It is a difficult experience for a type-A such as myself, but I am learning to cope. Slothing is an acquired art form that I have learned to embrace and have come to believe is necessary for all of us in order to recharge our batteries from time to time. For the last 6 weeks, I have been literally running on high octane in a 24/7 existence. I know that this is not unusual for many of you, but the physicality of my job combined with my pervasive sleep deprivation has combined to make me quite hyperactive and a bit of a bitch on wheels! The day I had yesterday is, to say the least, exhausting as well as exhilarating. The overwhelming feeling of tired extends to every part of my being, both physical as well as metaphysical. I never knew that hair could hurt. I never knew that fingernails could ache. And so, I took today as a sloth day.
I have had this day planned out for a very long time. Here is a sample schedule.
7:30 am Wake up. Now I realize that if one is planning to sloth, then 7:30 is ridiculously early, but I cannot sleep in, no matter how hard I try. I actually was stirring much earlier then 7:30, so I consider it a tremendous accomplishment to have kept my eyes closed for that long.
7:35 am Retrieve newspaper, tea, computer, TV controller and telephone and bring them back to bed with me. If one is to truly sloth, then one must have all of the sloth-like devices at one's ready disposal!
9:30 am Drag sorry ass out of bed, change into disgusting old sweatpants and sweatshirt and relocate all above items to family room couch. Include a large bowl of raisin bran. (slothing requires nourishment!)
11:30 am Begin hour long telephone conversation with cousin/sister about absolutely nothing. (Cousin/Sister is a pro at speaking at great lengths about absolutely nothing!)
12:30 pm Lunch!! This midday meal consisted of one delicious brownie (chocolate is always a must!) and a diet coke!! Gotta love slothing!
12:31 pm Return to couch with Diet Coke in hand.
12:35 pm Younger Son calls to beg for money. Tell him that sloths don't have pockets or purses and that he should annoy his father!
1:00 pm Begin to watch George Clooney movie. (Love George!)
1:30 pm Hate this movie! (Michael Clayton is boring as sin!!) Thankful for phone call from friend.
3:00 pm General Hospital is on. Haven't caught my soap for ages. Who are all those young and disgustingly handsome young doctors?
4:00 pm Thinking it might be time to shower. This sweatshirt is starting to smell a bit ripe.
6:00 pm Head for dinner at mother sloth's home. Sloths should never have to worry about Shabbos dinner!!
8:30 pm Return home change back into sweats and head straight for couch. Another Diet Coke is in order!!
10:30 pm Bed! Slothing is exhausting.
I have decided that this day is a moral imperative. We all need a day like this, especially when the weekend promises to be a working weekend. Sloth On!!!!
Shabbat Shalom all you sloths!! Enjoy your day.