Friday, 4 July 2014

Newfoundland Truisms

A few truisms from The Rock.


Everything is picturesque here. Even an abandoned pile of lobster traps can make for an incredible photo. I have surmised on more than one occasion as to what this province must look like in the winter. I shudder at the thought.


There is very little room for subtlety. When a native Islander wants something, they tell you immediately. Today we were sitting on the porch of a small pub in the remote fishing village of Salvage. (That's pronounced Sal-vah-ge, just in case you were wondering.) Twin Son was blocking the path of a not so tiny waitress as she attempted to make her way to a far table. She looked him square in the eye and said with complete sincerity and humour "Whose you think youse looking at, b'y?" She basically meant that there was no way that she was going to squeeze through unless he moved. We fell off our chairs laughing with her.


Nobody has any thought about distances. We decided that we would only drive about 4 of the 7 hours that it was going to take us to get from Gros Morne to Cape St. Mary. As a result we decided to stop this afternoon in Glovertown. (That rhymes with Clovertown.) We were told by our host Keith to drive a short while and we would find Salvage, the most photographed fishing village in Canada, (who am I to argue with Keith) and another short hop would take us to Sandy Cove. Well, we covered more miles during this "quick jogs" than we did over the last hour of our drive on the Trans-Canada. Nothing is close here, but people live in their vehicles and don't seem to mind.


The Atlantic Ocean is "frickin' freezing" here. Twin Son's Better Half finally got her chance to stick her feet in the water at Sandy Cove. Her utterly priceless reaction was that it was "foot-numbing" and certainly not Florida's Atlantic Ocean. It must be all those icebergs that we are still seeing in copious numbers.


Do you remember that priceless scene in My Big Fat Greek Wedding, when Andrea Martin's character looks incredulously at John Corbett when he tells her that he's a vegetarian and then she informs him no worries, she'll make lamb? Well, that has been the reaction of most servers to The Husband and me when we have ordered salad for dinner. What's the matter? We''ll make you somes fish, missus! It just doesn't seem to be on the radar for restaurants here. Oh well. Nobody said an alternative diet choice was going to be easy.


It must be some kind of law here that everybody who runs a B&B must be an extroverted quirky character with personality right out of an Alice Munro short story. Keith, like Preston before him, has made our B&B experience more than pleasurable and certainly worthy of praise. The Lilac Inn is a beautifully appointed old manor with all of the modern conveniences. He has been a true gentleman and a wonderful tour guide. These two guys have done their province proud. Trip Advisor is going to see some raves from these Ontarians.




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