Sunday, 29 May 2011
Friday, 20 May 2011
10 Things to do Before the Rapture Comes
The Rapture is scheduled for 6:00 pm Saturday evening. I had better get busy. There is so much to do and so little time in which to do it.
See you all in Olam Ha-ba!! Shabbat Shalom to all who observe!
- Call my mother back. She has left two messages and I just haven't yet had the opportunity to return her calls. There is no greater lesson learned than it is always bad karma to not call your mother.
- Clean the house. God forbid that Jesus might return and see my bed unmade.
- Eat a great deal of chocolate. This is just a general rule of thumb, rapture be damned. Oops! Was that blasphemous?
- Watch all of the recorded programs on my PVR. I just can't go on to the next world without knowing whether or not Bones and Booth did the deed.
- Go to Dairy Queen and indulge in a Rolo mini-Blizzard. I have wanted one for weeks and the coming events afford me the opportunity. I plan on going into the next life with a lactose intolerant stomach full of gas so that I might blow the lid off what comes next with great pungency!! The powers that be will be sorry that they messed with me.
- Buy a puppy! Younger Son's Young Lady has been sending me pictures for weeks via this site. I may as well enjoy his/her company while I can.
- Go braless. Propriety can bite me!
- Have a sauna, a hot stone massage and a whirlpool bath. If I am going to go, I may as well be relaxed.
- Stomp on a few ants and flush several spiders. Hey we're all going together, aren't we? They can just get there a few hours earlier.
- Start apologizing to all the people that will probably be offended by this post. When we are still here on Sunday morning, I will have some major explaining to do!
See you all in Olam Ha-ba!! Shabbat Shalom to all who observe!
Wednesday, 11 May 2011
Yet Another Cell Phone Story Courtesy of Younger Son!
Oh, my youngest boy! The angst caused by you and your ongoing melodrama with Ma Bell's cellular division. When last we left the lad, he was fighting with Alexander Graham's namesake conglomerate due to a flawed contract over a defective crackberry device. That incident was just the most recent in a very long line of crappy cell service courtesy of Canada's premier cell phone provider. (Insert facetious smirk here!) Today we were witness to yet another chapter in Younger Son's continuing drama that I have entitled "Ask Not For Whom the Bell Tolls. It Tolls for HE!!"
A couple of days ago, Younger Son noticed some odd behaviour emitting from his phone. He was able to call out and text out, but he was experiencing "service interupt-us" on anything incoming. The problem continued off and on for most of a day, but eventually all returned to normal and as such, he was reluctant to call or visit a Bell location. Today, it all fell apart. At about 5:30 pm, I called his number just to have a friendly chat, and I was summarily informed by a recorded message that his number had been temporarily placed in disservice. I thought that it was yet another quirky issue with his Blackberry, but the fun was just beginning. At 6:00 pm we get a call from a private number. It is Younger Son calling from a friend's phone asking The Husband to please get on the computer to Skype with him as his phone is out of service. When he tried calling out, he was automatically forwarded to Bell customer service. After being placed on hold for over an hour and having been transferred to 4 separate departments including home service support, cell service support, accounts, and fraud, he was disconnected!! Hearing your son scream and swear via Skype is an experience I could have lived without for a few more years. Within 30 seconds of his disconnection, our home phone rings and The Husband finds himself speaking with the same customer service rep that hung up on Younger Son. He wants the boy to call a special fraud number. DUMBASSS!!! The boy doesn't have a working phone because you assholes cut him off without explanation. Only Bell would operate their business this way. The Husband takes the number, keeps Younger Son on the computer via Skype and spends the next hour on hold with Bell's fraud squad. After a lengthy process whereby they have to verify everything from all the account numbers and phone number to his mother's maiden name, they convey the message that his phone has been cloned and that he will have to change his number. Another series of security levels and all is again right with his world.
A few questions for Bell.
1. Why didn't you send either him or us as the account holders, an email explaining the issue?
2. Why didn't you contact the home phone number with a prompt explanation that you were cutting off his phone?
3. Why connect him immediately to Bell service without connecting him immediately to the fraud squad? Why put him through every other department in your f*&#ed up company?
4. Why can't your customer service reps immediately discern that this was an issue for the fraud squad? Aren't you all on the same computer network?
I am so tired of these mega conglomerates that I am starting to wonder if we should go back to the old fashioned methods of communication. I was a Girl Guide. I still remember my semaphore!!
A couple of days ago, Younger Son noticed some odd behaviour emitting from his phone. He was able to call out and text out, but he was experiencing "service interupt-us" on anything incoming. The problem continued off and on for most of a day, but eventually all returned to normal and as such, he was reluctant to call or visit a Bell location. Today, it all fell apart. At about 5:30 pm, I called his number just to have a friendly chat, and I was summarily informed by a recorded message that his number had been temporarily placed in disservice. I thought that it was yet another quirky issue with his Blackberry, but the fun was just beginning. At 6:00 pm we get a call from a private number. It is Younger Son calling from a friend's phone asking The Husband to please get on the computer to Skype with him as his phone is out of service. When he tried calling out, he was automatically forwarded to Bell customer service. After being placed on hold for over an hour and having been transferred to 4 separate departments including home service support, cell service support, accounts, and fraud, he was disconnected!! Hearing your son scream and swear via Skype is an experience I could have lived without for a few more years. Within 30 seconds of his disconnection, our home phone rings and The Husband finds himself speaking with the same customer service rep that hung up on Younger Son. He wants the boy to call a special fraud number. DUMBASSS!!! The boy doesn't have a working phone because you assholes cut him off without explanation. Only Bell would operate their business this way. The Husband takes the number, keeps Younger Son on the computer via Skype and spends the next hour on hold with Bell's fraud squad. After a lengthy process whereby they have to verify everything from all the account numbers and phone number to his mother's maiden name, they convey the message that his phone has been cloned and that he will have to change his number. Another series of security levels and all is again right with his world.
A few questions for Bell.
1. Why didn't you send either him or us as the account holders, an email explaining the issue?
2. Why didn't you contact the home phone number with a prompt explanation that you were cutting off his phone?
3. Why connect him immediately to Bell service without connecting him immediately to the fraud squad? Why put him through every other department in your f*&#ed up company?
4. Why can't your customer service reps immediately discern that this was an issue for the fraud squad? Aren't you all on the same computer network?
I am so tired of these mega conglomerates that I am starting to wonder if we should go back to the old fashioned methods of communication. I was a Girl Guide. I still remember my semaphore!!
Monday, 9 May 2011
Post Mother's Day
I have highly schizophrenic (and I think evolved!) attitudes towards Mother's Day as I have fully discussed here and here. I expect very little from the day, and frankly I prefer to treat it as just another Sunday in May. So when The Husband and I made arrangements to see Susan Werner at Hugh's Room last evening, we totally forgot that it was Mother's Day until a friend pointed it out to us. What an emotionally involving way to spend my day of ambivalence. The woman is truly gifted. If you have never heard Susan or her music I passionately urge you to check her out, and as good as her recordings are, she is so much more in person. Some talented young women Natalia Zuckerman, Garrison Starr, and Mona Tavakoli (percussionist extraordinaire!! I mean, honestly, the woman played a wooden box to absolute perfection!) joined her on stage in what often seemed like an impromptu jam session. It was a joy to share Hallmark's holiday with these empowered and truly wonderful women, not to mention my parents and great friends.
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