Wednesday, 1 July 2009

I Love Canada, but I Hate the Weather!

Happy 142nd to my beloved country. Last year, I wrote of the many things that we Canadians can look to with both amusement and pride. This year, I was hoping not to blog at all. I had planned to spend the day with good friends funning and sunning around the pool, and barbecuing and beering the evening away. Maybe we might even catch some fireworks to help celebrate our country's birthday. Instead, as is truly Canadian, we are being held hostage to the fickle Canuck climate. The sun is straining to emerge, but the temperatures are less than seasonal, and there is the promise of massive showers. So while our plans remain in limbo, there is little else to do except spend some time with the blogosphere. I was greeted this morning by an email from a friend also lamenting the crappy weather. With her permission, and with profound apologies to Calixa Lavallee and Robert Stanley Weir, (the composer and English lyricist of our national anthem) she and I offer you our take on Canadian weather on this our country's day of celebration. I just want it understood that SHE STARTED IT!!!

In honour of our country's 142nd birthday and the crappy weather this summer, I offer this new anthem... (sung to the tune of O Canada!)

O Canada!
Our home and soggy land,
Why can't the rain
Fall down when WE command?
Instead it pours on holidays
And dampens all our fun;
Extinguishing the fireworks
And forcing us to run.
God make our land
Sunny and bright,
O Canada
This weather just ain't right!
O Canada
Make it rain just at night!

Here was my response.

Is this a challenge? A re-write throw down?? You are on!

Oh Canada!
This weather really sucks,
We'd like the rain
If we were born as ducks!
On our holidays
When the weather's crap
There's nothing much to do
'Cause in Canada all the stores stay closed
Leftover from the laws of blue!
God give this land
Summers hot and clear
Oh Canada
We loathe this wet and drear
Oh Canada
We all just want some beer!!

She countered!

Verse 2...

O Canada!
The land of snow and ice;
Hot summer sun
Would be so very nice!
As I sit inside
And look at the clouds,
I softly shed a tear
For the summer days
That so quickly pass
Much faster every year!
50 SPF
On my shelf sits,
O Canada
This weather is the pits,
O Canada
It truly is the shits!

Never the shrinking violet, I responded in kind.

You are good!

Verse next...

O Canada!
We love to moan and bitch
Of climes that seem surreal
And throw our plans a hitch
When we hope for heat
We get cold and wet
It all seems so unfair
Summer seems to last
But one week a year
It fades away into the air
I need the sun
How my tan abates
O Canada
I'll travel to the States
O Canada
It's time to book the dates

If she serves and volleys, I will post it or if any of you would like to try your hand, I will post those as well. Try and enjoy the day Canada, in spite of the weather. 142 and counting!


The woman plays for keeps

Here is her latest salvo.

This is getting serious

Okay, in the interest of bilingualism, je vous offre la suivante... (please excuse the atrocious grammar & lack of's been longtemps since I have composed en francais)

O Canada!
Je vous aime beaucoup, oui oui
Mais je vous dis
Je n'aime pas la pluie!
Je prefere le beau soleil,
C'est vrai...
Mais il n'y en a pas assez!
Je prefere rester toujours dehors,
Dans le beau mois de juillet!
Zut, mes chers amis
Il fait mauvais aujourdhui
O Canada,
Il fait pas beau ici.
O Canada...
Mais vous etes notre pays!

Can anybody top it?

***UPDATE #2

Since I can't compete in French and Hebrew is difficult to rhyme, I thought that I would take a different tack. Notice each Canadian hockey team is mentioned!

O Canada!
Canadiens have range
Spending our time
On that which cannot change
So we bellyache
Like a Senator
We hate the atmosphere
Like a Flame that's doused
In the Oiler sands
Our viewpoint's rarely ever clear
O Canada
Give Canucks relief
Please let the summer sun
Come wilt the Maple Leaf
O Canada
I want to end this grief!


  1. There once was a frustrated Canuck
    Who seldom had good weather luck
    Yet another grey day
    Spoiled all fun and play
    And all he could utter was F**K!

  2. Oooh - that's a good one.

    Okay, I've had enough of the anthem. Let's change it up a bit but keep the Canada theme....limericks, haiku, sonnets - go for it.

    Really, people, are Dawn and I the only poets among us?????

    Give it a try! It's easy...just like this...

    We live in a great northern land
    With a climate I simply can't stand
    But I don't make a fuss
    I just take an Airbus
    To the south where the winter is banned!