Sunday, 28 September 2008
Thursday, 25 September 2008
Stop the Stupid and Other Random Thoughts!
I am still not on the "downside" of this High Holiday nonsense, so unfortunately (or fortunately if you are so inclined!) I must continue with my abbreviated forms of postings. I am hopeful that the light is at the end of this tunnel and that I will return to my former self within a few short weeks. (The husband is also hopeful that the raging bitch that he has been living with for the last few weeks is on her way out the door!!) Both of the progeny are undoubtedly very grateful (say a few Modims boys!!) that they are way outside of the firing line this Yom Tov season. And so, I offer a few stop the stupids and a few random thoughts as we approach 5769!
1. Sarah Palin. If it wasn't so serious, the woman would be positively comical. It has been more than four weeks since her nomination, and the Republican Vice-Presidential nominee still has not faced down a real press conference. Her appearance last evening with Katie Couric was truly embarrassing. She could not come up with a single example of how John McCain has fought to control the nightmare that has become Wall Street. She visibly squirmed at Katie's questioning of how seeing Russia from her porch qualifies her in any way to speak to foreign policy issues. This woman could very well be the president of the United States within 4 years and they are protecting her like she is has the Colonel's secret recipe. There is now the very real possibility that we may see the postponement of the Vice-Presidential debate, due to her running mate's Hail Mary campaign suspension. The people need to hear from this woman. Enough already. Either she is ready or she is not, but it is time to find out. Stop the Stupid!!!
2. In the interest of equal time. Politicians of all stripes cannot seem to keep their mouths in check. Case in point, Senator Joe Biden, the Democratic Vice-Presidential nominee. Yesterday, during an interview with the aforementioned Ms. Couric, Mr. Biden ranted about the lack of leadership that the Dumbass in the Oval was displaying during this economic crisis. Comparing the present with the past, Biden yelped, "In 1929 when the stock market crashed, Franklin Roosevelt went on television and reassured the nation that things would be ok. He showed true leadership." Mr. Biden! Franklin Roosevelt wasn't the president in 1929, Herbert Hoover was. Not only that, there weren't a whole lot of televisions in US households in 1929, there were radios. OY!! So stupid!
3. Random thought! What is up with our passport pictures? Ever since 9/11, it is required to have a passport to travel outside of the country. My passport is coming due at the end of January, and since I would like to NOT be here during the worst that winter has to offer, I am making efforts to renew it now. I have mentioned the hideous nature of my passport picture before. I have literally had ticket agents and customs officials laugh at my photo. Truly!! Laugh out laugh and to my face. One poor woman at La Guardia was reduced to a quivering idiot and kept apologizing to me for her unprofessional behaviour. I have waited 5 long years to replace this nightmare of a portrait. So, it was with true excitement that I prepared to have my mugshot snapped. The husband and I prepared to go on Monday, but I found myself dozing off for 20 minutes in the afternoon and as such, my hair was in a state of flux. The husband, understanding my angst (it has been 5 years in the making) agreed to put off our excursion for 24 hours. The picture, while not anything I would submit to Vogue is marginally better than the image of Shrek's grandmother that has adorned my passport for the past half-decade. If Homeland Security or the RCMP honestly believes that this is a facially recognizable vision of me, then have at it!! Honestly, I think we all look as though we have a chronic constipation problem.
4. Random thought deux! How does one get a bruise on the sole of the foot? Not the ball, toe or heel, but the instep sole! I managed this "feat" (pun intended) this week. I have no idea how I did it, all I know is that it hurt like the fires of hell!! This gruesome looking yellowish purple mark spread hideously across the bottom of my right foot and caused me to limp for several days. I don't remember stepping on anything! I am getting old. Not only can I not recall hurting myself, but I am now hurting myself in places that were unknown to me before. Shit! The world is a cruel place.
5. John McCain owns 13 cars! Explain to me how he can in good conscience call Obama elitist? Enough said!!
6. Does anyone here in Canada still care that we go to the polls in 2 1/2 weeks? Seems very quiet! Harper is stepping all over his tongue in tightly controlled news conferences and nobody seems to care. (Average Canadians apparently don't care about the arts!! Who knew?) The best we can hope for is another Conservative minority, but I am truly scared that the worst is yet to come. This man doesn't have a hidden agenda. It is out there for the world to see and people are still going to vote for him because we are truly devoid of options. Smarten up Canada!! Get involved and realize that neo-cons are the wave of the past not the future.
A couple of moments for personal thought! Happy Birthday Dad!! I know that 70 is an age that you really wanted to come and go without much fanfare, but I can only hope that I have as much going for me at 70 as you do. You are a pistol and I wouldn't want you any other way!! Much love always.
May the year 5769 bring with it health, happiness, love, friendship and smarter people in power in both countries!!!! May we all have sweetness and good times in our lives always.
Shana Tova U'm'tukah!!
1. Sarah Palin. If it wasn't so serious, the woman would be positively comical. It has been more than four weeks since her nomination, and the Republican Vice-Presidential nominee still has not faced down a real press conference. Her appearance last evening with Katie Couric was truly embarrassing. She could not come up with a single example of how John McCain has fought to control the nightmare that has become Wall Street. She visibly squirmed at Katie's questioning of how seeing Russia from her porch qualifies her in any way to speak to foreign policy issues. This woman could very well be the president of the United States within 4 years and they are protecting her like she is has the Colonel's secret recipe. There is now the very real possibility that we may see the postponement of the Vice-Presidential debate, due to her running mate's Hail Mary campaign suspension. The people need to hear from this woman. Enough already. Either she is ready or she is not, but it is time to find out. Stop the Stupid!!!
2. In the interest of equal time. Politicians of all stripes cannot seem to keep their mouths in check. Case in point, Senator Joe Biden, the Democratic Vice-Presidential nominee. Yesterday, during an interview with the aforementioned Ms. Couric, Mr. Biden ranted about the lack of leadership that the Dumbass in the Oval was displaying during this economic crisis. Comparing the present with the past, Biden yelped, "In 1929 when the stock market crashed, Franklin Roosevelt went on television and reassured the nation that things would be ok. He showed true leadership." Mr. Biden! Franklin Roosevelt wasn't the president in 1929, Herbert Hoover was. Not only that, there weren't a whole lot of televisions in US households in 1929, there were radios. OY!! So stupid!
3. Random thought! What is up with our passport pictures? Ever since 9/11, it is required to have a passport to travel outside of the country. My passport is coming due at the end of January, and since I would like to NOT be here during the worst that winter has to offer, I am making efforts to renew it now. I have mentioned the hideous nature of my passport picture before. I have literally had ticket agents and customs officials laugh at my photo. Truly!! Laugh out laugh and to my face. One poor woman at La Guardia was reduced to a quivering idiot and kept apologizing to me for her unprofessional behaviour. I have waited 5 long years to replace this nightmare of a portrait. So, it was with true excitement that I prepared to have my mugshot snapped. The husband and I prepared to go on Monday, but I found myself dozing off for 20 minutes in the afternoon and as such, my hair was in a state of flux. The husband, understanding my angst (it has been 5 years in the making) agreed to put off our excursion for 24 hours. The picture, while not anything I would submit to Vogue is marginally better than the image of Shrek's grandmother that has adorned my passport for the past half-decade. If Homeland Security or the RCMP honestly believes that this is a facially recognizable vision of me, then have at it!! Honestly, I think we all look as though we have a chronic constipation problem.
4. Random thought deux! How does one get a bruise on the sole of the foot? Not the ball, toe or heel, but the instep sole! I managed this "feat" (pun intended) this week. I have no idea how I did it, all I know is that it hurt like the fires of hell!! This gruesome looking yellowish purple mark spread hideously across the bottom of my right foot and caused me to limp for several days. I don't remember stepping on anything! I am getting old. Not only can I not recall hurting myself, but I am now hurting myself in places that were unknown to me before. Shit! The world is a cruel place.
5. John McCain owns 13 cars! Explain to me how he can in good conscience call Obama elitist? Enough said!!
6. Does anyone here in Canada still care that we go to the polls in 2 1/2 weeks? Seems very quiet! Harper is stepping all over his tongue in tightly controlled news conferences and nobody seems to care. (Average Canadians apparently don't care about the arts!! Who knew?) The best we can hope for is another Conservative minority, but I am truly scared that the worst is yet to come. This man doesn't have a hidden agenda. It is out there for the world to see and people are still going to vote for him because we are truly devoid of options. Smarten up Canada!! Get involved and realize that neo-cons are the wave of the past not the future.
A couple of moments for personal thought! Happy Birthday Dad!! I know that 70 is an age that you really wanted to come and go without much fanfare, but I can only hope that I have as much going for me at 70 as you do. You are a pistol and I wouldn't want you any other way!! Much love always.
May the year 5769 bring with it health, happiness, love, friendship and smarter people in power in both countries!!!! May we all have sweetness and good times in our lives always.
Shana Tova U'm'tukah!!
Monday, 22 September 2008
Going Squirrelly in Suburbia!
A clarification right off of the top. I am not an animal hater. I rarely hold much animosity for our furry friends. It is true that I am not a member of PETA, nor do I wish to be, but I think that I possess a mild understanding that we two-legged creatures are merely sharing this planet with the four-legged type. We have encroached on their natural habitats and thus, we need to be mindful of the fact that they need to survive as best they can in the face of such natural calamities as strip malls, highways and subdivisions. My World Wildlife membership notwithstanding, I need some help in controlling the squirrel population that has invaded my property.
I have complained mightily in this space before about the unavoidable landlord/tenant relationship that I have with the squirrel community of north Toronto. Allow me to refresh your collective memories. We live on a tree line. When the houses were built many years ago, the integrity of the tree line was maintained so as to add to the beauty of the neighbourhood. It worked. It was certainly a selling point for us when we bought the house. As a result, we have numerous species of forestry dotting our property, including two very large oaks on the front lawn and a bosc pear tree in the back. When we first moved into the house, we were accompanied by our two boys and a very large, rambunctious and goofy yellow labrador retriever. Yellow dog took it as his responsibility to keep our property rodent-free, and as such we were not bothered by such nuisances as mice, raccoons, skunks, chipmunks or squirrels. God forbid that a bushy-tailed invader should set a toenail on the lawn! Yellow dog would bark like a maniac and chase the unfortunate creatures out of the area!! But, all life ends and we lost Yellow dog a few years back. I think that the rodent community held an underground party celebrating Yellow dog's demise, because ever since, my property has been the fruit and nut buffet of the squirrel world. The pears barely ripen before they are yanked off of the branches, nibbled on and tossed into the pool. As bad as that is, however it cannot hold a candle to the mess that theses pests are making of my oak trees.
It is acorn season in the Great White North and the squirrels are in squirrel nirvana! On any given day, my front lawn looks like Hurricane Squirrel has hit it. Whole branches and clumps of leaves are strewn all over the front of the house. Acorn shells and whole nuts litter the driveway. It resembles the shell bowl that my grandfather used to keep next to the nutcracker. The man who mows the grass and keeps the lawn neat was just here and the grass is already cluttered with the remnants of the midday squirrel meal. Worse yet, is how brazen these creatures have become. On Saturday morning as I went to retrieve the paper, I counted 7 (yes 7!!!!) of the miserable beasts brunching on my front walk. It got so bad that I actually resorted to barking like a dog in order to scare them off. I need help!! (Serious psychological care couldn't hurt either, but that is for another post!) I have presented this problem to several friends and the solutions are not what you would call squirrel-friendly. A rabbi friend of mine actually suggested a shotgun. When I pointed out to him that this wasn't exactly in the spirit of Torah, he replied that this is what they would do in the west where he was raised!! Wonderful! Gunslinging rabbi seeks work as squirrel terminator!!
Look. I don't want them dead or injured, I just want them gone from here. Don't give me poison recipes or slingshot designs. I just want to find a humane way to ask them to relocate!! I put it out to you, readers! Any ideas how to rid myself of the squirrels? I am truly going nuts!!! Big and brand new Yellow dog may be on the horizon, right husband?
Sunday, 21 September 2008
Thursday, 18 September 2008
Election Trivial Bullshit Edition of Stop the Stupid!!
Again, I am extremely pressed for time, so I will try and give you a few little hits for this week's edition of Stop the Stupid.
1. In attempting to discover how my newly legal Younger Son might register to vote in the upcoming federal election, I sought out help from the Elections Canada website. Since the FAQs didn't adequately answer my question, I sought to send them an email. After surfing through several pages, I finally came upon the address. Here is the kicker!! When I attempted to access the email, I was greeted with the message that all email to Elections Canada has been disabled until after the election!!! Huh? Isn't this their function? To answer questions from a confused public? Please don't deluge me with e-mail as to how Younger Son can vote. I figured that out on my own, no thanks to the geniuses in the civil service whose job it is to sort out election issues!!! They must think that election time is prime time for their holidays!!! STUPID!!
2. Yesterday, CNN took a full three minute segment out of their election coverage, to discuss the fashion statement that is Sarah Palin's eyeglasses. It seems as though the world at large is struck dumb with admiration over the governor's choice of ocular aids. So much so that they are sold out everywhere and there is a two month waiting list!! Tell me, why is this relevant to the election? Hasn't it become ridiculously apparent that as a society we are focusing on the trivial and ignoring the fact that this woman has yet to deal with a true Q and A? The United States is facing real problems in real world areas, and yet the focus is on stupidity like "lipstick on a pig" and her glasses! Wake up folks. You are electing the next president and vice president, not the next American Idol!!
3. Opinion polls have become a nuisance. I think that we should all take my father's approach. He and my mother have been up to their ears in polling for almost two months now, due to the fact that there was supposed to be a by-election in their riding before the general took hold. He decided that polling had become intrusive and inaccurate and he wanted to add to that ridiculousness. Whomever called his home, no matter which candidate or party they represented all received the same answer. "Can we count on your vote on election day?" "Absolutely!!" was my dad's response. Liberal, Conservative, NDP and Green all think that there are 2 sure votes coming from my parents. I think that this is a hoot. The husband and I have taken to responding in kind. If they call or come to the door, they all have our support. I love this new poll-skewing power I have discovered. It make the whole stupid process a bit more palatable.
4. How hysterically funny was the SNL skit lampooning Hillary and Sarah? I literally laughed until I peed. Tina Fey was brilliant and she nailed it. Then comes news from Republican pundits that they think that by casting Sarah as an "airhead" it was truly sexist. I consider myself a feminist and honestly I cannot figure out why this was sexist. Biting? Yes!! Satirical? Absolutely!! But, sexist? I think that the Republicans are using this as yet another red herring designed to to divert our attention from the real issues. Maybe if Ms. Palin would adequately answer some real and tough questions, instead of only being cast in scripted interviews, she might adequately put to rest the idea that she isn't prepared for the job. (Doubt it!) Pay attention folks!! The economy, health care, the war, energy are the real deal. Stop with the trivial bullshit. It is time to get serious. As Arianna Huffington stated "Sarah Palin is a Trojan Moose concealing 4 more years of Bush."
Shabbat Shalom to all who observe!!
1. In attempting to discover how my newly legal Younger Son might register to vote in the upcoming federal election, I sought out help from the Elections Canada website. Since the FAQs didn't adequately answer my question, I sought to send them an email. After surfing through several pages, I finally came upon the address. Here is the kicker!! When I attempted to access the email, I was greeted with the message that all email to Elections Canada has been disabled until after the election!!! Huh? Isn't this their function? To answer questions from a confused public? Please don't deluge me with e-mail as to how Younger Son can vote. I figured that out on my own, no thanks to the geniuses in the civil service whose job it is to sort out election issues!!! They must think that election time is prime time for their holidays!!! STUPID!!
2. Yesterday, CNN took a full three minute segment out of their election coverage, to discuss the fashion statement that is Sarah Palin's eyeglasses. It seems as though the world at large is struck dumb with admiration over the governor's choice of ocular aids. So much so that they are sold out everywhere and there is a two month waiting list!! Tell me, why is this relevant to the election? Hasn't it become ridiculously apparent that as a society we are focusing on the trivial and ignoring the fact that this woman has yet to deal with a true Q and A? The United States is facing real problems in real world areas, and yet the focus is on stupidity like "lipstick on a pig" and her glasses! Wake up folks. You are electing the next president and vice president, not the next American Idol!!
3. Opinion polls have become a nuisance. I think that we should all take my father's approach. He and my mother have been up to their ears in polling for almost two months now, due to the fact that there was supposed to be a by-election in their riding before the general took hold. He decided that polling had become intrusive and inaccurate and he wanted to add to that ridiculousness. Whomever called his home, no matter which candidate or party they represented all received the same answer. "Can we count on your vote on election day?" "Absolutely!!" was my dad's response. Liberal, Conservative, NDP and Green all think that there are 2 sure votes coming from my parents. I think that this is a hoot. The husband and I have taken to responding in kind. If they call or come to the door, they all have our support. I love this new poll-skewing power I have discovered. It make the whole stupid process a bit more palatable.
4. How hysterically funny was the SNL skit lampooning Hillary and Sarah? I literally laughed until I peed. Tina Fey was brilliant and she nailed it. Then comes news from Republican pundits that they think that by casting Sarah as an "airhead" it was truly sexist. I consider myself a feminist and honestly I cannot figure out why this was sexist. Biting? Yes!! Satirical? Absolutely!! But, sexist? I think that the Republicans are using this as yet another red herring designed to to divert our attention from the real issues. Maybe if Ms. Palin would adequately answer some real and tough questions, instead of only being cast in scripted interviews, she might adequately put to rest the idea that she isn't prepared for the job. (Doubt it!) Pay attention folks!! The economy, health care, the war, energy are the real deal. Stop with the trivial bullshit. It is time to get serious. As Arianna Huffington stated "Sarah Palin is a Trojan Moose concealing 4 more years of Bush."
Shabbat Shalom to all who observe!!
Tuesday, 16 September 2008
Thank God for Mad Men!!
There is so much bullshit going on in the world today. As I have repeatedly documented, the elections on both sides of the border have truly turned into theatre of the absurd. The economic crisis is gut-churning. The traffic congestions, health care issues and pollution messes have become front burner causes. It is enough to make any thinking person plan their escape to Fantasy Island. I have discovered a far better tonic and it comes fresh to my television every Sunday evening at 10:00 pm. I speak of course, of the wondrous little jewel from AMC called Mad Men.
If you have yet to join the ranks of the "Mad Meniacs", I need to plug this phenomenal gem of a show. Last July, as the husband and I sloshed through the sewage that was summer television, we desperately searched (it seemed in vain) for anything that wasn't geared toward the dumbasses of our society. The reality dross and the DVD experience had exhausted our intelligence to the point that we began an internet search for something (anything!!) with a modicum of smarts. I stumbled across the first 6 episodes of Mad Men and we proceeded to watch them in succession without a break. In short, we were hooked from Don Draper's first leering glance and we have been like crack addicts ever since. It is like watching Shakespeare in Kennedyesque clothing! The writing and episode constructions are nothing short of brilliant and the acting is tour de force. Jon Hamm (the cool and calculating Mr. Draper) is perfection and the supporting cast is unbelievable, from the smarmy office suck-up Pete, to the on the-edge Mrs. Cleaver-like wife, Betty. I love the spot on sets and costumes (I think that we had some of the Draper furniture in our home in 1965!) and the realistic portrayals of sexism, racism, anti-semitism, smoking, drinking, and parenting. I have heard the criticism that there is no action and that the stories are slow to unfold, but I think that those people don't appreciate the subtle brilliance that is this show. True! There is no Tony Soprano ready to whack the world. Instead, there is the brilliant Robert Morse's character dispensing the wisdoms of lily-white 1960's America while in his stocking feet! True! There are no chase scenes or cops and robbers. Instead, there is the underlying struggle between the sexes and discovering who really possesses the power. I am absolutely transfixed this season as I am watching the pieces of Don's world slowly crumble. I can't wait for the next episode.
Usually, when I enjoy a show this much, it is doomed. (See Studio 60!!) This time, I think both AMC and I are in for the long haul. Mad Men is nominated for 16 Emmys this weekend. If you haven't yet added this wonderful viewing experience to your weekly habits, I urge you to do so. Go purchase season 1 on DVD and play catch up. It is certainly worth your time. Tell them, Dawn sent you!!!
If you have yet to join the ranks of the "Mad Meniacs", I need to plug this phenomenal gem of a show. Last July, as the husband and I sloshed through the sewage that was summer television, we desperately searched (it seemed in vain) for anything that wasn't geared toward the dumbasses of our society. The reality dross and the DVD experience had exhausted our intelligence to the point that we began an internet search for something (anything!!) with a modicum of smarts. I stumbled across the first 6 episodes of Mad Men and we proceeded to watch them in succession without a break. In short, we were hooked from Don Draper's first leering glance and we have been like crack addicts ever since. It is like watching Shakespeare in Kennedyesque clothing! The writing and episode constructions are nothing short of brilliant and the acting is tour de force. Jon Hamm (the cool and calculating Mr. Draper) is perfection and the supporting cast is unbelievable, from the smarmy office suck-up Pete, to the on the-edge Mrs. Cleaver-like wife, Betty. I love the spot on sets and costumes (I think that we had some of the Draper furniture in our home in 1965!) and the realistic portrayals of sexism, racism, anti-semitism, smoking, drinking, and parenting. I have heard the criticism that there is no action and that the stories are slow to unfold, but I think that those people don't appreciate the subtle brilliance that is this show. True! There is no Tony Soprano ready to whack the world. Instead, there is the brilliant Robert Morse's character dispensing the wisdoms of lily-white 1960's America while in his stocking feet! True! There are no chase scenes or cops and robbers. Instead, there is the underlying struggle between the sexes and discovering who really possesses the power. I am absolutely transfixed this season as I am watching the pieces of Don's world slowly crumble. I can't wait for the next episode.
Usually, when I enjoy a show this much, it is doomed. (See Studio 60!!) This time, I think both AMC and I are in for the long haul. Mad Men is nominated for 16 Emmys this weekend. If you haven't yet added this wonderful viewing experience to your weekly habits, I urge you to do so. Go purchase season 1 on DVD and play catch up. It is certainly worth your time. Tell them, Dawn sent you!!!
Sunday, 14 September 2008
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