I Am Just So Angry

**This post contains copious amounts of swearing. If you can't handle it, stop reading now.** 

I am just so angry.

I don't want to be mollified by prayers or platitudes about self-care. I don't want to dedicate myself to working towards the collective good. Today, I want to marinate in my anger and have it validated. 

I am just so fucking angry.

I am not interested in women's marches or girding for the next battle. I need to be angry and I need all of you to accept it.

We didn't lose a sporting match. It wasn't our team versus theirs. As a long-suffering Leafs fan, I know exactly what that feels like. This is so different. We are standing on the precipice of something very dark and ugly and if I can't be angry about that, then when can I?

Here's my abbreviated list of anger items. (It's only abbreviated because I'm just so fucking tired.)

I am angry that extreme and mostly male politicians around the world are making our lives less safe. I am so pissed that they are swinging their limp dicks around to prove that toxic masculinity is the only way to govern. 

I am angry that they use us as cudgels against each other and can't find ways to sit and discuss the obvious issues that most of us can easily see. I am furious that they are actively breaking centuries-old norms and changing laws to suit their disgusting need for absolute power. 

I am so angry that most of these leaders see women as their enemies or handmaids instead of their equals. I am so nauseated that they think that it is still ok to pay us less, roll back our bodily autonomy, slow-walk us on childcare issues, and pretend that they are our protectors. (Don't come at me with a not-all-men bullshit excuse. This is a failure of political leadership, and it is mostly a male problem.)

I am furious that these assholes have mesmerized strong pluralities of our populace with simplistic slogans, and hostile solutions to complex problems, and have offered permission structures for the worst of us to rise and punch down at those who cannot defend themselves.

I am raging at the idea that my granddaughters might have less say over their own healthcare than I have enjoyed. Yes, I live in a country where this isn't a problem, but I am always on edge that it could become one. I was in Dublin when Ireland finally adopted abortion rights in their still very Catholic country. The joy spilled out onto the streets. I weep at what my sisters south of the border are currently enduring. 

I am fuming at the behind-the-curtain deals and the quiet handshakes that are happening to keep the worst people in power. I am so very angry that billionaires, oligarchs, and dictators are colluding behind the scenes to act in their own self-interests rather than those of their citizens. 

I am livid I still have to tell my LGBTQIA+ friends and family that their humanity is no different from my own. It is beyond the pale that these wonderful humans are still being used as political cudgels.

I am so pissed off that the worst human beings imaginable are our political leaders and that almost all of them are unprincipled shitheels. Party be damned. The naked corruption and self-interest are so antithetical to what we were previously taught about good and effective leadership. There is simply no decency in most of these people.

I am angry that many of my Jewish friends have become one-issue voters. I am angry that they can't see how they have been manipulated in the name of political self-interest. Israel needs to be protected, the hostages released, and antisemitism needs to be eradicated, but supporting the unholy alliance of disgraceful world leaders to prop up Netanyahu has to end. I have no doubt that Bibi tanked numerous peace initiatives to help Trump. We know for a fact that they were talking offline. Hamas and Hezbollah are existential threats that need to be destroyed, but we Jews need to acknowledge that the comprehensive destruction of Gaza and Beirut is highly questionable. The Palestinian people are our brothers and sisters, and they deserve to live their lives in peace. 

I am angry that many of my non-Jewish friends can't see how we Jews are suffering right now. Both of these things can be true without bowing down to Pharaohs who want to pit us against one another because it is good politics.  

I am so fucking angry that we can't tell the difference between a factual news item and a bogus one. I hate that the richest man in the world has monetized his social media network to act as a propaganda arm for the extreme right-wing motherfuckers. Most decent people are angry every minute of every day because they doom scroll inside of their political bubbles of choice. Ask yourselves why you viscerally hate moderate politician XX or XY, and then try staying off the socials for a month. You might actually feel better and realize that somebody somewhere has ginned up your anger for their selfish gain. 

I am so angry that these pricks are destroying what makes our cities liveable. Parks, bike lanes, and transit projects are being shelved globally because of questionable construction projects that line the pockets of donors. I am pissed that they are building their political careers on the backs of the most vulnerable. The unhoused, those sick with addiction, the new immigrants and the poor all have reason to worry about what is coming.

I am fucking furious that when men in power feel threatened by smart, strong, and opinionated women, they automatically resort to epithets and insults. I never thought I would hear the "c" word uttered by a presidential candidate, but here we are. 

The Husband and those close to me have validated my anger today. Many others probably would tell me to suck it up, buttercup. Those individuals can seriously go suck it. Today is not the day to fuck with me. I am fuming in so many ways that it will take a while to calm down. Anger is a righteous emotion, and right now, I feel I am on the side of the angels. Do you want to tell me I'm not? 

Fuck off.