Sunday, 22 November 2009

I Require Remedies for Sore Legs

A few more quick hit thoughts from the final day of the food and wine show.

1. I absolutely hate dance music. The constant backbeat emanating from the bartending school directly across from our booth is enough to make me puncture my eardrums with a rusty spoon and relish the bleed! Not only that, they have been playing the same 20 songs on a mix loop all weekend long. I used to enjoy Kid Rock's "Sweet Home Alabama All Summer Long". I think that I have heard the f$&@ing song 50 times in the past 36 hours. Guantanamo could learn a few things from the school of mixology!

2. The world is definitely divided into 2 classes-douchebags and everybody else. Most people coming to the booth have been absolutely lovely. They are kind, respectful, and eager to taste the product. And then there are the miscreants better left in the garbage holes they crawled out from. I have been perpetually stunned by the assholes who cannot seem to grasp the legal mandate of a measured pour. We have had a few belligerents try everything from bribery to threats attempting to induce an extra half a ounce from the boys. Douchebags are douchebags whether they are drunk or sober.

3. There is definitely an underworld of deal-making that happens at these shows. The guys have become friends with our neighbours in the extreme bean/Caesar rimmer booth to our left. Together we are mixing up a wicked Caesar! We are also a bit ticked off at the bartending school for actively pushing our competition, even after a very pleasant conversation that we hoped would even the playing field. No such luck. I believe that money has changed hands.

4. Finally, my legs are screaming at me for relief. After four consecutive days and nights of standing, they feel as though they have been whipped continuously with leather lashes at a high rate of speed and then bathed in vinegar. My knees are as rigid as the tinman's before the oilcan. I am not unused to sore legs. I walk or run several miles a week for exercise, but this is a new kind of misery. Any remedies from the masses are welcome.

Four hours and counting. If you have yet to buy a bottle of Still Waters Vodka, get to a store near you today or check them out at

No comments:

Post a Comment