**Warning: I plan on cussing extensively in this piece. If you can't handle the language, I suggest you click someplace else.**
2016...yeah...good riddance to bad karma.
I am ready to turn the page on this tortuous trip around the sun and to kick its ass into the netherworld of history. May your misery forever be confined to far-flung recesses of the internet and perhaps the occasional black hole.
I am so over much of what this year has wrought, that it would be impossible to state in just a few paragraphs how little fucks I have left to give to anything right now. This year has so fucked with my psyche that it is kind of amazing that I'm not in a permanently drugged-addled coma. That said, I thought that before my next birthday (Thursday. Get your gift orders in early) I might share those things that have permanently left my "give a fuck about" list in 2016.
10 Things that I Seriously No Longer Give a Fuck About..Thanks 2016!
1) Meetings. Really. I mean it. Don't invite me. I probably won't show up anyway. I am well past my organizational "best-before" date and I have very little left in the tank. I am over it. Let somebody else deal with the shit. I'm kind of done.
2) The Bathroom Scale. I threw it away. I did. Really. And I refused to let my doctor tell me my weight when I went for my recent physical. Unless there is a medical reason for me to worry (and my clothes still fit)...Fuck it!
3) Worrying about eating breakfast foods for breakfast. I hate breakfast foods. I loathe oatmeal, pancakes, french toast, cereal, yogurt, and the like. I want to eat what I want to eat when I want to eat it. So I've started eating leftovers from dinner and Ben and Jerry's vegan ice cream for my morning meal. My metabolism has never been better.
4) Assholes. I have come to the conclusion that my life is simply too short to put up with the toxicity that comes from dealing with miserable farbissenas. (Yiddish. It basically means assholes.) You know that person complaining about their burger at the community BBQ that you spent all week planning? Yah...fuck 'em.
5) Rationalizations. Stop explaining your bullshit to me. If you feel so guilty about your decision that you have to constantly defend it to me, you probably made a poor one in the first place....and you know it. I simply don't care about your guilty conscience. Deal with it.
6) Bigots, racists, and misogynists. Fuck you all and the leaders you've enabled. Corbyn, Le Pen, Bannon, Leitch, Ford, Putin, and.....PEOTUS. Miserable people all.
7) Positive affirmation statements. (And while we're at it...mantras!) If you need them, keep them to yourself. Stop sharing them on social media. Stop posting those fucking idiotic memes. I prefer my realistic view of the world and that includes sadness. It makes me appreciate the happiness even more.
8) Clickbait and fakenews sites. Left and right. They both suck. You know it's bullshit if you haven't seen it in a real newspaper or on a real newschannel. Stop polluting the atmosphere with your fucking sea of information flotsam and jetsam.
9) Junk science. If you come at me with your bullshit, unscientific, and unsupported crap, I will shut you down faster than you can say homeopathy. I just don't have time to give a fuck.
10) People who don't give a fuck about me. I will go to the ends of the earth for those whom I love and care about. If you demonstrate to me by actions, words, or deeds that you aren't one of those...we're done. No anger, no misery, no hostility. Just done. I'm too tired to care about those who don't.
Did I offend you? Sorry...not sorry. If 2016 has taught me anything it's that life is too short to worry about the bullshit. I simply no longer give a fuck.