Where There is No Shame, There is No Honour.

We Jews are entering into Yom Kippur this week and attempting to do teshuva (repentance) for all of the wrongs we have done during this past year. It is a core value of Judaism that in order to make ourselves whole again and move forward as better people, we must first own up to all of the sins we have committed and ask for forgiveness from those we have hurt. This passage is from the V'duii (the confession of sin) in our Machzor.  (High Holy Day prayer book.)

"For transgressions against God, the Day of Atonement atones: but for transgressions of one human being against another, the Day of Atonement does not atone until they have made peace with one another"

It is a system that allows people to fully confront their flaws and admit wrongdoing. It isn't perfect and it demands fortitude and strength from the individual. Apologizing isn't easy. It comes with the acknowledgment that we are imperfect beings and that we feel shame.

And therein lies the fatal flaw to the troubles of our time. We assume that people feel shame, that there is an inherent moral compass that guides our leaders so that they won't breach established norms to fuel their own vendettas, wealth, or egos. We have created institutions like parliament, election laws, the courts, and houses of government based on the premise that shame will stop a rogue leader from venturing too far outside of the norms of society. Rabbi Berel Wein wrote:

“As long as shame existed, the possibility for repentance and self-improvement also existed. Therefore the prophets of Israel exhorted the leaders and people to at least ‘be ashamed of your behavior, O House of Israel!’ Only when the sense of shame disappears does hope wane for a change for the better.”

But what happens when a leader arises that feels no shame? What happens when self-interest is all that matters and the chattering classes that follow that leader understand that in order to serve their own ambitions they must dispense with shame? It is then that society realizes that the norms on which it has come to depend, cannot hold back the tide of populist authoritarianism. We need and expect our leaders to feel shame if their actions are obviously abhorrent. When that disappears, what is left?

And so we have a man who is credibly accused of multiple sexual assaults sitting in the White House and displays zero shame for any of them. We watch as he has shamelessly turned brother against brother and separated children from their parents. We have a leader here in Ontario who is upending traditional norms and changing the rules in the middle of an election campaign because of his personal anger and grudges. His caucus is shamelessly spouting lie after lie to feed his ego in order to gain favour with him. There is no sense of decency and no acknowledgment that anything is wrong with either the process or the law. Without an inherent awareness of shame, the entire system begins to crumble in on itself.

Rabbi Jonathan Sacks makes a distinction between shame and guilt, noting that guilt is the more productive emotion of the two. I agree that there is some merit to this thesis but might argue that one fuels the other. Without shame, how does one feel guilty and then perhaps atone for one's transgressions?

Last night, as the Ontario Legislature held a ridiculous midnight session in order to push through a ridiculous law, I watched as one after another of the Premier's minions spouted shameful lies and misstatements about the functionality of Toronto City Council. I also watched as American senators, tasked with choosing the next Supreme Court Justice, one by one came forward to defend a man accused of a heinous act without even so much as a hearing granted to the accuser. Raucous debate in politics is and should be at the centre of every single decision made and elections certainly do have consequences, but we cannot and should NEVER allow our leaders to govern without shame. When that happens, we can point to the very end of civic and democratic engagement and that should scare us all, no matter where we sit on the political spectrum.

As we head into this week of Atonement, I would like to say that I am ashamed of anything that I might have done, either knowingly or unknowingly, that hurt, embarrassed, upset, dishonoured, or humiliated. I realize that I will need to make my misdeeds right and confront all to whom I have transgressed against.

G'mar Chatimah Tovah. May we all be inscribed for a good sealing.

Where there is no shame, there is no honour. ~Martin Opitz