Wednesday, 7 November 2007

When God closes a window.....

When God closes a window isn't he/she supposed to open a wall? I realize that I am paraphrasing a parable, but in the case of this kitchen renovation it is particularly apt. A wall that was supposed to become a door, and a door that was supposed to become a wall are still in their natural states of being. This part of the destruction was supposed to take place a week ago, but we seem to be in a holding pattern. Outside hunky contractor (think of a way too young Matt Damon) who has great brawn to match his munchkin sized brain, is now on excuse number 35 as to why he still hasn't shown up. Inside reliable contractor (think Jackie Chan with shoulders) can only go so far until outside hunky contractor begins his work. Overall designer (think my brother only Asian and with a baseball cap) is royally pissed. Anyone who has embarked upon such a project will attest, delays are part of the experience. This delay, though, is wrapped around a deeply embedded part of my psyche. I DON'T DO WINTER!!!!!!! I don't mean I don't do winter "well", I mean I don't do winter at all. If I could figure out a way to hibernate and not gain 30 pounds, believe me I would do it. If I could sprout wings and fly south under my own power, I would. I start wearing gloves on October 1st. I spend most of February (when I am not south) sitting on a hot water bottle. There aren't enough sweaters, long-johns or herbal teas to keep me happy. I don't ski (WTF is that all about!), skate, toboggan, or any other such winter induced nonsense. If God had intended me to slide down a mountain he/she would have siliconed my ass. Now this structural delay has meant us entering the cold weather phase of the Toronto calendar. There is a real possibility that the entire wall will be open during some of the first cold snap days of the fall. Overall designer has sworn up and down that outside hunky contractor will be on the job tomorrow and has asked if he could work on Shabbos. (ok-that one was mine, not his!) My answer was if it will keep me from have to don snowshoes to walk up the stairs--well ok then!!

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