George Carlin: "Genius"!!

You know that I am really starting to work at these posts, when I actually have to do some research in order to make it credible. But, I would feel I was doing a tremendous disservice to a true genius if I were to misquote him. George Carlin turned a mirror onto ourselves and the way we viewed the everyday and the everyman. With his plain speech and sardonic wit, he didn't just make us laugh, he made us think, yet he never lost the silliness of a child. He will be truly missed. So in his honour and his memory, I give you George Carlin in his own words.

1. "Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid that someone might break in and clean them?"

2. "When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?

3. "What if there were no hypothetical questions?"

4. "If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?"

5. "Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it"

6. "Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with"

7. "Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday."

8. "Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong"

9. "Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy."

10. "Why is the man (or woman) who invests all your money called a broker?"

11. "I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death."

12. "There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past."

13. "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."

14. "As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything."

15. "I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."

And this doesn't even begin to cover his books, routines, CDs etc that are true classics. We all know about the "seven words" but did you also know that his case went to the Supreme Court in the seventies and was a footnote in the description of airwave obscenity laws? He will be missed!!