My neighbours across the water still have their Christmas tree up.

Today.

On Groundhog Day. 

February 2nd.

I know this to be true because the tree is set up for my maximum visualization in the balcony window that is directly facing our unit, and for good measure, the lights on the tree are obviously set on a timer to brightly illuminate their apartment every evening at sundown. (I would take a picture but it is somewhat creepy if not questionably illegal to photograph the inside of your neighbour's apartment. If Jimmy Stewart were alive today to make Rear Window, he would certainly be considered a stalker.)

Seeing that I myself have zero frames of reference for Christmas tree etiquette and I have absolutely no idea as to the proper length of time one should continue to have a Christmas tree up, illuminated, and decorated in one's living room following the appointed day, I can only imagine (or concoct) oddly disturbing conspiracy theories as to why anyone would still want said tree a full six weeks after the holiday. Here are my top 5.

1) These people are deeply devoted to the Christmas season and are absolutely determined not to let it go until some libtard bastard in this Democratic shithole wishes them a "Merry Christmas" the way the supreme leader promised them they would.

2) Because the seasons here range from the "burning fires of hell" to "iguana-dropping cool", there is often confusion as to whether or not Christmas has yet occurred. The Valentines that were on display at Walmart on New Year's Eve should have been a dead giveaway, but I suppose it is possible that somebody's internal calendar is malfunctioning.

3) The dog likes it and it saves them a canine bathroom break.

4) They want to use it in next year's Christmas card picture but haven't yet been able to gather the clan. Planning is everything.

5) They died and the tree is masking enough of the stench that nobody has yet called the coroner.

I invite you all to send me your theories. Post in the comments section of this post or on my Facebook Page.

Shabbat Shalom to all who observe and a continued Merry Christmas to my neighbours.