Thursday, 4 December 2008

What to do during Proroguing?

It is now official! The parliament of Canada has temporarily been put on hiatus so that the Prime Minister and his cronies can come up with a new strategy for the country that doesn't involve a gigantic pissing contest. Members of Parliament have been told to return home until January 26th, when, according to "his highness in a sweater vest", the business of the government will resume with the tabling of the federal budget. And, while the Governor General didn't make it easy for Stephen the Arrogant, (she made him sweat out a two hour meeting!) she really did make the only decision that she logically could make. So, now that our elected officials have an eight week paid vacation, (because God forbid that their salaries, pensions or benefit packages should have been prorogued!!) I thought that I might suggest a few ideas of how they might spend their time productively. Feel free to add your own ideas.

  • Relationship counseling. This is not merely a suggestion, but I believe it should be a moral imperative for all of our elected officials, especially the leaders. Stick the four idiots in a room and force them to listen to their self-important and self-promoting speeches to the house, and their less than decorous responses to their colleagues over and over again on a continuous loop. (We've all had to!!) They should all be forced to apologize to each other, all of us, and then develop a strategy to work by. It is no less than we would expect from our bickering children or feuding spouses. We should demand it from the assholes that we were stupid enough to elect. After everyone has re-holstered their manhood, they should be impelled to remember some basic differences between a parliamentary system and a republic. Canadians as a whole did not elect Stephen Harper, the good folks of Calgary West did. He is Prime Minister by virtue of his heading up the party with the most seats. He is only one of 308 Members of the House of Commons and if his government has lost the confidence of the Parliament, it is well within the democratic principles laid out by our Constitution for the Opposition to bring it down. This is not a coup d'etat, but rather a perfectly legal, if maybe somewhat transparent, maneuver, but this is what all of the leaders signed on for when they ran for office, so gentlemen (and I use that term loosely) "get thee to a shrink." A bit of new-age kumbayaing is definitely called for right about now.
  • Knit. Knitting is not only nerve-calming and extremely soothing, it is productive. Knitting circles are popping up all over the place. Why not stick every MP into a knitting circle? It would force them to relate personally to their constituents, and the products of their labours could be donated to homeless shelters, hospitals and Goodwill. Winter is here with a vengeance, why not put some of that free time to good use by making winter a bit warmer for those less fortunate.
  • Snow removal. There are many individuals in my neighbourhood alone, who are not in any physical shape to safely clear their driveways. I suggest that we put the MPs to work shoveling. They are quite used to shoveling, only snow is colder! Think of the money that could be saved by our cities if we put the Members to work clearing the ice!
  • Litter clean-up. Put them to work in our parks and public areas cleaning up the crap. It is not unusual to put people convicted of misdemeanors to work on community service. These jerks have barely begun their community service and they are getting paid outrageous sums to sit on their asses. Get to work and help clean up the communities that you claim to represent.
  • Volunteer. Big Brothers and Big Sisters could use 308 semi-intelligent people to help with all of those kids looking for mentors. Maybe they could work at "out of the cold" programs or clean cages at the Humane Society. There is a lengthy list of agencies just crying for help and maybe if our ivory towered politicians saw up close those whom their politics directly affects, they might be less likely to slash and burn.
  • Teach in our public schools. Put every one of them to work explaining political science to our kids and make them answer for their decisions. Our children are often our toughest critics and ask the toughest questions. Our politicians need to be educated by our youth.
These are just a few that popped into my scrambled brain. I am sure that you have others. Send them along and I will publish.  

UPDATE*** The Sound of Music trivia is closed and I must say that I never thought that you guys would wuss out on the toughies. I did get a few responses, but Kathy once again triumphed with 10/10! Thanks all for playing.


  1. Maybe nothing can be done... one Maclean's blog is calling this "Harpergeddon"

    I'd laugh if it wasn't so terrifying.

  2. How about having the MPs really help small businesses and the economy. We could use some (unpaid) help:

    - cleaning bottles
    - filling bottles
    - assembling a pot still, rectification columns, a mash tun, tanks, etc.
    - lugging bags of grain
    - polishing copper

  3. How about sending them into the homes of 308 laid off autoworkers, so that they can show them how to feed their families, pay their mortgages and plan for their future with no money and no hope.