OY!! What a day I've had. You be the judge. Dayenu! (On Passover we say Dayenu!-It would have been enough. Trust me. Today? It would have been enough!)
Had I only had a decent night's sleep? Dayenu!
Had I only woken refreshed and not cranky? Dayenu!
Had I only been able to sit in the sun today reading and not fallen asleep in my chair? Dayenu!
Had falling asleep in my chair not caused a sunburned face? Dayenu!
Had my sunburned face not caused a more than painful experience in the shower? Dayenu!
Had my less than satisfying shower and cranky behaviour not caused me to drop body lotion all over my bathmat? Dayenu!
Had the unclean bathmat been easily cleaned? Dayenu!
Had I not needed to throw said bathmat into my faulty washing machine? Dayenu!
Had I not absent-mindedly closed the laundry room door after starting the machine? Dayenu!
Had my bathmat been properly centred in the machine and the machine not decided to go for a walk? Dayenu!
Had the walking washing machine not blocked the closed laundry room from the inside? Dayenu!
Had the other door on the outside of the laundry room opened and not been painted shut? Dayenu!
Had the hinges on the laundry room door been on the outside as opposed to the inside? Dayenu!
Had the washing machine been empty rather than filled with water making the machine twice as heavy to attempt to move? Dayenu!
Had this event/catastrophe happened before 5:00 pm so that the engineering people in the building were still here working? Dayenu!
Had any of the people I brought in to attempt said move had an arm reach longer than a strand of linguine? Dayenu!
Had I been born with an easy going nature rather than type A so that the idea of a blocked laundry room door with a wet bathmat held within didn't drive me to distraction as we headed out to dinner? Dayenu!
Had our dinner companions reached us to inform of their illness before we drove all the way up to Lauderdale? Dayenu!
Had I been able to ignore the situation upon my return? Dayenu!
Had I thought enough to call my 6'5" neighbour with the point guard reach 3 hours earlier so that he could reach around the door, turn off the machine, empty the water, and finally move the f*@#ing tin box away from the door so that I could finally access the room and retrieve the smelly wet bathmat? Dayenu!
Lessons learned from this experience? I need a new washer and dryer. I need a locksmith to open the other door from the laundry room. Never close the laundry room door while the old appliances are still here and when in doubt--SIZE DOES MATTER!!!