Care Enough

In a really easy distractive effort to avoid any kind of brick and mortar shopping, I spent part of this Thanksgiving weekend here at the Southern Home watching several of those cheesy and incredibly formulaic Christmas movies on the Hallmark Channel.

The Husband hates these time-wasters with a passion so red-hot that it burns through the chair he is sitting in. I, on the other hand, find the mental tapioca they provide so extremely soothing and calming. There is something serene about knowing the plot stylings so well in advance of viewing that I can almost predict down to the minute when the protagonist will realize all that has gone wrong in her life and take up with the standardized hunk of the day in order to give her life purpose and completion. The fake snow and tinsel merely add to the appeal.

But if truth be told, I find myself drawn to these films and the Hallmark Channel specifically because of the commercials that Hallmark runs at this time of year. They aren't merely thirty-second spots to hawk greeting cards, rather they are several minute stories or essays about deep and personal connections. There is the one about the former high school basketball player, now fully grown with a family of her own, who shows up to say goodbye to a beloved coach on the occasion of his retirement; or the one with the two sisters trying to downsize their childhood home to prepare their aging parents for a move; or my personal favourite about the new neighbours who try all year to connect with the curmudgeon next door, only to discover the source of his pain when he finally lets them in at Christmas.

Hallmark has discovered a formula for their advertising that is intensely personal and accomplishes what a great commercial should do. These spots force you to remember the company and, more importantly, why you should purchase from them.

In watching my Christmas movies on Sunday, I noticed something new from Hallmark this year. They have altered their tagline. For years, Hallmark's slogan was "When you care enough to send the very best." They have now shortened it to simply read "Care enough".

It's amazing how much power I find contained in this simple message. A large company is imploring us to just care. They aren't interested in your politics or your religious affiliation. They don't care how busy you are or where you live. They are sending out this simple moral lesson to old and young, rich or poor, people of all races, creeds, and colours. Care enough.

Maybe, for just a bit, we can stop what we are doing and follow through on this mantra.

Care enough.

Consider it when you are in a hurry and thinking it might be a great idea to run that red light or make that illegal turn or lane change.

Care enough.

Ponder it when you interrupt the busy salesperson who is already serving a customer.

Care enough.

Think twice before responding angrily to the online troll who is trying to bait you.

Care enough.

Remember it when passing by the person out in the cold who could use a meal and a pair of mittens.

Care enough.

Believe in it when you see your neighbour struggling to clear his walk or carry in her garbage can or groceries.

Care enough.

Surmise it when you become short of temper with the new girl at your favourite coffee place.

Care enough.

To visit someone who can't visit you.

Care enough.

To connect. Face to face. Voice to voice. In person.

Care enough.

To listen.

Our world is filled with problems. I can't pretend to have the answers to any of them but I do believe that if we followed Hallmark's lead and cared enough with small acts of kindness we could make a pretty good start.

I'm buying Hallmark cards this year for my holiday giving. They have earned my patronage.

Another Short Tikkun Olam Story From The Streets of Toronto

Another short post about the Tikkun Olam happening every day on the streets close to my home.

This past weekend we were privileged to celebrate with good friends on the occasion of a milestone birthday. As a kibbitz, the hostess gifted us all with scratch-off lottery tickets that we played together at the dinner table. It should be noted that I am not a regular lottery ticket buyer and I have never before played a scratch-off. After some discussion as to the methodology so as not to accidentally void a possible winner, we all began scraping at our tickets with coins. A friend across the table was elated when he won $10.00, but my highlight came on the final rub of my ticket when I was stunned to find a $50.00 winner. After ascertaining from everybody at the table that I had indeed been a fortunate soul, I began to plot and plan what to do with my free money. I mean, really? How often does something like that occur?

The Husband had been talking for a couple of weeks about going to see the Georgia O'Keeffe exhibit at the Art Gallery of Ontario. Coincidentally, the cost of the tickets was exactly $50.00. We decided that since today is a holiday, we would make our way over to the AGO to view the work of one of my all-time favourite artists. 

But as it happens, my plans were slightly waylaid by a story I saw on last evening's newscast. It seems that there is a good soul of a local chef named Jagger Gordon who has set up a soup and sandwich bar in a retrofitted shipping container in a nearby neighbourhood.  It is a pay-what-you-can enterprise that is an outgrowth of his Feed It Forward program designed to collect discounted food from local sources and feed it to those less fortunate. Chef Gordon is passionate about food waste and he is even more so about making sure nobody goes hungry. I was enthralled by the story and said to The Husband that I really wanted to stop in to check out his work on our way to the AGO this morning.

Jagger is an extremely affable man. He carefully explained his project to us and when The Husband offered him some cash to offset his costs, he told us that our small donation would feed about eight other people. He made sure that we added our poker chips to the jar so that those eight would eventually have their soup and sandwiches. 

I certainly am not trying to tout our altruism. That is not at all the point of this piece. Yes, it is true that some of my free money went to support this project, but I simply want to highlight the good work going on in our neighbourhoods, sometimes right under our noses. We hear so much shit about people today that every so often it is really wonderful to remember the decency and morality of humankind. If you happen to be in the Dundas/Bathurst Street area of downtown Toronto over the next couple of months, I urge you to stop in and chat with Chef Jagger Gordon and contribute to his little bit of Tikkun Olam, the reparation of our little corner of the world. 

And...The Georgia O'Keeffe exhibit at the AGO is absolutely worth the price of admission. A lovely way to spend a holiday Monday.

Another Vignette of Tikkun Olam

Another quick and really nice story from the streets of urban Toronto.

I know, I know. 

I am in danger of losing my official membership card to the "Curmudgeonly Gadfly" club, but my psyche has been in desperate need of good news stories. Trust me. When baseball is no longer an escape but instead it has a compounding effect on my acid-reflux, you know that I am on a precarious perch. So when I see deeds of loving kindness up close and personal, I feel an overwhelming need to share.

Yesterday, The Husband and I had an appointment in the east end of the city that required a ride on the Queen streetcar. While waiting at the stop, we noticed a gentleman who had obviously spent the frigid night before sleeping in the bus shelter. He was amiably chatting with some other familiar locals and just trying to keep the crisp April morning air at bay.

While we continued to wait, I noticed that the Tim Horton's directly behind us was doing its usual brisk early morning business. Easter Monday is a school holiday here so the place was filled with young families as well as young urbanites who were languidly enjoying the slower pace of the day. Just before our streetcar arrived, two young women exited the shop with several orders of coffee. They approached the gentleman and explained that they had been given a free coffee and were wondering if he would like to have it. He very politely declined their offer and thanked them for their thoughtfulness but he explained that he really didn't care for coffee. However, if they were willing, he would really love to have a chocolate donut. He hoped that they weren't offended by his request. Quite the contrary, they told him that it was not a problem at all and they would be more than happy to get him his treat. They then proceeded back into Timmie's to purchase it.

After seeing so much incivility in the news lately and being constantly led by world and business leaders to believe that being an asshole gets one further in this world, these small and random acts of kindness that I have witnessed lately are helping to fuel my yetzer ha-tov, my better inclination. It certainly doesn't mean that I have lost my cynicism or that I am going to start farting rainbows and unicorns but these episodes do serve to remind me that so many people are inherently decent.

Baruch Atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech Ha-Olam
She-natan lanu hizdamnut l'takein et ha-olam

Blessed are You, Adonai, our God, Ruler of the universe, for giving us the opportunity to mend the world. 

**With thanks to Dan Nichols and Rabbi Ron Klotz

A Small Act of Tikkun Olam

How about a quick but really nice story?

I spent a great deal of my morning today running pre-Pesach errands up and down Bathurst Street in torrential rains. I swear that I saw raccoons and squirrels marching two by two in midtown in search of an ark, that's how bad the weather was. Drivers were in no mood to slow down and believe me, I saw more than one poor pedestrian get soaked by discourteous cars and buses. It was an all-around icky early morning.

And then I witnessed the best of this city.

As I approached Bathurst and St. Clair, I saw a cab (yes a cab!) pull over to the side of the road in order to disembark its passenger. Drivers, angry at the lane blockage, honked and gesticulated in nasty ways. The cabbie ignored it all and adamantly refused to allow his senior-citizen female passenger to open her own door. Instead, he got out of his driver's seat in the teeming rain, ran around to the curbside, opened the back passenger-side door for the woman, and walked her to her destination with an umbrella. It was a small but very distinct act of goodwill and kindness.

There are so much misery and nastiness these days that sometimes I forget that so many are just decent people at heart. We often forget that we are all responsible for each other and at times a little reminder of how acts of love and kindness can truly repair the world is really in order.

This morning, in the rains and windswept streets of Toronto, I witnessed a small gesture of Tikkun Olam, the reparation of the world. I won't soon forget it.

Thanks and Giving

I love Marlo Thomas. Not just as an actress, although she is tremendously funny and wonderfully human in almost everything she has done. No, I love Marlo Thomas the feminist icon, the social activist, the educator, the philanthropist, and the role model for young women. It is hard to believe that it has been 45 years since  "That Girl" premiered. At the time, Thomas' Ann Marie was the only single woman living an independent life on network television. The show depicted her living in her own apartment-without roommates-striving to make a name for herself as an actress in New York. The other characters, her boyfriend Donald, her parents, her myriad of temporary bosses, were secondary storylines to that of her striving to live life on her own terms. Behind the scenes, Thomas was a co-creator and a producer of the show-almost unheard of in those days unless your name was Lucille Ball. Without Ann Marie blazing the way, we probably wouldn't have seen Mary Richards, Murphy Brown, Carrie Bradshaw, or Liz Lemon.

After "That Girl" ended Thomas went on to educational projects-Free to Be...You and Me-which encouraged individuality in children and to develop pride in who they are. With the success of the book and subsequent television program, Thomas established the Free to Be...You and Me Foundation designed to "ensure children's wholeness as human beings: their right to nurturing care from women and men; their right to schools, homes and a society that are free from discrimination based on sex, race, culture, class, or any condition of birth; their right to non-sexist, multiracial education; and their right to grow up in a positive, diverse, supportive setting that encourages independence." Whew! How can you not love a woman who actively works for and believes in something like that. In 1973, Ms Thomas joined Gloria Steinem, Patricia Carbine, and Letty Cottin Pogrebin as the founders of the United States' first women’s fund, the Ms. Foundation for Women. The organization was created to deliver funding and other resources to organizations that were presenting women’s voices in communities nationwide. She did all of this phenomenal work while still maintaining a thriving acting career and a successful marriage.

But it is at American Thanksgiving that I am most impressed with Marlo Thomas. Carrying on the work begun by her father Danny Thomas, Marlo serves as the national outreach director for St. Jude's Children's Hospital raising funds for their tremendous work. In 2004 she started the Thanks and Giving program. Using her connections with corporate sponsors and within Hollywood, Marlo began this annual fundraising blitz which occurs during Thanksgiving week and the week beyond, and has raised almost a quarter of a billion dollars for the hospital in 7 years. Stunning. 

When I hear young women spout nonsense like feminism is dead and it isn't necessary for them to be involved in causes to raise awareness, I always point out that it is because of women like Marlo Thomas that they have the opportunities that they do. When I watch women idolize the Real Housewives of anywhere or regard the Kardashian sisters as a positive image for girls to aspire to, I turn them onto the work of Marlo Thomas and gently explain why she just might be a better role model.  

Happy Thanksgiving to my American friends. Enjoy the day. Just remember that as you all convalesce from your turkey stupors it is all about the Thanks and the Giving. 

Baruch atah Adonai Eloheinu Melech ha-olam she-natan lanu hizdamnut l'takein et ha-olam.

Blessed are You, Adonai, our God, Ruler of the universe, for giving us the opportunity to mend the world.