I am not a superhero movie fan at all.
I have seen the odd Superman flick (Christopher Reeves was a beautiful man) and will cop to loving Tobey Maguire as Spider-Man but, mostly, I find them stupid and loud. That said, I did raise two boys to men who love this shit, so one could say that I am definitely Marvel/DC adjacent. I have seen a few of these flicks that have over-saturated the movie market for the last decade but I do struggle with the connections, histories, and origin stories. Also, I get my Chris-es mixed up. Hemsworth, Evans, Pratt, Pine...they're all in this mess somewhere. Was there some edict handed down by Hollywood studios that you can't front a superhero movie unless your name is Chris? And to make matters worse, Chris Evans plays one role in The Fantastic 4 and a totally different one in Captain America. There are three incarnations of Spider-Man, two of The Fantastic 4 and two of The Incredible Hulk. Don't even get me started on Superman and Batman. It is also important to mention that The Husband HATES this stuff with a passion that is hot and deep, so watching any of these films has to be a solo activity.
But, I'm bored and tired of baking things, so I thought that a new viewing hobby might pass the time a bit quicker. The term "quicker" is relative here.
I was in conversation with Younger Son last week and I asked him to explain a bit of the mythology that comes from the Marvel Universe. After some back and forth, it became obvious that in order to be able to fully engage in this bullshit, I needed to watch these films in some semblance of order. Younger Son, a self-described and extremely proud geek, sent me a Marvel list along with his Disney+ subscription. Since we are still technically in lockdown, I've started to make my way through this morass of "entertainment". I am four films into his list and am stunned that I can probably reduce each film to a description/review of fifteen words or less. So, that's what I'm going to do. After every film viewed, I will post a fifteen-word or less synopsis of it both here and on my Facebook page. (Give me a follow if you want to read them.)
A few initial impressions after my first quartet.
1. These movies are ridiculously loud but only for the special effects and music. The dialogue isn't. I am forever adjusting the volume so that I can hear the lines. At one point during Thor, I realized that the dialogue really wasn't all that important.
2. These movies are also incredibly dark. There are entire scenes when I have to sit within inches of the screen in order to discern the action.
3. I am amazed at the number of A-list actors that signed on for these flicks. The money and exposure are really that good. I have counted six Oscar winners amongst my first four films and several more nominees. Marvel is a very lucrative gig for an actor.
4. The interconnections and planning of these films are kind of brilliant.
5. I love the Stan Lee cameos. It is a bit like searching for Hitchcock. I haven't made my way to any of the movies made after his death. I'm going to miss him.
Ok...Here goes. Dawn's Marvel Movie Reviews in fifteen words or less.
1. Iron Man (2008)
Tony Stark is a colossal asshole. Gwyneth Paltrow's career has gone to goop.
2. The Incredible Hulk (2008)
Bruce Banner's morose. Lou Ferrigno's apparently the only person who can voice Hulk. Hulk Smash.
3. Iron Man 2 (2010)
Terrence Howard out, Don Cheadle in. I wasn't fooled.
4. Thor (2011)
The cutest Chris is Hemsworth. Lots of frozen monsters.
5. Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)
Favourite so far. Evans is the erudite Chris. Tucci and Nazis.
6. The Avengers (2012)
Getting the band together. Loki a man of mischief. Hulk's always angry. Loved it!
7. Iron Man 3 (2013)
Demons. Sir Ben's a red herring actor. Tony/Pepper save each other. Meh.
8. Thor: The Dark World (2013)
This film defines why the genre is hated. Hot Thor. Idris, hotter. Loathed it.
9. Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)
Cap's my favourite Avenger. Moral. Redford homage to Condor. Natasha's character rounded. Fun flick.
10. Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)
Space movies not my jam. Pratt's the fun Chris. Raccoon > squirrel. Really enjoyable.
11. Avengers: Age of Ultron (2105)
Lots of explosions. Lots of heart. I prefer stand-alone films. Hawkeye gets a story.
12. Ant-Man (2015)
Marvel's caper movie. I love caper movies. I love Paul Rudd. Totally charming.
13. Captain America: Civil War (2016)
Too many characters and stories. Cap's still my favourite. The moral compass. Wakanda forever.
14. Dr. Strange (2016)
Marvel's Kung Fu. Mystic religiousism. Great cast. The Avengers needed faith and belief.
15. Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol 2 (2017)
Guardians fan. Music's a character. Kurt's a great villain. Father/Son dynamic is great.
16. Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
3rd incarnation of Spidey. Teenager funster version. Avenger learns on the job. Charming.
17. Thor: Ragnarok (2017)
Taika Watiti makes everything fun. Cate Blanchett is a great villain. I loved it!
18. Black Panther (2018)
Chadwick was a star. My favourite so far. Wakanda Forever.
19. Avengers: Infinity War (2018)
I prefer stand-alone films. Too many stories. Humourous but too disjointed. Thanos is meh.
20. Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018)
Paul Rudd is still charming. Pretty standard fare. Two hours of escapism is good.
21. Captain Marvel (2019)
First female-fronted film. Bad-ass Brie. Annette and Jude are excellent villains.
22. Avengers: Endgame (2019)
Really stupid. Blows up everything. Sacrifice and idiocy. I prefer stand-alone films.
23. Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019)
Holland is charming. Zendaya is dark. Gyllenhall is a sexy villain. Blows shit up.
Check back in this space at your leisure. I will keep updating.
