Eighth Night For Ethan

**This is an edited and updated version of an appeal I gave at my synagogue's Yom Kippur morning services this year. The call for action is still just as relevant today almost three months later.

I stand before you as an alumnus of the URJ Goldman Union Camp Institute. GUCI, as it is affectionately known, is a sister camp to our very own Camp George which is located in Zionsville Indiana, just north of Indianapolis. GUCI was my home for 9 summers; as a camper, counselor, leadership staff, and songleader. It is the place where I learned to live and breathe Judaism, to find connection, to discover myself. It was where I chose to send my own children and it is where they too came into their own as active members of the Reform Jewish community. GUCI is a part of my soul, my lifeblood. The GUCI community and the extended URJ camping community are family.

And so it was that the news from GUCI this summer struck such a personal chord. On June 29th, the peace of a Shabbat afternoon was rocked by a lightning strike that left three young campers who were playing Ultimate Frisbee, injured on the athletic field. There were no storms forecasted for the area, nor was there a cloud in the sky. The lightning was truly a bolt out of the blue. Due to the quick response and heroic efforts of staff, all of whom are personally known to my own sons, the campers were rushed to area hospitals and all survived. Two of those children thankfully have recovered, with one even returning to camp for a visit.

The third camper, 13 year old Ethan Kadish, was hospitalized in his hometown of Cincinnati for 145 days and he and his family are in need of our help. His injuries have been catastrophic and the challenges that he faces are many. For these many months, Ethan has been working hard on his daily therapies in preparation for his discharge that finally occurred yesterday and saw him return home. But he and his family still face a long road ahead. There are mounting financial costs that are related to his ongoing care and therapies, and the accommodations that need to be made to their home.

Every morning at GUCI the camp gathers together to sing the song “L’takein” written by GUCI alum Dan Nichols and former director Rabbi Ron Klotz. The lyrics are as follows:

Baruch atah Adonai Eloheinu melech ha’olam shenatan lanu hizdamnut l’takein et ha’olam.

Blessed are you, Adonai, our God, Ruler of the Universe, who has given us the opportunity to mend the world.

We have a chance to help mend Ethan’s world.

At the end of August, during the week that was to have seen Ethan called to the Torah as a Bar Mitzvah, a fundraising campaign was launched to help the Kadish family meet the immense financial challenges that lay ahead for uninsured therapies, home modifications, and other injury related expenses. Rabbi Rick Jacobs, President of The Union for Reform Judasim reminds us that our tradition teaches:

Kol Yisrael arevim zeh b’zeh...all Jews are responsible one for the other. I would like to think that maybe Kol ha-anashim arevim zen b'zeh...that all people are responsible one for the other.

In an effort to help the Kadish family, a series of fundraising events will be held this Chanukah. From the URJ.

In connection with the Union for Reform Judaism, and HelpHOPELive, URJ Camp George has organized a fundraising flashmob on the 8th Night of Hanukkah called 8th Night for Ethan.  This campaign invites individuals and organizations to give donations (in multiples of 18 – a number that symbolizes good luck in the Jewish tradition) over an 18-hour period on the last night of Hanukkah. Donations will go directly to HelpHOPELive, which has set up a fundraising campaign to assist with Ethan’s ongoing medical expenses. Camp George’s Facebook page will include updates on the event beginning on November 27 (the first night of Hanukkah) and ending on Wednesday December 4 (the 8th Night of Hanukkah).

On the eighth night this year, it is my fervent hope that every family who lights a Chanukiah will light a blue candle in Ethan's honour, and in lieu of gifts that evening to please make a donation to HelpHOPELive to help with his ongoing care.

The Talmud teaches that whoever saves a life, it is considered as if he saved the entire world. (Mishnah Sanhedrin 4:9) Ethan's world needs our help. Together we can make it a little bit better.

Almost Wordless Wednesday Episode Trois

Today's pictorial of natural beauty comes from New York's Central Park. The Husband and I spent four days there this past June in celebration of his milestone birthday. We decided to pass most of our Shabbat morning wandering through the park and as per our custom every single time we visit this magnificent oasis, we managed to get ourselves horribly lost. It was the kind of lost that we relish. We just took our time taking in the stunning images. I snapped this shot from a small footbridge off the bank of the pond. Enjoy.

I'm 50 and I Can Still Touch My Toes. Can You?

I was always a very diligent student.

I did my homework and assignments in a timely manner. I rarely handed anything in late, I asked for help when needed, and I studied in a conscientious manner. But no matter how zealous I was in my work habits, I always ended up cramming before a major test or exam. It seemed as though no matter how prepared I thought I was and no matter how meticulously I had followed the lesson plans throughout the year, I believed that I could get that much better if I pulled an all-nighter.

Of course the logic was flawed. While the intensive review probably helped a bit in the short term, it was the consistent work ethic over a long period of time that was the true source of my scholastic success. And yet....I still have a measure of that panicked student in me when it comes to my yearly physical.

For some strange reason, even after all of these years of attempting to maintain healthy practices, I have this mistaken belief that if I suddenly alter my lifestyle, eating habits, and daily routines a few weeks before the doctor sees me, I can somehow "pass" the exam without giving a great deal of  thought to the work required for my overall physical well-being. I become extraordinarily diligent about remembering to take my supplements. I work out six days a week instead of the usual four to five. I eliminate as much sugar as I possibly can from my diet and I cut way down on the so-called "white foods" so that the scale might pop a more friendly number. It is all so very stupid.

The fact of the matter is that it is the daily choices that have helped my overall well being and not the intensive cramming. A few extra milligrams of vitamin D might look good on a blood panel, but if I don't maintain the regimen it is effectively useless. It is the little things that I have chosen to make a part of my routine that have helped improve my wellness, both physically and emotionally.

• Cutting out diet soda and all artificial sweeteners from my diet. H2O is my friend and most of my friends rarely see me without my water bottle or thermos of green tea. I was a huge Diet Coke consumer. It has been two years since I kicked the habit, and I have never felt better. 
• Our strictly vegetarian diet has improved my stomach issues, my cholesterol, my weight, and my energy levels. I'm not perfect. Sometimes I indulge in a bit too many carbs (especially at this time of year) and I cannot quit chocolate, but the increased consumption in a variety of the best that nature has to offer has been a boon to my overall health.
• I have been so much better about remembering to take my supplements. Vitamin D, B12, Red Yeast Rice, CoQ10, Calcium, a multivitamin and a few others are all part of my daily intake. My sugar and cholesterol numbers are great in part because I am not as lax as I previously was in doing as my doctor prescribes. (Do not take any supplements without first consulting a health care professional. Many vitamins and natural remedies are contraindicated with other medications and can be dangerous. Talk to your doctor about your specific needs.)
• I move. Everyday. Without fail. It might be a walk outside or a run on the treadmill. It might be a weight routine or even just a half an hour of going up and down the stairs, but I move. We don't realize how sedentary our 21st century lives have become. We need to push ourselves to get off of the couch and away from our screens and just move.

I still have a lot to work on. I don't get nearly enough sleep and my stress levels can be off the charts depending on the day, but I am trying. As I get older I have discovered that I want it more. I want to be like my 75 year old parents who are on this very day trekking in Southeast Asia. I realize that I can't guarantee good longterm health, but I can aid in it with smart choices. Our health is not something that we can fix in a day. It is something that requires longterm commitment and care. Small choices and changes in routines are the best ways to kickstart a new approach to wellbeing. Our time here is short enough. Make the most of it.

Meatless Monday Comfort Food

Today's Meatless Monday is an homage to my all-time favourite comfort food, macaroni and cheese. I love the stuff, but unfortunately I usually can't eat it because of this little lactose-intolerant issue that plagues me. (Thanks Mom!) Thank goodness there are now many cheese and milk brands available that allow for dairy enjoyment sans lactose. The other issue of course with mac and cheese is the high caloric and fat content. Guilt abounds at the mere thought of making it and I can almost feel my thighs expanding while sourcing recipes. And then.....I found this little gem of a dish in Vegetarian Times. It combines the flavours  I seek with the comfort I crave, all while severely limiting the fat and calories. Enjoy.

Ingredients

2 cups (8 oz.) whole-wheat penne (I use a bit more)
1 lb. spinach leaves, trimmed
¼ cup olive oil or butter
¼ cup all-purpose flour
2 cups fat-free milk
½ cup plus 2 Tbs. grated Parmesan cheese (I use lactose-free)
2 cloves garlic, minced (2 tsp.)

Preparation

1. Preheat oven to 350°F. Coat 13 x 9-inch baking dish with cooking spray.

2. Cook penne according to package directions. Drain, and set aside.

3. Heat large pot over medium-high heat. Add spinach, and cook 2 to 3 minutes, or until wilted, stirring with tongs to cook all leaves. Drain, and press out any excess liquid. Coarsely chop wilted spinach, and set aside.

4. Heat oil in large saucepan over medium heat. Whisk in flour, and cook 2 minutes, stirring constantly. Gradually whisk in milk, and cook 5 minutes, or until sauce has thickened, whisking constantly. Remove from heat, then add penne, spinach, 1/2 cup Parmesan, garlic to sauce, and stir until well coated. Season with salt and pepper, if desired. Transfer to prepared baking dish, sprinkle remaining 2 Tbs. Parmesan over mixture, and bake 45 minutes to 1 hour, or until top is browned.

** I often add a 1/2 cup of panko bread crumbs to sprinkle on top just before baking. It adds a nice crunch.

I Don't Get It

I promise that today's post is a total coincidence.

I had been collecting notes for this particular piece for over a week when suddenly I read the following on a friend's Facebook status.

"Name three things you will never, ever, ever understand."

Oh my God! I was going to write about that. Honestly!

I want my friend to know that I swear I am not trying to plagiarize from her or attempting to steal her idea or thunder. I guess the cosmos is sending both of us some strange-assed juju to have so wanted this topic put out in the ether.

I have been spending a considerable amount of time lately trying to figure out the how and why of certain occurrences in the universe. I mean, c'mon. I live in the Greater Toronto Area. If these last few weeks and months haven't given tremendous rise to the "I will never understand this shit" mantra, nothing will. But aside from the obvious thoughts of why do bad things happen to good people, I thought that I would lighten the mood slightly with a few things in our modern world that I will never truly understand.

1. The popularity and celebrity worship of William Shatner. If this makes me a bad Canadian, then so be it. I simply cannot stand watching the man. If you want to see how a real Starship Enterprise captain behaves, just look at Jean-Luc Picard. Now there's leadership with sex appeal.

2. Lining up in sub-zero temperatures to purchase the latest and greatest _________________. Usually we are talking about fan boys here, but is it really necessary to camp out in front of some megastore for days in advance just to be one of the first in the world to play with some newfangled electronic device? Will waiting a few weeks make you any less a geek? (And I ask that question lovingly as a parent and spouse of geeks who never camped out for their video games or phones.)

3. The excitement over the return of the McRib. Every year this elusive sandwich seems to have North American fast-food palates all atwitter. Now I realize that I am speaking from the perspective of a vegetarian, but why would anybody want to eat anything that starts out looking like this?

Doesn't it remind you of the childhood board game Operation?

4. Slasher movies. I will never quite comprehend spending ten bucks or more to watch some psycho in hockey gear machete everybody in town. Please do not compare these films with suspense flicks or dramas. Hitchcock was a genius and even I can see the artistic merit in something like Aliens. I am talking about any gory and grotesque movie that has a sequel number approaching double digits. Yes Saw 7, I'm talking to you.

5. Chronic lateness. I get it. Everybody has a bad day or two, but to be continually tardy shows an incredible lack of self-awareness and it is unbelievably selfish to all of those affected by it. And believe me, others are ALWAYS affected by it. Whether it be the patrons at the theatre whom you disturb, the coworkers left waiting to begin a long scheduled meeting, or friends just left hanging, a persistent lack of punctuality is unfathomable to me. Buy a watch and use it.

These are a few of the things in my world that I will simply never get. Please feel free to add your own in the comments section. I am truly interested.

Shabbat Music Break

This week's Shabbat Music Break came to me via the new "family to be" who reside in Buckeye country. I had never even heard of Neko Case until last week, and now I find myself searching online to hear more and more of her hauntingly unique voice. It is an added bonus that while she is an American by birth, she has done some of her best work while living up here in the Great White North. Night Still Comes is off of her most recent album The Worse Things Get, the Harder I Fight, the Harder I Fight, the More I Love You. (2013) The harmonies are simply beautiful. Enjoy.

Shabbat Shalom

I Look Hideous in Beige

My son is getting married.

That's Younger Son! As in....my baby. The last of the progeny. The child who gave me the illusion of my own youth even after it had long dissolved into middle age.

There is an old adage that states that the Mother of the Groom should just shut up and buy a beige dress.

Well...this blog's very existence should tell you that blending into the woodwork has never been a part of my persona, and besides I look hideous in beige.

Marriage.

It is a word and an act that carries such permanence and stability in a world that is full of tremendous fluidity and inconsistency. I am not at all surprised by Younger Son and His Young Lady's foray into wedlock. (As an aside, I need a new handle for her. I have toyed with calling her Future Daughter-in-Law, but it  is a mouthful and sounds slightly archaic. I am accepting suggestions.) He has always been the child who is most likely to crave solidity and balance. He is the son who always had a plan....for his schooling, his career, and now for his life partner. He likes and plays to traditional norms even though he might strenuously object to my characterizing him in this manner. "God, Mom. You make me sound so boring!" He is anything but. He is smart, talented, creative, easy-going, and so very comfortable in his own skin. A true gift that isn't often found in one so young. I am tremendously proud of him and the path he has chosen and of the strong, independent, outgoing, capable, and loving woman who has agreed to share it.

There will be a few blog posts upcoming about the wedding plans. It is an inevitability. When such a monumentous event grabs hold of a family, it becomes the focus. The Young Lady (Yup. That moniker really doesn't work any longer) has taken hold of the project with gusto. She knows her mind and has a definite vision of what she wants the day to be like. As for me? I will try so very hard to not be the meddling mother-in-law that brides tend to consign to the dustbins of family folklore with tales so vile that the Brothers Grimm plagiarized them. You all have my permission to slap me senseless if I get out of hand. Seriously. Do it. 

But I cannot remain silent about how wonderful it is to watch your children achieve this level of happiness. It is all that we as parents hope and pray for. They are so jubilant even through the haze and pressure of preparations. I know that the road will not always be easy and I know that life will present challenges that will at times seem insurmountable. But if they hold on tight to the love and connection they feel for each other, the ride will be thrilling. The wedding is the event, but the marriage is the lifetime.

I will have more to say as the year passes, but I can honestly promise all of you that it won't be coloured beige.