Coming to An End

It must be said that cruises are much more fun when the ship isn't pitching around from side to side like a treadmill on steroids. All of us felt much more comfortable yesterday and were finally able to enjoy our meals and evening nightlife without the threat of another sleepless night on the good ship nausea. 

The day in Grand Turk was spectacular. I love this island! All I did was lie on the stunning beach, swim in the ocean and marvel at the coral reef. As I said on Facebook, Grand Turk is the definition of wasting away in Margaritaville! I was still experiencing the not so gentle sway of the ship, so partaking in any activity more taxing was definitely out of the question, but several of our group took to the blue waters off the coast to snorkel and play with the stingrays. Highlights? I loved listening to the youngest of our group describe in vivid detail holding, touching, and swimming with the rays. You haven't lived until you have experienced new things through the wondrous eyes of a nine year old. I loved the fact that Oldest Son went snorkeling with his grandparents. My seventy-something parents swimming and seeking out the coral reef with their 24 year old grandson. Seriously, how cool is that? The Ying to my Lil Bro's Yang collected on Sister/Cousin's win at the spa yesterday and had a full pedicure treatment. It was her idea of absolute luxury. 

Following dinner the family met in one of the bars for another round of trivia, but with a twist. The category of Motown turned the entire area into a dance hall. Watching a bunch of Jews bop to the sounds of the Motor City was a hoot. Brother/Cousin's Beshert is a demon at these music categories and she and Brother/Cousin tore up the floor. My dad found a willing dance partner. A woman came over and asked my mom if she could dance with dad. Being the good sport that he is, he boogied her around the floor to the sounds of the  4 Tops and The Temptations. Pictures to follow as this is something that could only happen to  my father. 

Today we are at sea and tomorrow back on solid ground for good. Older Son and Nephew A will be collecting on the free gourmet dinner in the steakhouse   this evening, and we will all be attempting a group photo. God give me strength for that little adventure. Next stop-The Southern Home and the task of uploading my photos. What a fitting way to help celebrate 50 years of marriage-with family!!

Some More Highlights

Sorry I haven't published for a few days, but the seas have been a bit rocky and regular readers of this space know that I don't do well with motion. I haven't let it dampen my spirits, though and as we near the final days of this familial voyage, I thought it best to update the goings on of this wild and wacky clan.

Since last we met in Nassau, the ship has docked in two additional ports, La Romana Dominican Republic and San Juan Puerto Rico. While many of us checked out a small artisan village called Altos de Chacons in the D.R, The Lil Bro and his family and Sister/Cousin and her's went cave dwelling. There are some beautiful caverns in the area and the two families went to see what all the fuss was about. Truth be told, all my dad wanted to do in the Dominican was find the homes of Blue Jay greats George "kiss my purple butt" Bell and his all-time favourite Tony Fernandez. When told that they live on the other side of the country in San Pedro de Macoris, the look of disappointment on his face was so sad I almost wanted to call them myself to get them to meet the ship! Brother/Cousin took his family to the beach to see if he could actually find the gills on our youngest family member. 

This family is killer at trivia. So far we have won 4-count them 4-gold-painted ships on sticks and a gold medal. Pictures of the winning teams to follow. Yesterday following sail-a-way from San Juan, we added three more trophies to our collection. We definitely watch way too much TV, movies, Broadway musicals, and listen to our iPods all to often. I think that the poor blond crew in charge of the program is slightly tired of our Canadian faces and accents. We have entered the big on board contest. Keep you posted. 

We have also been extremely lucky. Sister/Cousin won a hundred dollar gift certificate in the spa which the Ying to my Lil Bro's yang is using today on a pedicure. Older Son attended an open bar reception last evening ( no surprise there!) and won a bottle of champagne and a free dinner at the exclusive fancy steakhouse. When asked what he did for a living and replying  in turn that he worked for a craft distiller, apparently the "not friends of Bill W." erupted in cheers.

San Juan was beautiful. The old city with it's blue cobblestones and fortress walls is a sight. Several of our group went to Barrachino's, home of the Piña Colada and indulged. Sister/Cousin and her adventurers went zip lining. I think that I heard her screams on Calle Fortaleza. Seriously, they had a ball. 

Today is my beach day in Grand Turk with The Husband, Younger Son, his Young Lady and Other Mother and Father, while many are snorkeling the coral reefs. So far we haven't killed each other and while I have lost weight on this cruise due to the rough seas, nobody is complaining. Speak from sea tomorrow.

Highlights Day 1

Trying to get 23 people to share their first day highlights is a bit like herding cats. Attempting to get the 23 members of my family to share their first day highlights is a bit like herding noisy, clumsy, drooling wild boar! In the interest of sanity and since I can only share what I gathered through the morass and haze of secondhand storytelling, I will try to hit the highlights.

Younger Son, HisYoung Lady and I had an up close and personal encounter with my now favorite dolphin of all time, Clifton. I think Clifton and I could make a wonderfully cute couple, but I would either have to enjoy life in the cold waters of the oceans off the coast of Nassau, or else he would have to be content living in my bathtub. Then of course there is the issue of what we would do with The Husband, but something tells me that Clifton is man enough to take him on! In all seriousness it was a magic moment that will live within me forever. Because of limited interweb access onboard ship, the photos of me with my new honey will have to wait a week. 
Sister/Cousin and her brood went parasailing and her Photographer has the pictures to prove it! Spectacular!! He is available for Bar Mitzvahs and weddings. Book now! I have come to wonder about the Judaic credentials of that family. Every last one of them cries out for action and adventure that is very un-Jewish. We are a nomadic people, not a rock-climbing, bungee-jumping tribe! We hire people to do that stuff for us. That said, hearing the stories of her squealing in terror while perched on a board with her 16 year old son, had me gripped with laughter. I can't wait to hear if she passes out on the zip line in San Juan!
My Dad, Older Son, Brother Cousin, my nephew and I absolutely kicked ass at the sports trivia contest after we set sail from Nassau. Our all Canuck team blew away the Yankee competition at their own sports history with nary a single hockey question. We knew we had it in the bag when we correctly answered the question "What is the most common nickname amongst U.S college sports teams?" I will leave you to ponder that one. Answer will be provided at the end of the next post. Our prize? A gold ship on a stick which we plan to parade around like the Stanley Cup and each keep on our mantle for an equal period of time. Once again, photos to follow!!
Thank you to my friend the Choir Director who took it upon herself to fete us last evening with wine and totally blew the boxers off of my parents with special anniversary cakes. The waiters came over and sang-at least they claimed it was singing-and my mother turned all shades of red. My father drank up the attention as his nature, and the kids devoured the cakes. You are the queen, my friend!
Today we are trying to keep our ballast at sea, me more than most. So far so good. Calm seas and beautiful weather at present and ahead. Keep you all posted.

The Mother of All Family Vacations

Six months ago when The Husband, The Little Bro, The Ying to his Yang and Yours Truly were faced with my parents approaching 50th wedding anniversary, we were truly stumped on a method of celebration. The folks had made it pretty clear that a big shindig was out of the question, (actually they were so outwardly forceful in their dissent that I feared for my very safety) and that whatever plans we made had to take place in The Southern Home because they had absolutely no intentions of returning to Toronto in December! When I suggested a family cruise I was met with an extremely tepid response. School schedules would never mesh, I was told. Fun in the sun is not everybody's idea of a vacation. Nevertheless I was charged with investigating and, with immense help from my dear friend The Choir Director,(she only moonlights as a travel agent!) we found a cruise that would allow all to travel at the same time with minimal school absences. It was time to ask Mom and Dad how they felt about it.

Mom: Other Parents too?

Me: Absolutely!!

Mom: Sister/Cousin and her family and Brother/Cousin and his?

Me: As long as the are willing they are welcome!

Before I had even hung up the phone, Sister/Cousin called and said that she and her brood were in. I still maintain that she was listening in on a party line! It took some doing but by the end of October, 23 of us were booked. Yesterday, we arrived at the port-wearing matching t-shirts to thoroughly embarrass my parents-and checked in for a week long stay aboard The Carnival Freedom. It is impossible for 23 Jews to agree on what colour the sky is let alone on what constitutes fun, but we will manage! We have two large tables in the dining room and believe it or not, we are not the noisiest nor are we the most obnoxious in spite of my father's constant efforts to the contrary. So far there is something for everybody. 

What has  been truly amazing to me is the constant ebb and flow of conversations. The kids have become rather spread out lately due  to university commitments, and some haven't been in the same city for over 2 years. Watching them all interact and reconnect has been my favorite part of this experience so far. It really doesn't matter if the food is great or if the shows are cheesy, what really matters is that we are all together celebrating for Mom and Dad! 

I will attempt to update a few times throughout the trip. In the meantime, pray for us that we survive the "family experience of a lifetime!!"

My Special Piece of Chanukah

As we prepare to begin the festival of Chanukah, I have been following the excitement all day amongst my friends and family through Facebook, Twitter, email and other forms of social media. It always interests me in how people celebrate holidays and which customs remain important throughout their lives. Whether it is the visceral odour of latkes cooking, the lighting of the Chanukiah, the music, or the gifting that tends at times to go somewhat overboard, every single one of us has a tradition that absolutely must be carried forward or else "it just isn't Chanukah!" Today I was reminded of mine.

This is my mother's Chanukiah.

                                             

It is the Chanukiah that we always lit when I was a child and it is the Chanukiah that my parents continue to light and carry with them wherever they are in the world for Chanukah. Today I watched as my mother brought it out and set up the candles in preparation for this evening, just like I used to do when I was a kid. It brought back a hundred different memories all at once. I love this piece. It isn't the most beautiful Chanukiah I have ever seen, but it is the most special to me. I always knew that the piece was given to my mother by her father, but until today I never delved further into the story.

It seems that my grandfather, a jack of many trades throughout his lifetime, was working as a travelling salesman shortly after the war in the late 1940s. He happened upon one of his customers who drew him into conversation and soon discovered that he was Jewish. She brought out this Chanukiah and told him that it had been smuggled out of Holland just before or during World War II. She had no idea what it was but she knew that it was of some significance, and wondered if my grandfather might like to have it. He took it gratefully, and it remained in my grandparents' home until my grandmother moved in with my family after my Zaidy's death. My mother inherited it from her mother.

Years later during one of my parents' many trips, they happened upon other Chanukiot just like it in a museum in Amsterdam. My mother was so excited that she took photos of those to show all of us at home. Until today, she never told me the story and I never knew the significance of the piece.

It has always surprised me the myriad of Chanukiot that are available today, many of which I find to be quite tacky. I could never imagine lighting Chanukah candles with Bart Simpson or Mickey Mouse as the Shamash. When The Husband and I were searching for a Chanukiah of our own, I always came back to the traditional designs that were inspired by this particular and special piece of family folklore. Tonight as we light the first lights together with my parents, I will be marvelling at uniqueness of our Chanukiah and what it means to both my mother and me.

חג שמח to all who observe!!

50 Years and Counting.....

I have really struggled with the writing of this post. It shouldn't have been all that difficult. I mean, really! How many couples do you know that have managed to make the 50 year anniversary line, and how many of those are actually related to you? My parents will be celebrating this auspicious milestone this coming Saturday and since we won't actually be in the same city until Sunday, I really wanted to recognize the day in print. But the writing gods have been tremendously unkind and have afflicted me with a block at the exact moment when eloquence is desperately required. You see...I felt that I needed a hook, a literary device to express exactly what I am feeling and to hopefully make the post more interesting to you the readers. Maybe a bit of satire or comedy? But then I realized that this nonsense was horseshit. What really matters isn't the flowery language in which I couch my emotions. It is the occasion itself.

There will be ample celebratory moments for our family over the next couple of weeks as we all arrive in the Southern Home to fete Mom and Dad, but the actual day is being planned as a low-key affair. When I asked how they planned to spend Saturday, my mother answered in typically understated fashion "I am thinking chicken wings, pizza, and maybe The Big Bang Theory on Tivo." When The Little Bro and The Ying to his Yang put together an invitation for a small party being thrown down here, they used my parents wedding picture as part of the design. My mother strenuously objected. Not just because she loathes their wedding picture (too long a story for this post, believe me!) but she really wanted to keep the occasion light, fun, and devoid of mush. My sister-in-law always the artist and ever the smartass, replaced the photo with this:

My mother loved it. It was exactly in keeping with how she and Dad want to celebrate.

My parents are not the centre of attention sorts. (Ok! Dad is-but he shares this particular centre with Mom.) They don't want speechifying or toasts. They aren't into slideshows or big parties, and most of all the dictum came down from on high that "there are to be absolutely no syrupy recollections." For them, it is all about celebrating with family and close friends and that is exactly what we plan to do. But as is my nature as oldest child and obstinate daughter, I just could not let this Saturday pass without a few thoughts. So here are some random thoughts about 50 years with my Mom and Dad.

50 years of Dad telling stories and 50 years of Mom correcting his tall tales.
50 years of Dad screaming about nothing and 50 years of Mom laughing about it later.
50 years of Dad losing stuff and 50 years of Mom finding it.
50 years of Dad getting lost and 50 years of Mom digging him out of his self-created holes and getting him back on course.
50 years of Dad telling jokes and 50 years of Mom fixing the botched punchlines.
50 years of Mom taking classes and 50 years of Dad reaping the benefits.
50 years of Mom baking and cooking and 50 years of her telling Dad that he can't eat any of it.
50 years of travelling the world together and 50 years of Dad meeting people he knows in all corners.
50 years of technology and 50 years of Mom trying to idiot proof it all for Dad.
50 years with Other Mother and Other Father and 50 years of developing a relationship that is unique to the outside world.
50 years of public displays of affection.
50 years of kvetching and 50 years of thanking a higher power that those kvetches aren't much worse.
50 years with 2 kids, 1 son-in-law, 1 daughter-in-law, 5 grandchildren, 2 other kids and spouses whom they treat as their own, 5 great-nephews and great-nieces who think of them as Bubby and Zaidy, and countless other family members and friends who love and respect them.

Not a bad legacy for 50 years of marriage.

Yesterday, when discussing this anniversary with my mother she told me a story that she heard while attending Susan Werner's concert last weekend. It seems that Susan recently lost her grandmother who hit the century mark and then some. She shared some of her grandmother's wisdom with the audience. When asked the secret to a successful marriage, Susan's grandma replied "choose someone that you can live with and not someone that you can't live without." My parents figured that nugget out a long time ago. They adore living, loving, and laughing together and my guess is that they wouldn't have changed much in the last 50 years. Ok! Maybe my father's temper tantrums and my mother's guilt trips could have found their way to the trash, but other than that....NOTHING! Happy 50th Mom and Dad. May you continue to embrace every single day as if it were a gift. Too mushy? Too bad.

Love, Dawn (Your first born, obstinate, opinionated, strong-willed daughter that you made in your images!)

Where are the Women??

This past summer The Husband and I made our first pilgrimage to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland. I will admit that we had ulterior motives in making the five hour drive around the lake that didn't involve visiting the shrine, but while we were there we knew that we needed to finally see the place. It was a fantastic experience and one that I would gladly repeat again and again. A music lover's paradise. One of my greatest thrills during our trip to the Rock Hall was viewing the remarkable exhibit set up to honour Women Who Rock. It was like Cleveland knew I was coming and designed a special showcase just for me. We spent hours perusing and listening to all of the greats. It was pure joy.

We finally made our way into the screening room to view the film that honours all of the hall's inductees. I enjoyed it thoroughly, but was tremendously dismayed at the dearth of women who have actually been inducted into the hall. Did you know that while the Rock Hall has been open since 1983, it took until 1987 for them to induct their first woman, Aretha Franklin? There have been 619 total people inducted and only a handful of them women, some of whom were members of bands that were ushered in collectively like The Mamas and the Papas or Fleetwood Mac.

So I need to ask the question, "Where are the Women"? Where are the likes of Heart, Pat Benatar, Linda Ronstadt, Carole King (as a performer), Cyndy Lauper, Donna Summer, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, The GoGos, Janet Jackson, or The Carpenters? And this is just a list of the obviously missing. How does a group like the Red Hot Chili Peppers make it this year and not the Wilson sisters who paved the way for them? One might start to wonder if a gender bias exists in Cleveland?

Look it is obvious that rock and roll has traditionally been a guy's game, but women have forced their way into the picture and can no longer and should no longer be ignored. These omissions are neon-lighted slights that need to be corrected. Will they also ignore Melissa Etheridge when she becomes eligible next year? Travesties!

While we wait and hope for these errors to be corrected, we can and should acknowledge the great Laura Nyro who made the cut this year as the ONLY woman inductee. In the meantime, if you have a chance to get to the Rock Hall to see the Women in Rock exhibit I highly recommend it. It is on display until February 2012.