Friday 16 November 2007

Just Like a Yo-Yo


I have been on a diet for the past 30 years! I know that this sounds extreme, but when you are blessed with the height of a Smurf and the breasts of Dolly Parton, it takes all of the fortitude and will-power afforded you to keep a healthy and proper body type. If anyone were to ask me if I have achieved my optimum goal weight, the usual response that would be forthcoming over these many years would probably be "I really would like to lose 5-10 more pounds." I realize that I suffer from a lack of positive body image. I know that I am a product of my environment, both internal and external. I have a phobia of scales and the yearly physical sends shivers throughout my body as I hope against hope that I have, at the very least, not gained since last year. (This year's annual terror will occur next Thursday!) You name the diet, I have tried it. Ready? Weight Watchers, Diet Workshop, Sugar Busters, The Glycemic Index, The South Beach Diet, The Scarsdale Diet, The Atkins Diet, The Grapefruit Diet (don't ask!), The Cabbage Soup Diet (oy, the gas!), The Banana Diet (supposed to aid in potassium deficiency), no carbs, low carbs, low-fat, no fat, high fat...... the list is endless. Intellectually, I know that the best and only diet that really works is one of common sense eating combined with regular exercise, and believe me I try to follow this plan as best as I can, but I am female. Who amongst us isn't trying to change something about the way we look and feel about ourselves by altering our weight, even slightly? I have watched both family members and friends struggle with this problem for years, and finally I have the cure for all that ails us. Renovate your kitchen!!!! No seriously-do it! It works!! It can't be a bedroom or living room reno, it must be the kitchen. Here's how it works. Move all of the food, food preparation gear and especially the refrigerator to the deepest bowels of the home-the basement. This move serves two purposes. Firstly, out of sight, out of mind. If you cannot see and access the food easily, you are less inclined to want it. Secondly, I have been spending most of my time in the upstairs bedroom. That means that I have to traverse two long flights of stairs in order to get to the calories. Instant exercise!! I have climbed more stairs in the past two weeks then most people do in a year. Not only that, you really think twice about whether or not you need that snack if you have to go up and down the stairs to get it. When you move all of the kitchen stuff, lighten the load. When we were cleaning the kitchen out, we got rid of most of the junk. (with the exception of the husband's chocolate stash!) Into the garbage went the half eaten bags of potato chips and the open cookies. They were not replaced because there is limited storage space. (Not only that, even if I wanted any of that stuff, I couldn't begin to find it!) More fruit went into the fridge because it was easily stored. Yes it is true, that there is more prepared food right now than would normally be here, because we do not have an oven. I am not a fan of prepared food, so I am simply avoiding it. It is also true that fresh vegetables, normally a staple in this house, have been somewhat lacking. Has anyone ever tried to cut up a broccoli on a bridge table? We are making up for it partly with increased fruit and partly when we eat out. Not ideal, but not bad! I was very concerned that 4-5 weeks of take-out and restaurants would lead to those dreaded extra pounds finding their way back onto my midriff. Guess what? The renovation diet has helped me to lose 5 pounds in 2 weeks!

Inside Reliable is still here with his crew and the drywall is almost done. These guys are fabulous! Diligent and hard-working and clean!! There will be some new photos posted later. Outside Hunky has disappeared again. He has been MIA since Wednesday and probably won't be back until the middle of next week to work on the deck expansion. Teenage son finally cried "uncle" and has escaped the chaos for the weekend. That is one smart boy! Shabbat Shalom to all who observe it!

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