Sunday, 6 July 2014

You Know You're a Tourist in Newfoundland When...

After 10 days of travelling around this province I have learned a few things. The Islanders can spot the tourists a mile away. How do they do it, you may ask? Check it out in the latest edition of...


  • Everybody in the local pub is eating moose burgers, moose stew, Jiggs Dinner, and cod tongues and you are eating a salad.
  • You are the conspicuous idiots in town holding your cell phones aloft searching for service. This is especially true if your carrier is Rogers.
  • When you complain vociferously that the totality of your moose sightings on the highway is limited to a solitary baby with no discernible antlers.
  • When you can't understand the directions to the washroom even though the nice woman who gave them to you spoke English.
  • You begin to marvel at the fact that most small towns here have more churches than fire trucks.
  • Potholes become a bigger and more dangerous road hazard to you than are other cars and drivers, and you let out audible sighs of relief at the very scarce 500 metres of freshly paved asphalt.
  • You squeal like a seven-year-old girl with a new puppy at the sight of every single iceberg in every single bay across the entire province.
  • You spend a Saturday evening of your vacation partying in a motel room with your friends, a bag of nacho chips, a jar of salsa, and a fifth of Wisers because that's all that there is to do in St. Bride's.
  • You actually consider buying that kind of cute puffin bottle opener you spotted inThe craft shop/tourist trap in Bonavista.
  • It's nine degrees Celsius outside with a brisk windchill and you are the only people in town NOT wearing shorts and a tank top.
  • When you are surprised that every gas station has a liquor store.
  • You are stunned at the pleasant nature and authenticity of the locals and you notice that nobody has honked a horn or flipped you the bird in almost ten days.
  • I invite my travel companions to add their own observations in the comment section. This has been an amazing journey. We will come back from away soon b'y.

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