Wednesday, 17 March 2010

The Absurdity Continues

It is true that I haven't posted in a while. This point of fact is mostly due to a severe case of writer's block that has somewhat paralyzed me for a few weeks. It is also partly due to the fact that I simply have been unwilling to engage in some of the most disturbing current events. It would be so easy to comment extensively on Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu's less than hospitable behaviour towards his guests, but I deemed the argument less than worthy of my attention, and frankly I really don't have the energy to spar about it at the present time. The continually pitched battle for the conscience of the American people that is manifesting itself through the final throes of the health care and financial reform bills, has made me realize that while I am a grateful and continual visitor to this magnificent country, there is no place like home. (Please friends-don't take that as an offense. It is just that when one grows up with universal health care, a social safety net, financial regulations and a social equality for all peoples regardless of sexual orientation, it is sometimes difficult to fathom what all of the spewing and venting is about! For me it is like fighting battles that were already won decades ago.) No, I really haven't had the strength nor the inclination to enter the fray on these debates at the present time, but I reserve the right to change my mind on a whim. That said, I decided that in order to initiate the process of unblocking the prosaic juices, I would instead focus on some of the more absurd items I have come across recently.

  • ABBA has been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Now, while I am the farthest thing from an ABBA fan and frankly, I view their induction as something akin to listening to dogs barking Christmas carols, I cannot legitimately argue that they weren't ridiculously popular, (and still are-much to my abject horror!) huge sellers, and a global phenomenon. The absurdity in this came in the form of a tweet from Billboard magazine yesterday that wondered when some of today's stars like Lady Gaga and Beyonce might be eligible for the Hall. Oh, please. If the listening public is looking for recent artists that can reasonably be mentioned in the someday legend category, they might like to consider Pink, The Black Eyed Peas, John Mayer, (personal douchebag-amazing artist!) or Coldplay. Much of the rest is simply dross. (That is my personal shout out to St. Patrick's Day!)
  • One-time Toronto city council wunderkind and erstwhile mayoral candidate Adam Giambrone has once again found himself on the wrong side of absurdity. After getting his "hand" caught in somebody else's cookie jar other than that of his longtime live-in girlfriend, Giambrone had to withdraw from this year's mayoralty race due to the bad optics of his situation. If that weren't bad enough, the poor boy took tremendous heat for not simultaneously resigning his chairmanship of the Toronto Transit Commission and is now viewed in the press as the ultimate lame-duck. Today it was revealed that Giambrone, the transit chair, spent more than $3000.00 on taxis, with $2400.00 of that coming from his publicly funded office expenses. All this while the citizens of Toronto have graciously provided him with a free Metropass. One of these rides was for "a trip home after taping an episode of his Ride The Rocket TV show on a streetcar." What a colossal moron. Mr. Giambrone might indeed be a talented man with youth, energy and a tremendous vision for the city, but he is an inept politician. My advice would be to retire for a few years and come back to start again fresh.
  • Tums antacids have found their way onto the "banned substances" list for Pesach 5770. Apparently, according to the Chicago Rabbinical Council, the largest Orthodox council in North America, antacids require Pesach certification and Tums do not meet the requirements. Please rebbe! Not the Tums! I can't think of a time of year when I require them more. (She says tongue planted firmly in cheek!) I will not get into another discussion of absurdity and disparity of Passover eating habits, but I will point you towards my post of a year ago on the subject. Enjoy.
  • Tiger Woods is returning to competitive golf at Augusta for The Masters in three weeks time. Let the Allelujahs ring out and let those who worship at the altar of greed and celebrity begin their happy dances. Who gives a flying f@#*! Tiger is a once in a generation golfer and a pretty decent pitchman, but his return is being heralded as if Moses was returning to walk the earth. (I am a Jew. I can't abide the Second Coming!) The salaciousness of the Tiger story is truly disgusting, and the amount of ink and time wasted on this crap is appalling. Tiger Woods doesn't owe anybody anything, with the marked exception of his wife and maybe a few sponsors. He wasn't elected to office like any of the numerous scumbags that have broken the public trust, nor did he steal billions like the pirates of Wall Street. He plays golf. Pure and simple. If his wife chooses to make him sleep in a bunker for the next year, that is between her and him. Butt out, people.
  • In what I believe is the most tragically absurd story of the past two weeks, a young man jogging on the beach in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina yesterday was struck and killed by a small private plane attempting to make an emergency landing. Apparently the man's back was to the distressed vehicle and his iPod prevented him from hearing the roar of the engines. This story made me recall the old HBO show Six Feet Under which began every episode with a death. Some were quiet and some were tragic. Some were goofy and some bordered on absurd. This poor man's death needs to serve as a reminder that we are all but visitors for a short while.
My self-imposed deadline for all Pesach ideas is rapidly approaching. If you have anything that you wish to share, it needs to find its way to me by Friday. Thanks to the Sister/Cousin who has shared a few nuggets.

Hopefully I won't be away for as long next time. If the absurdity continues, I will probably be back online this evening.


  1. Glad to have you back. I have missed your wit and wisdom. Here is another absurdity for you to ponder...Why on earth would anyone release Corey Haim's mothers 911 call to the public? What ever happened to privacy? I am truly appauled - ok go Dawn go!


  2. Hi Dawn,
    Since the Raptors are losing by 35 points in only the 3rd quarter, alas, I need a diversion to not entirely waste a Friday night.
    Well.. the Tiger story.....
    America loves its them up and make them fall.
    CBS, televising the Masters....their stock went up 9% yesterday.
    The Masters will have more people viewing than the Super Bowl.

    Time for tiger to stop sharing his putter and begin his relaunch of Tiger Inc.