a present. Tomorrow, the Husband and I will brave the Toronto traffic and head to the theatre district to finally see The Sound of Music live and onstage. Sir Andrew Lloyd  himself is mounting this production, and the part of Maria is being played by a young woman who was chosen by a reality show. In spite of all of the obstacles, the reviews have been astounding and I am truly psyched. Many of my nearest and dearest have asked me how did I managed to cajole the Husband into such an obvious "testes-squeezing" evening. What can I say? He loves me! Musical theatre lives!!

Kol Isha: The Afterglow

Well here I sit in sloth-mode, attempting to come down from the incredible high that was the Kol Isha concert.  I have tried to collect my thoughts all day before attempting to construct this post, but my head is so very muddled.  Please indulge me if I sound a tad incoherent.  

For those of you who know me personally, know that I am a bit tightly wound. (I can almost hear a collective facetious chorus of  "No shit"!!!) So, heading into our dress rehearsal yesterday I was stricken with an assortment of psychosomatic ailments ranging from intestinal disorders, to headaches and a strange nervous cough that just lingered all morning. To put it mildly, I was scared shitless and no amount of stroking, joking or confidence boosting psycho-babble was going to help the condition.  In short, I needed to get the proverbial show on the road and the anticipation was killing me-literally! To add to my now-legendary anxiety, was the fact that our colleague from Western New York was finally going to be in attendance to rehearse with us and nobody knew how the whole thing would come together. I needn't have worried. She proved to be warm, willing, gracious, altogether humble and wholly uncomfortable with the spotlight being thrust upon her. My kind of woman for certain! We all meshed in voice and, more importantly, in personality and character. By the time all of  the fussing with music stands, microphones, choreography, a slightly flattened Eb on the piano, reserved seating, frigid temperatures in the theatre (we were all blue with cold!) and the storage of our stuff backstage (six women have bags and bags of "stuff") was done, we knew that there was nothing left to do but sing our lungs out. 

And sing we did!! We sang from the depths of our souls and we sang to the rafters of the moldy old theatre. (Is it ever a blessing that this place is being torn down and rebuilt properly. The backstage and dressing areas are truly disgusting with mold stains on the ceiling and cracked tiles throughout. The bathrooms need a thorough cleaning and the temperature in the building is so inconsistent that we were wearing our winter coats inside for much of the day! We were forever warming ourselves on the light bulbs on the make-up mirrors.) We created a new model for the dusty old cantorial concert. We danced and we shimmied and we played. One of the email comments that was forwarded to me today spoke of seeing Miriam and the women with their timbrels. That comment touched me in a way that was so strikingly personal and was so at the heart of everything that we attempted to convey last night. It was impossible to get a sense of the audience (who braved a miserable weather night to fill the place to capacity!) while actually being in the moment, (the lights blinded me so completely to the crowd, that I had no idea who was there until this morning when I started getting messages!) but the response has been overwhelming. 

I need to express my heartfelt gratitude (it seems like so little, but it is what I have to offer) to my "singing sisters" who stood together as one on that stage and saw this project through to a remarkable conclusion. The music, the love, the debates, the devotion and the chocolate were more than I could have ever hoped for! The connections that were forged will last a lifetime. I need to acknowledge the wonderful people at Kolel and especially their visionary leader for even pondering the notion that something like this could work. I need to thank my Kol Ami family who turned out in force in support of something that I am certain many thought would be a colossal bore. (Boy, were you ever WRONG!!) We may be small, but we are mighty and our strength was there for all to see last evening.  Finally, to my family-those who were there physically and those in spirit-thanks for putting up with my "stuff", for listening, for lending credence to my shit and for just saying "Yes, Dear", "Yes, Dawn" and "Yes, Mom" for much of the last three months. Your support was unwavering as always.  And now, I need a vacation! Take me south, husband!!